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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:42:56 GMT
This is partly inspired by a thread on TUFFF about the women of FF. I might post the remains of that separately (although not sure if it would impress posters of that gender all that much).
It's just an idea to post up any characters (probably human or humanoid although it's your call) - male, female, both or indeterminate - in the style of a dating profile, starting with a dream date of mine...
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:46:55 GMT
 Name: Elindora Location: Shamdabag Wood, Stayng Island Eyes: Emerald Green Hair: Brown Body type: Slim Race/Skin tone: Elvish, and my skin is like moonlight (I'm reliably informed) Style: Black hoodie. I don't like being judged on my appearance. I'm on here to meet someone from away from the wood, as most of them are homely types and one in particular thinks they're a decent singer-songwriter, which they aren't. Excuse the selfie - I was travelling on my own when it was taken. Hobbies: Hypnotism, making daisy-chains and stabbing dead chicks to make sure they're dead. Turn-ons: Burly men who aren't afraid to wear jewellery. Turn-offs: The undead. (Sorry! Not racist, just not my thing.) First date: I'll probably just turn up at your bedroom to start with (DON'T get the wrong idea) and then …maybe a graveyard? I reckon a girl can find out a lot about a guy by how he handles himself in a graveyard. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:55:20 GMT
 Name: Zanbar Bone Location: Port Blacksand Eyes: Bright Green (possibly my best feature) Hair: None Body type: Thin Race/Skin tone: Undead/None Style: Ostentatious - I'm rarely seen without a black robe and gold diadem Occupation: Night Prince (part-time warlock, some demonic stuff… I dabble) I thought I'd give this a go as my previous attempts at dating have been met with alarm. I don't know why. Perhaps it's the fact that I have a number of women (witches, vampires, etc) working under me who also live in. But really: I own my own tower and I have immense riches at my disposal. Come on ladies! Why just assume the worst. It's true I have a bit of a temper, but wouldn't you in my situation? I'm a traditionalist, and my fiancée will be given an impressive engagement ring. In fact she will not be allowed to see me before she has the ring. Turn-ons: Animals. I love my dogs, and yet in some ways I'm very much a cat person. Turn-offs: Flowers, tattoos and hags (unless bald). Contrary to what you may have heard I have no problem with pearls of any kind. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 9, 2014 2:04:45 GMT
I think it may just be me that likes this idea - wouldn't be the first time.  Just to mention: the image for the next one isn't taken from DotD as there isn't one, it's an impressive piece by douzen on deviantART. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 9, 2014 2:05:37 GMT
 Name: (ask me) Location: Atlantis Eyes: Pearl-like Hair: None Body type: Hydrodynamic Race/Skin tone: Deep One - jade and pleasantly moist Style: Regal Occupation: Princess OK, so basically I've been out of action for a bit and want to meet some new people. Turn-ons: Being kissed firmly by strangers when I'm asleep. Turn-offs: The 'dryworld' look; mermen. First date: Something exciting for a change. I'm so tired of just swimming with sharks all day. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 22, 2014 13:23:50 GMT
 Name: Katarina Heydrich Age: (prefer not to say) Eyes: Green (glittering) Hair: Black, curly, flowing Body type: Slender Race/Skin tone: Human(ish), pale Style: Noble, LBD Occupation: Lady of Leisure Best feature: Husky, seductive voice I’m very close to my family - despite being the only girl - and it’s hard to imagine that anyone would replace my brother. But with a bit of luck someone will: me. If you would like to join me in this quest you will not find me ungrateful. (Honest) Hobbies: Hypnotism, all-natural beauty products, purring Turn-on: Manly men - but I also like girls. Turn-offs: Castellens |
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Post by hynreck on Feb 28, 2014 14:48:35 GMT
I just found out this thread, I find it hilarious. Good job almightymudworm!
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 1, 2014 15:18:05 GMT
Thanks. I thought I was alone.  I reckon you’d be good at these… |
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Post by hynreck on Mar 6, 2014 17:34:40 GMT
Perhaps, but due to circumstances, I doubt I can ever achieve this level of funny.
To be clearer: I usually post at the job (like now) when I've got a minute, and my book collection is obviously at home and I'd have to take time to go through it to find an interesting piece of art, at the very least.
...and since I'm struggling posting my reviews, lol! Don't know how I'd manage. But who knows, when it's all quiet and with no immediate reviews (there's all those reviews that are lost and in need of reposting, too, as you are well aware)...
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 7, 2014 13:31:52 GMT
You leave your book collection at home?!  But they must get terribly lonely without you… Yes, fair enough. Looking forward to a glut of them from you sometime between month and a year’s time then, maybe. For the pics, generally I’ve started with a memory of a striking image and then looked for somewhere to embed it from, starting with Titannica, then Google Images. |
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Post by hynreck on Mar 7, 2014 16:38:22 GMT
You leave your book collection at home?! But they must get terribly lonely without you… Yes, fair enough. Looking forward to a glut of them from you sometime between month and a year’s time then, maybe. For the pics, generally I’ve started with a memory of a striking image and then looked for somewhere to embed it from, starting with Titannica, then Google Images. Oh yeah, this could work fine too, I guess (googling images). I used to carry all my books around, believe it or not, but someone stole my hammerspace case and now I can't anymore. Well, I did try putting them on my back, but it made me look like the garbage lady in Labyrinth and we all know look is all that matter in life... |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 7, 2014 19:54:41 GMT
 Name: Hawkana Eyes: Filled with malice Hair: Flowing, raven-black curls Body type: Tall, slender Race/Skin tone: Human, pale Style: Chainmail with a black cloak Occupation: Marshal of the Watch Best feature: Cruel, striking beauty Quirky fault: Arrogance; inability to let things go I’m intrigued to see if there’s a man out there who can take me on. I’ve been compared to a tiger and a cobra so good luck! Hobbies: Carving (spleens mostly), fire Also, I am the High Priestess of Fell-Kyrinla. All the girls in the Watch are in it. We like horses. Turn-ons: Jewellery. I’m especially fond of my green-glowing ring but I really want a skull-shaped ruby on a black obsidian disk. Ever since I heard of such a thing I can’t stop thinking about it. I just think it’s so cool. Turn-offs: Don’t borrow any of my things or you’ll never hear the last of it! Being disturbed when I’m talking to the goddess. Stay out of my room. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 12, 2014 2:52:13 GMT
 Name: Gargantus Eyes: Red, glowing Hair: Mostly on my legs Body type: Tall - really tall - and well built. Race/Skin tone: No one knows; bronze-coloured (it actually is bronze) Style: ? - I like wearing a helmet Occupation: Evil demon’s hired goon Best feature: Sculpted upper-body physique Quirky fault: If looks could kill …well mine can First off: Yes I know girls think guys who take pictures of themselves with their shirts off are muppets but have you ever tried buying a shirt for a 15 foot tall humanoid? Also, no jokes about hairy legs - I’ve heard them all. My job doesn't allow me a lot of time off and there's no chance of developing a relationship with anyone I meet at work... I'm just a big guy with a heart of gold (or some kind of metal anyway) hoping to find his ideal woman (12 foot tall, jets of flame for eyes, torso made of platinum and the legs of a giant pig). Hobbies: Rending stuff Turn-ons: A back rub would be nice - preferably with a vinegar-based paste. Turn-offs: Thunderstorms and girls who point. I suppose the worst thing would be some nightmarish combination of the two. |
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Post by hynreck on Mar 12, 2014 12:06:30 GMT
Hope Gargantus never meets with Storm (X-Men), then.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 12, 2014 13:43:35 GMT
Hope Gargantus never meets with Storm (X-Men), then. No. That date would not go well. Mind you, he is basically a much more intimidating version of Cyclops, so maybe he'd get on with some of the other X-Men. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 21, 2014 15:31:29 GMT
 Name: (ask me) Eyes: Deep set, dark Hair: Just tufts Body type: A bit out of shape Race/Skin tone: Human (undead)/Grey Style: Extremely casual Occupation: (none) Best feature: Big smile Quirky fault: Nasal maggots Right, let’s get things straight: I’m not active and I don’t dress smart. I spend most of my time lounging around. I can’t remember when I got new clothes or cut my fingernails. Frankly I’m a bit of a slob. As for what I’m looking for in a date …I’m not that fussy as to looks or anything. Just a woman (or man, whatever) who is sexually compatible - I’m quite into BDSM. You might find by the end of our meeting that you’re face down and unable to move. And then …well these teeth aren’t just for smiling you know. Turn-ons: Can’t beat a rare rump steak. Turn-offs: (none) |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 26, 2014 16:39:04 GMT
 Name: Lignia Eyes: Brown Hair: Brown Body type: Tall and thin Race/Skin tone: Dryad/Brown (and wrinkly) Style: I make my own clothes Occupation: Gardener/Forest Ranger Best feature: Gentle voice Quirky fault: Hard skin, prejudice I am the head of a hippy commune and live in a treehouse. You can tell how important I am because I have brown hair instead of green like everyone else. We are deeply suspicious of new technology: That is, we dislike pretty much anything that isn’t made from wood. Specifically wood gained by asking the trees nicely. I’m not sure that I need a man, but if you have wood for me then you’re welcome to visit. Turn-ons: Sunshine Turn-offs: Heavy metal ( Image by jflasher on DeviantART) |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Apr 7, 2014 15:55:49 GMT
 Name: Baratcha Eyes: Dark Hair: None Body type: Very tall, a few extra pounds Race/Skin tone: Vaskind (sea amphibian)/Mottled green & brown (with a few warts - so?) Style: Regal Occupation: Queen Best feature: Broad smile, unselfish attitude. Looking for someone warm - well really anyone who can cope with the fact I’m nine feet tall with sharp teeth and no lips. I'm tired of living in a bubble. First date: Maybe a drink somewhere with no bright lights. No ice for me thanks. Turn-ons: Candlelight Turn-offs: Archmages |
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kieran
Baron
Posts: 2,563
Favourite Gamebook Series: Fighting Fantasy
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Post by kieran on Apr 8, 2014 11:37:20 GMT
Haha, these are hilarious!  Name: Thyra Location: Spire-shaped mountain in the Freezeblood Range Hair: Static Body-type: Crackly Race/skin tone: Blinding Style: Figure-hugging robes Looking to meet a man who knows how to respect a woman. This includes bowing before her, refraining from mentioning dwarfs or dark elves and never calling twice within a 48 hour period. Bit of an anger management problem, but if you can't take me when I'm wrathful, you don't deserve me when I'm buzzing. Hobbies: Being shown respect, killing harmless passers-by for slight misdemeanours Turn-ons: Respect, praise, adulation, privacy Turn-offs: Clinginess, short men, beards, mining, singing whilst mining First date: You will pick me up from my mountain abode and if I do not obliterate you into dust within the first five seconds of meeting you, we will take it from there. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Aug 3, 2014 1:13:24 GMT
 Name: Anxis Eyes: Dark, glaring Hair: Dark Body type: Athletic Race/Skin tone: Human/dark-skinned Style: Regal Occupation: Queen Best feature: Fab abs! Quirky fault: Haughty attitude, prejudice, silly haircut, inexplicable triangular bulge on left leg Hobbies: Making cat-like roars First date: I have simple tastes - let’s do dinner. Of course, dinner will start the evening as a healthy adult triceratops which I expect you to kill. Turn-ons: Tattoos. I like it when my date has weaponry tattooed on their forehead. (Obviously I don’t have tramp-stamps anywhere - what do you take me for.) Reverse S&M: Basically, you chain me hand and foot and then I whip you. Turn-offs: Potato-headed mine owners. |
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kieran
Baron
Posts: 2,563
Favourite Gamebook Series: Fighting Fantasy
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Post by kieran on Aug 7, 2014 11:33:21 GMT
Haha - never noticed that before.
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Post by hynreck on Sept 3, 2014 14:54:43 GMT
Again, very funny, good job! Nice observations, too.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Aug 30, 2015 0:35:40 GMT
 Name: Jesper Eyes: Dark Hair: Light, smooth Body type: Mongoose Race/Skin tone: Mongoose Occupation: Talking snake-bane Best feature: Intelligence, resourcefulness, speed Quirky fault: I don’t suffer fools gladly. Well hello lady mongooses! I don’t wish to sound conceited, but I must be one of the most eligible creatures in fur… better than flocks of goats (I’m told). My travels have allowed me to live the celebrity life-style - there can scarcely be a nomadic warrior-savant who does not know my name - and I can sleep anywhere for free. I’m an athlete as well as a brain (though I dislike exploiting my gymnastic abilities for pay), and whilst I’m not rich I can always come by enough gold to treat you well - no matter how many fat legs I need to bite. Don’t delay in getting in touch - there are many ladies who would like to be entrusted with my silver whistle. Hobbies: -Travel -Hatching multi-coloured chicks with my body heat -Playing with decapitated river pythons Turn-ons: Praise for my assorted talents. Turn-offs: Not being listened to; the suggestion that I could serve best use as a pie and pair of gloves. |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Sept 6, 2015 23:23:03 GMT
 Name: Argolis Eyes: Wild and staring Hair: None Body type: Amazonian Race/Skin tone: Demothrax/Dark skin Occupation: Demolition expert Best feature: Toothy smile, high stamina (hey boys) Quirky fault: Maggots, waves of barely checked evil I’m looking for anyone who’s interested in me rather than something I have, unlike the last guy. Also if you’re the type who likes to tie their girlfriends up, that’s not happening - I had a bad experience once. (If you want to be tied up that’s fine.) Hobbies: Anything but potholing. First date: Not sure, but not a movie or dinner. I’m pretty much done with sitting still. Turn-ons: I love the sunshine, and especially killing people in sunshine. RELEASE ME! Turn-offs: Acrobats |
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Deleted
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Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2015 22:55:24 GMT
Any profile on Lord Azzur? I'd like to date him.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Apr 5, 2020 5:17:56 GMT
The following one is based off the illustration that gave me the idea for my character in the Wishing Well playthrough. Not sure whether it's the same person, but I've stuck with the name and the ear thing. (I was going to flatly insist that my character was in possession of a soft toy in that, but decided it wasn't worth the hassle.) Maybe it's all a bit obvious but there's nothing wrong with an occasional cheap laugh.  |
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Apr 5, 2020 5:22:47 GMT
 Name: Jack Timberlug Eyes: Two (eyepatch for aesthetic reasons only) Hair: Short and dark Body type: Salted and pickled Race/Skin tone: Human, mild to moderate scurvy Style: Swashbuckling Occupation: Hostile takeover specialist Best feature: I still have all four limbs and nearly half of my original teeth Quirky fault: Wooden ear I believe that the best things in life are free. At least I've had to believe that since some bastard took my valuables and I can no longer afford whores. So you can be sure no one else gets to share my hammock except my beloved toy rabbit, Mr Fluffykins (see picture). Hobbies: Travel, wealth redistribution, grog. Turn-ons: Pretty, pretty pearls Turn-offs: People who steal during nap time. |
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kieran
Baron
Posts: 2,563
Favourite Gamebook Series: Fighting Fantasy
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Post by kieran on Apr 5, 2020 9:26:29 GMT
Name: Jack Timberlug Eyes: Two (eyepatch for aesthetic reasons only) Hair: Short and dark Body type: Salted and pickled Race/Skin tone: Human, mild to moderate scurvy Style: Swashbuckling Occupation: Hostile takeover specialist Best feature: I still have all four limbs and nearly half of my original teeth Quirky fault: Wooden ear I believe that the best things in life are free. At least I've had to believe that since some bastard took my valuables and I can no longer afford whores. So you can be sure no one else gets to share my hammock except my beloved toy rabbit, Mr Fluffykins (see picture). Hobbies: Travel, wealth redistribution, grog. Turn-ons: Pretty, pretty pearls Turn-offs: People who steal during nap time. Never really noticed that the poor pirate on the bottom is getting squashed before. |
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CharlesX
Baron
Posts: 2,548 
Member is Online
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Post by CharlesX on Feb 10, 2024 11:57:08 GMT
Dating Zanbar Bone can be a pain, if he falls out with his partner she will spend the night in the 'guest's bed' which will transform her into a mindless undead slave. Wait was the video still going? Best cut that out. |
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CharlesX
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Post by CharlesX on Feb 11, 2024 18:47:41 GMT
Lol this has a couple of FF females I thought were hawt growing up, Elindora and Kataraina Heydrich (I tried not to think about Katarina actually being deeply old). GhoulsJustWannaHaveFun has to be in the top two funniest even if its probably the one that required the least work.
I've no idea if Lord Azzur has a partner but he's very rich and aloof with an iron personality. Very Game Of Thrones.
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But they must get terribly lonely without you…
