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Post by Flesh Grub on Jul 10, 2021 8:05:43 GMT
On the 12th day of Christmas 2,020, my True Love gave to me
12 drummers drumming
11 pipers piping
10 lords a leaping
9 ladies dancing
8 maids a milking
7 swans a swimming
6 geese a laying
5 go-old rii-iings
4 calling birds
3 french hens
2 turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear treeeee.
What do you think, did she do the right thing?
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Post by jmisbest on Jul 10, 2021 8:32:51 GMT
On the 12th day of Christmas 2,020, my True Love gave to me 12 drummers drumming 11 pipers piping 10 lords a leaping 9 ladies dancing 8 maids a milking 7 swans a swimming 6 geese a laying 5 go-old rii-iings 4 calling birds 3 french hens 2 turtle doves And a partridge in a pear treeeee. What do you think, did she do the right thing? What do I think?. What the hell have you been drinking to think its a good idea to post the lyrics to a song as bad as that 1 on a site as great as this 1? I hope I didn't unintentionally break any rules, but the guy did say what do you think and I decided to put my exact thoughts
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Post by a moderator on Jul 10, 2021 11:32:10 GMT
Impossible to answer without more details of the in-game advantages and drawbacks provided by these companions/pets/items. If those rings are magical, they could have a serious imbalancing effect.
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sylas
Baron
"Don't just adventure for treasure; treasure the adventure!"
Posts: 1,678
Favourite Gamebook Series: Fighting Fantasy, Way of the Tiger
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Post by sylas on Jul 10, 2021 20:46:57 GMT
Nah. Too many opponents.
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Post by dragonwarrior8 on Jul 12, 2021 23:00:17 GMT
Strange post for July but I always preferred the Bob and Doug McKenzie Canadian version:
8 comic books 7 packs of smokes 6 packs of two-four 5 gooolden toques 4 pounds of backbacon 3 french toast 2 turtlenecks and a beer....in a tree!
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Post by Charles X. on Jul 21, 2021 22:44:44 GMT
Is no one else going to point out this is prize-winningly irrelevant to this site?! Flesh Grub must be a troll.
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Post by The Count on Jul 21, 2021 23:16:47 GMT
Thats 32* provisions, and presumably the loud instrumentalists, dancing girls and prancers can be used as a distraction / cannon fodder / lucrative slave trade deals. So much better than a ball of twine, 3 brass buttons, a broken stick and fossilised badger poo that inexplicably looks like the number 47
*Assuming milking isn't a euphemism, otherwise said slave trade becomes really dark...
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Post by Charles X. on Jul 21, 2021 23:23:26 GMT
Thats 32* provisions, and presumably the loud instrumentalists, dancing girls and prancers can be used as a distraction / cannon fodder / lucrative slave trade deals. So much better than a ball of twine, 3 brass buttons, a broken stick and fossilised badger poo that inexplicably looks like the number 47 *Assuming milking isn't a euphemism, otherwise said slave trade becomes really dark... Hadn't thought about it that way * hands over prize*.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Jul 22, 2021 1:53:18 GMT
On the 12th day of Christmas 2,020, my True Love gave to me 12 drummers drumming 11 pipers piping 10 lords a leaping 9 ladies dancing 8 maids a milking 7 swans a swimming 6 geese a laying 5 go-old rii-iings 4 calling birds 3 french hens 2 turtle doves And a partridge in a pear treeeee. What do you think, did she do the right thing? Seems pretty clear to me that your true love is hinting that you should be assembling an army to conquer somewhere. Eight milk maids is an interesting one. It implies taking a large number of dairy cattle and using them as a major source of sustenance. Not sure the beasts will stand for travelling hundreds of miles, but perhaps it's fair enough for a local siege. Given that the rest of the food will be eggs, a very limited source of bird meat and a frankly unsustainable source of fruit, more thinking needs to be done.
We need more information about a couple of the others. I'm going to assume that the leaping lords referred to are knights skilled in karumijutsu or similar, who might be useful in getting over moats or clambering over tricky obstacles. But the dancing ladies... are we thinking weird sisters performing rituals to summon demons and dark forces, or just prostitutes to reduce desertion by (male) soldiers?
As a sidenote, call this intuition or speculation or whatever you like, but I'll happily bet anyone a couple of gold rings that that pear tree is cursed.
Is your true love still in a giving vein? If so, maybe try dropping a few hints about mounted mammoths – thirteen of those babies would really give an invading army some bite.
Anyway I'm going to stop there before I start overthinking this.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Jul 22, 2021 1:55:15 GMT
Incidentally, I'd completely forgotten that I did a parody of this song, as well as a slightly cleverer one on We Three Kings. I'm therefore using this as tenuous justification for linking back to them, for anyone who hasn't seen them before and/or feels bereft of Christmas-themed parodies in July.
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Post by Flesh Grub on Jul 22, 2021 17:08:36 GMT
As to what Ive been drinking its the milk that the maids were A milking until the ladies dancing slipped in all the birdshit that is now all over the floor and i haven't been arsed to clear up, and they crashed into the buckets and knocked them over. Their are 5 rings and they are as follows the 1st 1 is A ring of fire costing 2765 gold pieces with a 72.3% chance of working at any given time, A ring of ice costing 71999 gold pieces with A 71.999% chance of working on Tuesday evenings but 50% chance otherwise plus A Ring of Swordsmanship which adds 52 to attack strength and costs a copper piece. A ring of mind control that costs a billion gold pieces and can control any number of living sentient being’s for a million years and lastly A Ring of Confusion which i am permanently wearing and cannot take off. Ever.
The drummers drumming are skill 7 stamina 8 and have a 12.5% chance of causing headaches to enemy’s making them lose 3 skill points in combat. The lords A leaping are skill 8 stamina 10 and can jump over any walls lower than 100 meters The pipers piping are skill 6 stamina 12 and can control all rodents within hearing distance of the pipes The ladies dancing are only skill 5 stamina 15 but are so hard to hit that only magic weapons can hit them The maids A milking are skill 6 stamina 18 and have double attack’s as they swing there 2 iron milk buckets in each hand and can drink the milk adding 2 stamina points each time they do it to a maximum of 6 stamina points per day The swans A swimming are skill 12 stamina 24 and each successful strike of theirs has a 22.566% chance of breaking the opponents’ arm The geese a laying are skill 24 stamina 12 and theyre eggs have a 150.2% chance of hatching into a golden dragon which then goes out of control for d6 x d6 attack rounds The calling birds are skill 18 stamina 1 and will make endless telephonecalls to their relatives if not deprived of their mobile phones The french hens are skill 3 stamina 10 and are excellent cooks adding +1 luck point to their friends luck score and are always on hand to provide a platter of delicious cheeses or to sacrifice themselves in a roast sunday dinner for 4 stamina points of benefit. The turtle doves are skill 9 stamina 800 and have hard carapaces halving damage sustained unless by crushing weapons like maces or nutcrackers. And the partridge in A Pear tree is skill 82 stamina 83 but will recklessly cross a road on A dice throw of 1,2,3,4,5 or 6 and get run over by a car. To get these goodies I rolled a ‘00’ on a D100 ninetynine times in a row followed by getting A 9 dart finish on a dartboard when blindfolded, followed by winning the Euromillions jackpot during an eclipse.
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Post by stevendoig on Jul 22, 2021 17:56:23 GMT
Sorry, turtle doves definitely have a higher skill than wot you said.
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Post by daredevil123 on Jul 22, 2021 18:13:57 GMT
I think the Ring of Swordsmanship is underpowered because you could still be defeated by the Skill 400 Stamina 800 Demon Horde from The Gates of Death. I'm designing an AFF character who has a Headband of Courage which adds a googolplex to Attack Strength and allows the wearer to create alternate universes under their permanent control with but a thought.
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Post by a moderator on Jul 22, 2021 18:16:46 GMT
Sorry, turtle doves definitely have a higher skill than wot you said. Surely it depends which world they come from. Sure, Turtle Doves native to Titan have double-figure Skill scores, but the Turtle Doves in Orb almost never rise above 9 Skill.
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Post by a moderator on Jul 22, 2021 18:48:49 GMT
I'm designing an AFF character who has a Headband of Courage which adds a googolplex to Attack Strength That would make combat too linear. It should only allow the player to use 1dgoogolplex instead of 2d6 when rolling for Attack Strength. Even that's not ideal - rolling two half-googolplex-sided dice would produce a more balanced curve, but hardly anywhere sells that kind any more.
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Post by bloodbeasthandler on Jul 22, 2021 19:47:04 GMT
Sorry, turtle doves definitely have a higher skill than wot you said. Surely it depends which world they come from. Sure, Turtle Doves native to Titan have double-figure Skill scores, but the Turtle Doves in Orb almost never rise above 9 Skill. In your ways, you are both right. But in all honesty I can safely say that the SKILL score of the turtledoves in this post is the most far-fetched thing on these boards. Utterly absurd. Sorry Flesh Grub but you need to do your research and come back with something a bit more sensible.
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Jul 22, 2021 23:18:22 GMT
Are we talking a laden or unladen Turtle Dove?
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Post by The Count on Jul 23, 2021 12:29:07 GMT
This still leaves too many unanswered questions:
Is it deemed lucky or unlucky to be hit by the errant droppings of the various birds?
Are the milking maids fully trained in and compliant with current Health & Safety legislation?
Do the French Hens have a penchant for surrendering?
Where is pear tree planted?
What type of pears does the pear tree yield? I suspect it is the Conference pear, though a Bosc pear would be better for poaching. if the tree is planted in Anal.and, it is clearly a Worcester pear.
Is the partridge an overrated allegedly comical character invented by an overrated alleged comedian?
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