Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:42:56 GMT
This is partly inspired by a thread on TUFFF about the women of FF. I might post the remains of that separately (although not sure if it would impress posters of that gender all that much).
It's just an idea to post up any characters (probably human or humanoid although it's your call) - male, female, both or indeterminate - in the style of a dating profile, starting with a dream date of mine...
Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:46:55 GMT
Location: Shamdabag Wood, Stayng Island Eyes: Emerald Green Hair: Brown Body type: Slim Race/Skin tone: Elvish, and my skin is like moonlight (I'm reliably informed) Style: Black hoodie. I don't like being judged on my appearance.
I'm on here to meet someone from away from the wood, as most of them are homely types and one in particular thinks they're a decent singer-songwriter, which they aren't.
Excuse the selfie - I was travelling on my own when it was taken.
Hobbies: Hypnotism, making daisy-chains and stabbing dead chicks to make sure they're dead.
Turn-ons: Burly men who aren't afraid to wear jewellery. Turn-offs: The undead. (Sorry! Not racist, just not my thing.)
First date: I'll probably just turn up at your bedroom to start with (DON'T get the wrong idea) and then …maybe a graveyard? I reckon a girl can find out a lot about a guy by how he handles himself in a graveyard.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 8, 2014 1:55:20 GMT
Zanbar Bone, posting on sugardaddie.com said:
Name: Zanbar Bone
Location: Port Blacksand Eyes: Bright Green (possibly my best feature) Hair: None Body type: Thin Race/Skin tone: Undead/None Style: Ostentatious - I'm rarely seen without a black robe and gold diadem Occupation: Night Prince (part-time warlock, some demonic stuff… I dabble)
I thought I'd give this a go as my previous attempts at dating have been met with alarm. I don't know why. Perhaps it's the fact that I have a number of women (witches, vampires, etc) working under me who also live in.
But really: I own my own tower and I have immense riches at my disposal. Come on ladies! Why just assume the worst. It's true I have a bit of a temper, but wouldn't you in my situation?
I'm a traditionalist, and my fiancée will be given an impressive engagement ring. In fact she will not be allowed to see me before she has the ring.
Turn-ons: Animals. I love my dogs, and yet in some ways I'm very much a cat person. Turn-offs: Flowers, tattoos and hags (unless bald). Contrary to what you may have heard I have no problem with pearls of any kind.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Feb 22, 2014 13:23:50 GMT
Katarina Heydrich said:
Name: Katarina Heydrich Age: (prefer not to say) Eyes: Green (glittering) Hair: Black, curly, flowing Body type: Slender Race/Skin tone: Human(ish), pale Style: Noble, LBD Occupation: Lady of Leisure Best feature: Husky, seductive voice
I’m very close to my family - despite being the only girl - and it’s hard to imagine that anyone would replace my brother. But with a bit of luck someone will: me. If you would like to join me in this quest you will not find me ungrateful. (Honest)
Perhaps, but due to circumstances, I doubt I can ever achieve this level of funny. To be clearer: I usually post at the job (like now) when I've got a minute, and my book collection is obviously at home and I'd have to take time to go through it to find an interesting piece of art, at the very least. ...and since I'm struggling posting my reviews, lol! Don't know how I'd manage. But who knows, when it's all quiet and with no immediate reviews (there's all those reviews that are lost and in need of reposting, too, as you are well aware)...
You leave your book collection at home?! But they must get terribly lonely without you…
Yes, fair enough. Looking forward to a glut of them from you sometime between month and a year’s time then, maybe.
For the pics, generally I’ve started with a memory of a striking image and then looked for somewhere to embed it from, starting with Titannica, then Google Images.
Oh yeah, this could work fine too, I guess (googling images). I used to carry all my books around, believe it or not, but someone stole my hammerspace case and now I can't anymore. Well, I did try putting them on my back, but it made me look like the garbage lady in Labyrinth and we all know look is all that matter in life...
Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 7, 2014 19:54:41 GMT
Hawkana, posting on Pagan Partners said:
Name: Hawkana Eyes: Filled with malice Hair: Flowing, raven-black curls Body type: Tall, slender Race/Skin tone: Human, pale Style: Chainmail with a black cloak Occupation: Marshal of the Watch Best feature: Cruel, striking beauty Quirky fault: Arrogance; inability to let things go
I’m intrigued to see if there’s a man out there who can take me on. I’ve been compared to a tiger and a cobra so good luck!
Hobbies: Carving (spleens mostly), fire Also, I am the High Priestess of Fell-Kyrinla. All the girls in the Watch are in it. We like horses.
Turn-ons: Jewellery. I’m especially fond of my green-glowing ring but I really want a skull-shaped ruby on a black obsidian disk. Ever since I heard of such a thing I can’t stop thinking about it. I just think it’s so cool.
Turn-offs: Don’t borrow any of my things or you’ll never hear the last of it! Being disturbed when I’m talking to the goddess. Stay out of my room.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 12, 2014 2:52:13 GMT
Name: Gargantus Eyes: Red, glowing Hair: Mostly on my legs Body type: Tall - really tall - and well built. Race/Skin tone: No one knows; bronze-coloured (it actually is bronze) Style: ? - I like wearing a helmet Occupation: Evil demon’s hired goon Best feature: Sculpted upper-body physique Quirky fault: If looks could kill …well mine can
First off: Yes I know girls think guys who take pictures of themselves with their shirts off are muppets but have you ever tried buying a shirt for a 15 foot tall humanoid? Also, no jokes about hairy legs - I’ve heard them all.
My job doesn't allow me a lot of time off and there's no chance of developing a relationship with anyone I meet at work... I'm just a big guy with a heart of gold (or some kind of metal anyway) hoping to find his ideal woman (12 foot tall, jets of flame for eyes, torso made of platinum and the legs of a giant pig).
Hobbies: Rending stuff
Turn-ons: A back rub would be nice - preferably with a vinegar-based paste. Turn-offs: Thunderstorms and girls who point. I suppose the worst thing would be some nightmarish combination of the two.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 21, 2014 15:31:29 GMT
Name: (ask me) Eyes: Deep set, dark Hair: Just tufts Body type: A bit out of shape Race/Skin tone: Human (undead)/Grey Style: Extremely casual Occupation: (none) Best feature: Big smile Quirky fault: Nasal maggots
Right, let’s get things straight: I’m not active and I don’t dress smart. I spend most of my time lounging around. I can’t remember when I got new clothes or cut my fingernails. Frankly I’m a bit of a slob.
As for what I’m looking for in a date …I’m not that fussy as to looks or anything. Just a woman (or man, whatever) who is sexually compatible - I’m quite into BDSM. You might find by the end of our meeting that you’re face down and unable to move. And then …well these teeth aren’t just for smiling you know.
Turn-ons: Can’t beat a rare rump steak. Turn-offs: (none)
Post by thealmightymudworm on Mar 26, 2014 16:39:04 GMT
Lignia the Dryad posting on hippiesingles said:
Name: Lignia Eyes: Brown Hair: Brown Body type: Tall and thin Race/Skin tone: Dryad/Brown (and wrinkly) Style: I make my own clothes Occupation: Gardener/Forest Ranger Best feature: Gentle voice Quirky fault: Hard skin, prejudice
I am the head of a hippy commune and live in a treehouse. You can tell how important I am because I have brown hair instead of green like everyone else. We are deeply suspicious of new technology: That is, we dislike pretty much anything that isn’t made from wood. Specifically wood gained by asking the trees nicely.
I’m not sure that I need a man, but if you have wood for me then you’re welcome to visit.
Turn-ons: Sunshine Turn-offs: Heavy metal
Lignia The Dryad’s account has been suspended following complaints of sexual harassment and theft by two men who visited her.
They claim that shortly after meeting Lignia, they were relieved of their clothes and discovered that all their money had gone.
Hippiesingles takes your welfare seriously: These complaints have been passed to the Margrave.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Apr 7, 2014 15:55:49 GMT
Name: Baratcha Eyes: Dark Hair: None Body type: Very tall, a few extra pounds Race/Skin tone: Vaskind (sea amphibian)/Mottled green & brown (with a few warts - so?) Style: Regal Occupation: Queen Best feature: Broad smile, unselfish attitude.
Looking for someone warm - well really anyone who can cope with the fact I’m nine feet tall with sharp teeth and no lips. I'm tired of living in a bubble.
First date: Maybe a drink somewhere with no bright lights. No ice for me thanks.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Aug 3, 2014 1:13:24 GMT
Anxis the Hunter said:
Name: Anxis Eyes: Dark, glaring Hair: Dark Body type: Athletic Race/Skin tone: Human/dark-skinned Style: Regal Occupation: Queen Best feature: Fab abs! Quirky fault: Haughty attitude, prejudice, silly haircut, inexplicable triangular bulge on left leg
Hobbies: Making cat-like roars
First date: I have simple tastes - let’s do dinner. Of course, dinner will start the evening as a healthy adult triceratops which I expect you to kill.
Turn-ons: Tattoos. I like it when my date has weaponry tattooed on their forehead. (Obviously I don’t have tramp-stamps anywhere - what do you take me for.) Reverse S&M: Basically, you chain me hand and foot and then I whip you.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Aug 30, 2015 0:35:40 GMT
Jesper posting on Compare the Meerkat said:
Name: Jesper Eyes: Dark Hair: Light, smooth Body type: Mongoose Race/Skin tone: Mongoose Occupation: Talking snake-bane Best feature: Intelligence, resourcefulness, speed Quirky fault: I don’t suffer fools gladly.
Well hello lady mongooses! I don’t wish to sound conceited, but I must be one of the most eligible creatures in fur… better than flocks of goats (I’m told). My travels have allowed me to live the celebrity life-style - there can scarcely be a nomadic warrior-savant who does not know my name - and I can sleep anywhere for free. I’m an athlete as well as a brain (though I dislike exploiting my gymnastic abilities for pay), and whilst I’m not rich I can always come by enough gold to treat you well - no matter how many fat legs I need to bite. Don’t delay in getting in touch - there are many ladies who would like to be entrusted with my silver whistle.
Hobbies: -Travel -Hatching multi-coloured chicks with my body heat -Playing with decapitated river pythons
Turn-ons: Praise for my assorted talents. Turn-offs: Not being listened to; the suggestion that I could serve best use as a pie and pair of gloves.
Post by thealmightymudworm on Sept 6, 2015 23:23:03 GMT
Argolis posting on ShakeMyWorld.com said:
Name: Argolis Eyes: Wild and staring Hair: None Body type: Amazonian Race/Skin tone: Demothrax/Dark skin Occupation: Demolition expert Best feature: Toothy smile, high stamina (hey boys) Quirky fault: Maggots, waves of barely checked evil
I’m looking for anyone who’s interested in me rather than something I have, unlike the last guy. Also if you’re the type who likes to tie their girlfriends up, that’s not happening - I had a bad experience once. (If you want to be tied up that’s fine.)
Hobbies: Anything but potholing.
First date: Not sure, but not a movie or dinner. I’m pretty much done with sitting still.
Turn-ons: I love the sunshine, and especially killing people in sunshine. RELEASE ME! Turn-offs: Acrobats