Post by thealmightymudworm on Oct 20, 2013 22:41:35 GMT
I originally posted this on the old forum in the hope of amusing someone. The lack of feedback probably wasn't a good sign 
but as nothing else is going up in this bit...
I've never read Creature of Havoc so this isn't a parody of that, I just liked the idea of someone waking up and having sub-human understanding of what was going on.
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your Initial SKILL. Halve this (round fractions down) for your current SKILL.
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your current STAMINA (no limits on increase).
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your Initial and current LUCK.
As you are unarmed and sluggish, winning an attack round in battle causes your opponent only 1 point of damage (3 with a successful LUCK roll, 0 with a failed one). Your opponents inflict 2 points as normal.
Keep track of your TIME score which starts on 0 and is measured in minutes.
Background:
Hazy… something about a swift half down The Crown? Did you have more after that? Where are your trousers? Turn to 1...
1.
ARRRRRRGH! You are yanked into horribly bright darkness by repetitive screams from some evil blob of colour close to you. Something hurts a lot - possibly your head. The intolerable screams continue and you sense the blob may attack at any moment. Do you…
Punch the blob? Turn to 4
Pat it reassuringly? Turn to 44
Attempt to flee? Turn to 31
2.
You take the driver's seat and aim to pull away immediately in the hope that the suddenly panicking passengers won't try to pull you away from the seat whilst the bus is moving. This really feels like a very, very bad idea indeed.
Roll two dice twice and compare the result to your SKILL. If the result is equal or greater either time, turn to 19, otherwise turn to 8.
3.
The UNIFORMED MAN is unfazed by your attack and brandishes a rolled up catalogue with alarming dexterity. He had faced many Yorkshire terriers and lived - you have a tough fight on your hands!
UNIFORMED MAN
SKILL 6 STAMINA 6
You may escape at any time by slamming the door, taking one last hit as you do so, and heading for the kitchen (turn to 36) or the living room (turn to 11). If you defeat the man he crumples down unconscious, dropping a package. Note the word 'postman' on your Adventure Sheet and turn to 33 to find out what the package contains.
4.
The blob is smashed to smithereens and mercifully the screams cease. It appears to have been an alarm clock. Your knuckles hurt but on the whole you feel that was a good move. Turn to 16.
5.
Test your LUCK. If you are Lucky, you successfully pull on some clothes - add 5 minutes to your TIME. If you are Unlucky, a tightness round your legs and an uncomfortable draft draw your attention to the fact that you have pulled a T-shirt on instead of trousers and have to start over - add 15 minutes to your time. You stagger out of your room. Will you go straight downstairs? (Turn to 23) Or visit the bathroom first? (Turn to 43.)
6.
You scramble to get the roller skates on and lunge to grab onto the back of the bus as it moves sluggishly away from you. There's a sort of bar which you grab onto for dear life. Passengers on the bus are peering at you with amusement and alarm. If you have the word 'nopants' on your Adventure Sheet, Test your Luck. If you are lucky, keep reading, otherwise turn to 25.
Keeping hold is not too difficult, but you are in danger of being battered against the back of the bus or falling and being dragged along the road every time the bus changes direction or speed. Roll two dice five times, every time comparing the result with your SKILL. For every time it is greater, deduct 3 points from your STAMINA.
If you manage to hold on, turn to 38.
7.
You throw up in explosive fashion. Add 20 minutes to your TIME score as you attempt to clean up. On the plus side, you immediately feel a little better with all of that out of you. Recover 1 SKILL point. However, you cannot salvage any clothes. Turn to 46.
8.
When the bus is within a few streets of your workplace you simply bring it to a stop and sprint out, leaving the other passengers angry and baffled. Taking a scenic route to the door in case anyone's watching, you stroll in nonchalantly. The guard seems pleased to see you. Turn to 400.
9.
You hand over the money. The driver looks somewhat unhappy at the number of coins, but after a moment's hesitation presses something and a piece of paper juts out at you. You take it automatically and loll across a couple of seats until you recognise your work building swing into view. You shuffle in through the door. The guard seems pleased to see you. Turn to 400.
10.
You're in time for your normal bus. You trek along to the stop and wait - but you feel uneasy. Can it be this simple? Do you have the word 'bastard' on your Adventure Sheet? If so, turn to 18. If you don't, but you have 'nopants' written down, turn to 39. Otherwise turn to 26.
11.
The living room is empty apart from a TV and a sofa. You could examine these further (Turn to 42), or conserve your time and either enter the kitchen (if you have not done so already) - turn to 36, or leave the house via the front door - turn to 27.
12.
The puny stairs are no match for your skilful technique. Add 5 to your TIME score. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door bell makes a hideous noise. Will you…
-Answer it? Turn to 21
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Go to the living room? Turn to 11
13.
You open the door …but the uniformed man has partially recovered his wits and scrabbles at your legs as you try to pass. You must try to jump over him. Roll two dice - if the result is less than or equal to your SKILL you make it to the road (turn to 28). Otherwise, he grabs your ankle and you are dragged down to the ground. Lose 2 STAMINA points. His catalogue-cosh swings at your head once more…
UNIFORMED MAN
SKILL 5 STAMINA 3
If you defeat him, turn to 28
14.
You search the kitchen, but it rapidly becomes clear that neither the cupboards nor the fridge have anything remotely edible in them. The only thing resembling food is what appears to be the remains of a kebab on the floor, which appears to be being eaten by a cat. Will you attempt to take the kebab away from the cat? (Turn to 41)
If not, you can
-Fix yourself a drink (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 17.
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
15.
Tea definitely helps. Restore 2 SKILL points, plus an extra SKILL point and 2 STAMINA points if you have paracetamol to wash down with it. Add 5 minutes to your TIME score. Now, if you have not already done so, you may…
Search out some food (turn to 14)?
Investigate the living room (turn to 11)?
Leave via the front door (turn to 27)?
16.
You'd better get up. Do you wish to ease yourself slowly out of bed (turn to 24) or leap to your feet (turn to 45)?
17.
Instinctively you drink a lot of water and set the kettle boiling. But what to have... tea (turn to 15) or coffee (turn to 30)?
18.
You see the bus appearing at the end of the road …but something makes you turn your head and look behind you. To your horror you see a panther-sized lurid pink cat resembling that which you killed earlier padding its way towards you. Surely it's just a hallucination? A guilty conscience and the after-effects of the Aftershock-and-gin mix from last night? But still it comes and you stagger back… and the bus's side-mirror smacks you across the back of the head knocking you out cold. The bus carries on - and your adventure ends here.
19.
In a lazy, unconcerned way, the bus rolls onto the curb and flattens a long length of metal fence before coming to a halt. At this point you decide that getting into work is the least of your worries and run over some playing fields as fast as your leaden legs will carry you. Perhaps an hour or two hiding from the police in a ditch would be a good move. Your adventure ends here.
20.
"Sjg nihf rfepl fbsf." the man burbles, handing you a block-like thing and a tiny stick. Desperate to show willing, you draw a smiley face on the block with the stick. The man seems satisfied by this, taking back block and stick and handing you a package. Turn to 33 to find out what it contains.
21.
The door opens to reveal a UNIFORMED MAN. He starts to speak in some unintelligible language - possibly English. His loud words make your ears hurt. Will you….
Attack immediately? Turn to 3.
Play along? Turn to 20.
Slam the door and flee to the kitchen (turn to 36) or the living room (turn to 11)?
22.
Sadly you realise that you're just too late to get into work today. You have a vague memory that this isn't the first time you've done this and it's unlikely they'll want you in again. You might as well get some hair of the dog. When does the pub open? Your adventure ends there.
23.
You look down the stairs and feel dizzy. How do these things work again? Will you attempt to walk down? (Turn to 32.) Or shuffle down on your bum? (Turn to 12.)
24.
Add 5 minutes to your TIME. You notice some clothes on the floor. Will you try to get dressed? (Turn to 5) Or not bother (turn to 46)?
25.
Unfortunately the sight of a person roller-skating behind a bus and flashing their buttocks to passers-by as their leather poncho floats up in the wind causes someone to contact the police, who happen to have a car on the bus route. You are arrested, and whilst you are happy to be given a pair of trousers your adventure ends here.
26.
The bus doors open and you step on. The driver nods a greeting and says "Fbr fseplfb sf". Now, what is it he normally wants?
If you have some loose change on you and wish to offer it to him, turn to 9. Otherwise turn to 37.
27.
You open the front door and step out into the cold air. If you have the word 'postman' on your Adventure Sheet, turn to 13. Otherwise, turn to 28.
28.
As the fresh air fills your lungs the fog starts to clear from your mind. You need to get to your job: deploying the SWORD program against trolls and hackers who attack the company you work for. You need to catch a bus - but have you already left it too late? Is your TIME score…
40 or less? Turn to 10
Over 40 but under 60? Turn to 29
60 or more? Turn to 22
29.
Your normal bus has been and gone. There are however other buses which take a similar route but which don't stop here - and you see one coming in the distance. Do you have a pair of rolllerskates? If so, turn to 6. If not, turn to 22.
30.
You need waking up and coffee will do the job. Restore 3 SKILL points, plus an extra SKILL point and 2 STAMINA points if you have paracetamol to wash down with it. However, the coffee hits home hard. Roll two dice. If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA, add 5 minutes to your TIME score. If it is greater, add 25 minutes as you clear up the vomit (for the second time? you can't remember).
If not, you can
-Search out some food (if you haven't already done so)? turn to 14
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
31.
You rush to flee…and crash straight into the wall on the other side of your bed. Your head explodes with pain - lose 2 STAMINA points. You fling the blob through your window and it knocks over a cyclist. Turn to 16.
32.
Whoa… Roll two dice and deduct 3 from the result. If the result is less than or equal to your SKILL you successfully stagger down without injury. If it is greater, you topple forward and slide down on your face - deduct 4 STAMINA points. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door bell makes a hideous noise. Will you…
-Answer it? Turn to 21
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Go to the living room? Turn to 11
33.
You open the package and find some boots with wheels on that you must have ordered when drunk (although not the most recent time…). You're not sure if you're in the best state to use them, but you'd better take them in case they're needed.
Now, if you haven't already done so, you may investigate...
The kitchen (turn to 36)?
The living room (turn to 11)?
Or perhaps you're already ready to leave? (Turn to 28)
34.
The driver is only too used to having punch ups with drunk and hungover people. He draws himself to his feet with a menacing air and spits out his chewing gum.
BUS DRIVER
SKILL 7 STAMINA 9
At any time you may escape without further damage to make use of a set of roller skates (turn to 6) or just give up (turn to 22)
If you reduce his STAMINA to 4 or less, the driver will allow you to bundle him out of the bus. Turn to 2.
35.
The troll also attempts to be diplomatic, because it's just your reflection in the mirror. You find some paracetamol in the cupboard which you may add to your possessions. Now it's time to tackle the stairs: turn to 23.
36.
You need sustenance. Will you fix yourself a drink first? (Turn to 17) Or scavenge for food? (Turn to 14).
Alternatively you could investigate the living room (turn to 11) or leave the house through the front door (turn to 27).
37.
The driver clearly wants something from you, and is not impressed by any offers of paracetamol or roller skates that you might make. He's now telling you to get off. Will you…
Attempt to hijack the bus? Turn to 34.
Get off the bus but attempt to tag along with it on roller skates if you have them? Turn to 6.
Simply get of the bus? Turn to 22.
38.
Bruised, but in one piece, you let go of the bus when you're near to your work building and roll glumly along to the entrance door. The guard seems pleased to see you and makes no comment on your appearance as you trundle in. Turn to 400.
39.
The bus stops and opens its doors - but the driver takes one look at you in your leather poncho and gasps 'N PO!' before closing the doors on you again. Do you have a set of roller skates? If so, turn to 6. If not, turn to 22.
40.
The mirror in which your image was reflected shatters. Deduct 7 points from your LUCK. You find some paracetamol in the cupboard which you may add to your possessions. Now it's time to tackle the stairs: turn to 23.
41.
The cat hisses. It is battle-hardened and far more agile than you. Fortunately it's not that keen on the kebab.
NEXT DOOR'S CAT
SKILL 5 STAMINA 5
If you reduce the cat's STAMINA to 1 point, it will escape through the back door (which is wide open - you should probably have closed that). If you win, the kebab restores 6 STAMINA points. Add 5 minutes to your TIME. If you actually kill the cat, write the word 'bastard' on your Adventure Sheet.
Now you can...
-Fix yourself a drink (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 17.
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
42.
Add 10 minutes to your TIME score. You don't discover anything new about the TV, but you discover a handful of change down the back of the sofa. Note it on your Adventure Sheet. Now will you...
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Leave via the front door? Turn to 27.
43.
As you enter the bathroom the face of a HIDEOUS TROLL looms up at your side. Will you
-Attack immediately? Turn to 40.
-Attempt to parley? Turn to 35.
44.
The tough exoskeleton of the creature is cold to the touch. Your caress quickly reassures it and it falls silent. You doze a little longer…but then it starts all over again! Cursing, you pull the batteries from what appears to be some form of alarming clock. Add 20 to your TIME score and turn to 16.
45.
You sense you should hurry …but standing up too fast makes you feel violently sick. Roll two dice. If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA you hold it in and can consider whether to get dressed (turn to 5) or not bother (turn to 46). If the total is greater, turn to 7.
46.
You figure the leather poncho you slept in will do. Make a note of the word 'nopants' on your Adventure Sheet. You stagger out of your room. Will you go straight downstairs? (Turn to 23) Or visit the bathroom first? (Turn to 43.)
400.
Your colleagues are absolutely delighted to see you. When they hear your tales of how you successfully found your way around your house and negotiated the bus route, they are so impressed that you are immediately put in charge of everything. The job comes with a sack of jewels and unlimited use of a chauffeur-driven car. Your mornings will never be difficult again.
but as nothing else is going up in this bit...I've never read Creature of Havoc so this isn't a parody of that, I just liked the idea of someone waking up and having sub-human understanding of what was going on.
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your Initial SKILL. Halve this (round fractions down) for your current SKILL.
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your current STAMINA (no limits on increase).
Roll 1 die and add 6 for your Initial and current LUCK.
As you are unarmed and sluggish, winning an attack round in battle causes your opponent only 1 point of damage (3 with a successful LUCK roll, 0 with a failed one). Your opponents inflict 2 points as normal.
Keep track of your TIME score which starts on 0 and is measured in minutes.
Background:
Hazy… something about a swift half down The Crown? Did you have more after that? Where are your trousers? Turn to 1...
1.
ARRRRRRGH! You are yanked into horribly bright darkness by repetitive screams from some evil blob of colour close to you. Something hurts a lot - possibly your head. The intolerable screams continue and you sense the blob may attack at any moment. Do you…
Punch the blob? Turn to 4
Pat it reassuringly? Turn to 44
Attempt to flee? Turn to 31
2.
You take the driver's seat and aim to pull away immediately in the hope that the suddenly panicking passengers won't try to pull you away from the seat whilst the bus is moving. This really feels like a very, very bad idea indeed.
Roll two dice twice and compare the result to your SKILL. If the result is equal or greater either time, turn to 19, otherwise turn to 8.
3.
The UNIFORMED MAN is unfazed by your attack and brandishes a rolled up catalogue with alarming dexterity. He had faced many Yorkshire terriers and lived - you have a tough fight on your hands!
UNIFORMED MAN
SKILL 6 STAMINA 6
You may escape at any time by slamming the door, taking one last hit as you do so, and heading for the kitchen (turn to 36) or the living room (turn to 11). If you defeat the man he crumples down unconscious, dropping a package. Note the word 'postman' on your Adventure Sheet and turn to 33 to find out what the package contains.
4.
The blob is smashed to smithereens and mercifully the screams cease. It appears to have been an alarm clock. Your knuckles hurt but on the whole you feel that was a good move. Turn to 16.
5.
Test your LUCK. If you are Lucky, you successfully pull on some clothes - add 5 minutes to your TIME. If you are Unlucky, a tightness round your legs and an uncomfortable draft draw your attention to the fact that you have pulled a T-shirt on instead of trousers and have to start over - add 15 minutes to your time. You stagger out of your room. Will you go straight downstairs? (Turn to 23) Or visit the bathroom first? (Turn to 43.)
6.
You scramble to get the roller skates on and lunge to grab onto the back of the bus as it moves sluggishly away from you. There's a sort of bar which you grab onto for dear life. Passengers on the bus are peering at you with amusement and alarm. If you have the word 'nopants' on your Adventure Sheet, Test your Luck. If you are lucky, keep reading, otherwise turn to 25.
Keeping hold is not too difficult, but you are in danger of being battered against the back of the bus or falling and being dragged along the road every time the bus changes direction or speed. Roll two dice five times, every time comparing the result with your SKILL. For every time it is greater, deduct 3 points from your STAMINA.
If you manage to hold on, turn to 38.
7.
You throw up in explosive fashion. Add 20 minutes to your TIME score as you attempt to clean up. On the plus side, you immediately feel a little better with all of that out of you. Recover 1 SKILL point. However, you cannot salvage any clothes. Turn to 46.
8.
When the bus is within a few streets of your workplace you simply bring it to a stop and sprint out, leaving the other passengers angry and baffled. Taking a scenic route to the door in case anyone's watching, you stroll in nonchalantly. The guard seems pleased to see you. Turn to 400.
9.
You hand over the money. The driver looks somewhat unhappy at the number of coins, but after a moment's hesitation presses something and a piece of paper juts out at you. You take it automatically and loll across a couple of seats until you recognise your work building swing into view. You shuffle in through the door. The guard seems pleased to see you. Turn to 400.
10.
You're in time for your normal bus. You trek along to the stop and wait - but you feel uneasy. Can it be this simple? Do you have the word 'bastard' on your Adventure Sheet? If so, turn to 18. If you don't, but you have 'nopants' written down, turn to 39. Otherwise turn to 26.
11.
The living room is empty apart from a TV and a sofa. You could examine these further (Turn to 42), or conserve your time and either enter the kitchen (if you have not done so already) - turn to 36, or leave the house via the front door - turn to 27.
12.
The puny stairs are no match for your skilful technique. Add 5 to your TIME score. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door bell makes a hideous noise. Will you…
-Answer it? Turn to 21
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Go to the living room? Turn to 11
13.
You open the door …but the uniformed man has partially recovered his wits and scrabbles at your legs as you try to pass. You must try to jump over him. Roll two dice - if the result is less than or equal to your SKILL you make it to the road (turn to 28). Otherwise, he grabs your ankle and you are dragged down to the ground. Lose 2 STAMINA points. His catalogue-cosh swings at your head once more…
UNIFORMED MAN
SKILL 5 STAMINA 3
If you defeat him, turn to 28
14.
You search the kitchen, but it rapidly becomes clear that neither the cupboards nor the fridge have anything remotely edible in them. The only thing resembling food is what appears to be the remains of a kebab on the floor, which appears to be being eaten by a cat. Will you attempt to take the kebab away from the cat? (Turn to 41)
If not, you can
-Fix yourself a drink (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 17.
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
15.
Tea definitely helps. Restore 2 SKILL points, plus an extra SKILL point and 2 STAMINA points if you have paracetamol to wash down with it. Add 5 minutes to your TIME score. Now, if you have not already done so, you may…
Search out some food (turn to 14)?
Investigate the living room (turn to 11)?
Leave via the front door (turn to 27)?
16.
You'd better get up. Do you wish to ease yourself slowly out of bed (turn to 24) or leap to your feet (turn to 45)?
17.
Instinctively you drink a lot of water and set the kettle boiling. But what to have... tea (turn to 15) or coffee (turn to 30)?
18.
You see the bus appearing at the end of the road …but something makes you turn your head and look behind you. To your horror you see a panther-sized lurid pink cat resembling that which you killed earlier padding its way towards you. Surely it's just a hallucination? A guilty conscience and the after-effects of the Aftershock-and-gin mix from last night? But still it comes and you stagger back… and the bus's side-mirror smacks you across the back of the head knocking you out cold. The bus carries on - and your adventure ends here.
19.
In a lazy, unconcerned way, the bus rolls onto the curb and flattens a long length of metal fence before coming to a halt. At this point you decide that getting into work is the least of your worries and run over some playing fields as fast as your leaden legs will carry you. Perhaps an hour or two hiding from the police in a ditch would be a good move. Your adventure ends here.
20.
"Sjg nihf rfepl fbsf." the man burbles, handing you a block-like thing and a tiny stick. Desperate to show willing, you draw a smiley face on the block with the stick. The man seems satisfied by this, taking back block and stick and handing you a package. Turn to 33 to find out what it contains.
21.
The door opens to reveal a UNIFORMED MAN. He starts to speak in some unintelligible language - possibly English. His loud words make your ears hurt. Will you….
Attack immediately? Turn to 3.
Play along? Turn to 20.
Slam the door and flee to the kitchen (turn to 36) or the living room (turn to 11)?
22.
Sadly you realise that you're just too late to get into work today. You have a vague memory that this isn't the first time you've done this and it's unlikely they'll want you in again. You might as well get some hair of the dog. When does the pub open? Your adventure ends there.
23.
You look down the stairs and feel dizzy. How do these things work again? Will you attempt to walk down? (Turn to 32.) Or shuffle down on your bum? (Turn to 12.)
24.
Add 5 minutes to your TIME. You notice some clothes on the floor. Will you try to get dressed? (Turn to 5) Or not bother (turn to 46)?
25.
Unfortunately the sight of a person roller-skating behind a bus and flashing their buttocks to passers-by as their leather poncho floats up in the wind causes someone to contact the police, who happen to have a car on the bus route. You are arrested, and whilst you are happy to be given a pair of trousers your adventure ends here.
26.
The bus doors open and you step on. The driver nods a greeting and says "Fbr fseplfb sf". Now, what is it he normally wants?
If you have some loose change on you and wish to offer it to him, turn to 9. Otherwise turn to 37.
27.
You open the front door and step out into the cold air. If you have the word 'postman' on your Adventure Sheet, turn to 13. Otherwise, turn to 28.
28.
As the fresh air fills your lungs the fog starts to clear from your mind. You need to get to your job: deploying the SWORD program against trolls and hackers who attack the company you work for. You need to catch a bus - but have you already left it too late? Is your TIME score…
40 or less? Turn to 10
Over 40 but under 60? Turn to 29
60 or more? Turn to 22
29.
Your normal bus has been and gone. There are however other buses which take a similar route but which don't stop here - and you see one coming in the distance. Do you have a pair of rolllerskates? If so, turn to 6. If not, turn to 22.
30.
You need waking up and coffee will do the job. Restore 3 SKILL points, plus an extra SKILL point and 2 STAMINA points if you have paracetamol to wash down with it. However, the coffee hits home hard. Roll two dice. If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA, add 5 minutes to your TIME score. If it is greater, add 25 minutes as you clear up the vomit (for the second time? you can't remember).
If not, you can
-Search out some food (if you haven't already done so)? turn to 14
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
31.
You rush to flee…and crash straight into the wall on the other side of your bed. Your head explodes with pain - lose 2 STAMINA points. You fling the blob through your window and it knocks over a cyclist. Turn to 16.
32.
Whoa… Roll two dice and deduct 3 from the result. If the result is less than or equal to your SKILL you successfully stagger down without injury. If it is greater, you topple forward and slide down on your face - deduct 4 STAMINA points. As you reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door bell makes a hideous noise. Will you…
-Answer it? Turn to 21
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Go to the living room? Turn to 11
33.
You open the package and find some boots with wheels on that you must have ordered when drunk (although not the most recent time…). You're not sure if you're in the best state to use them, but you'd better take them in case they're needed.
Now, if you haven't already done so, you may investigate...
The kitchen (turn to 36)?
The living room (turn to 11)?
Or perhaps you're already ready to leave? (Turn to 28)
34.
The driver is only too used to having punch ups with drunk and hungover people. He draws himself to his feet with a menacing air and spits out his chewing gum.
BUS DRIVER
SKILL 7 STAMINA 9
At any time you may escape without further damage to make use of a set of roller skates (turn to 6) or just give up (turn to 22)
If you reduce his STAMINA to 4 or less, the driver will allow you to bundle him out of the bus. Turn to 2.
35.
The troll also attempts to be diplomatic, because it's just your reflection in the mirror. You find some paracetamol in the cupboard which you may add to your possessions. Now it's time to tackle the stairs: turn to 23.
36.
You need sustenance. Will you fix yourself a drink first? (Turn to 17) Or scavenge for food? (Turn to 14).
Alternatively you could investigate the living room (turn to 11) or leave the house through the front door (turn to 27).
37.
The driver clearly wants something from you, and is not impressed by any offers of paracetamol or roller skates that you might make. He's now telling you to get off. Will you…
Attempt to hijack the bus? Turn to 34.
Get off the bus but attempt to tag along with it on roller skates if you have them? Turn to 6.
Simply get of the bus? Turn to 22.
38.
Bruised, but in one piece, you let go of the bus when you're near to your work building and roll glumly along to the entrance door. The guard seems pleased to see you and makes no comment on your appearance as you trundle in. Turn to 400.
39.
The bus stops and opens its doors - but the driver takes one look at you in your leather poncho and gasps 'N PO!' before closing the doors on you again. Do you have a set of roller skates? If so, turn to 6. If not, turn to 22.
40.
The mirror in which your image was reflected shatters. Deduct 7 points from your LUCK. You find some paracetamol in the cupboard which you may add to your possessions. Now it's time to tackle the stairs: turn to 23.
41.
The cat hisses. It is battle-hardened and far more agile than you. Fortunately it's not that keen on the kebab.
NEXT DOOR'S CAT
SKILL 5 STAMINA 5
If you reduce the cat's STAMINA to 1 point, it will escape through the back door (which is wide open - you should probably have closed that). If you win, the kebab restores 6 STAMINA points. Add 5 minutes to your TIME. If you actually kill the cat, write the word 'bastard' on your Adventure Sheet.
Now you can...
-Fix yourself a drink (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 17.
-Check out the living room (if you haven't already done so)? Turn to 11.
-Leave via the front door. Turn to 27.
42.
Add 10 minutes to your TIME score. You don't discover anything new about the TV, but you discover a handful of change down the back of the sofa. Note it on your Adventure Sheet. Now will you...
-Go to the kitchen? Turn to 36
-Leave via the front door? Turn to 27.
43.
As you enter the bathroom the face of a HIDEOUS TROLL looms up at your side. Will you
-Attack immediately? Turn to 40.
-Attempt to parley? Turn to 35.
44.
The tough exoskeleton of the creature is cold to the touch. Your caress quickly reassures it and it falls silent. You doze a little longer…but then it starts all over again! Cursing, you pull the batteries from what appears to be some form of alarming clock. Add 20 to your TIME score and turn to 16.
45.
You sense you should hurry …but standing up too fast makes you feel violently sick. Roll two dice. If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA you hold it in and can consider whether to get dressed (turn to 5) or not bother (turn to 46). If the total is greater, turn to 7.
46.
You figure the leather poncho you slept in will do. Make a note of the word 'nopants' on your Adventure Sheet. You stagger out of your room. Will you go straight downstairs? (Turn to 23) Or visit the bathroom first? (Turn to 43.)
400.
Your colleagues are absolutely delighted to see you. When they hear your tales of how you successfully found your way around your house and negotiated the bus route, they are so impressed that you are immediately put in charge of everything. The job comes with a sack of jewels and unlimited use of a chauffeur-driven car. Your mornings will never be difficult again.
