NEW. City of Light (My gamebook) WIP. Feedback appreciated.
Nov 21, 2021 8:02:11 GMT
aggsol likes this
Post by azrael on Nov 21, 2021 8:02:11 GMT
Hi guys, I'm new here and have recently been rewriting a gamebook I started when I was a kid. Currently I'm planning on it hitting 1000 references. I wanted to make it a bit of a longer form adventure where I could spend multiple nights on it, similar to a good strategy game that takes some time.
At the moment I'm sitting at 81 references (which represents one of three paths you can take in the early game, this "right hand" path is now fully written, and it has a whole bunch of encounters)
I wanted to get some preliminary feedback on my writing style, the story itself, encounters, fights, items etc.
I am trying to build a more detailed environment and better characters than traditional fighting fantasy, so a lot of passages can run a bit long. Please give some feedback on that, and if I've accomplished what I'm trying to achieve with them.
Some unique aspects of my book are/will be no unfair insta deaths, this is not a methodical annoying maze you have to navigate, it's an adventure you are supposed to get invested into, deaths will come from mismanaging your health, and on rare occasion, being 10 IQ points south of stupid.
Each path will be equally viable (some better for some classes etc.) so I will not be punishing people for exploring. This also means that finishing the adventure will not be gated by items.
To compensate for this there will be multiple endings (Referring to true endings, in the style of Witcher 3, mass effect and other games with multiple endings.) There will be an ideal ending, in between ones and a bad (Although I'm getting some cool ideas for the bad ending that might make it appealing)
There will be persistent locations throughout the city. For example on day 1 you can visit the Emporium, progress through the 1st quarter of the city and sleep for the night. On day 2 you'll be given the option to visit previous key locations (though you will not be able to explore the rest of those streets. On day 2 there may be some new items, people if you had previous interactions with people they will remember it etc. Not implemented yet as I've only done right quarter 1, but in the future: Persistent locations and persistent characters, (you can get characters you like killed too).
There isn't yet an intro (I have thought of one but not written it) for now synopsis is your character is a young adult 19 years old, he is running from something in his past and is starting a new life in the City of Light.
As I have not included rules in the doc yet here they are:
You have 5 Stats (including their starting values:)
Skill (6) Stamina (12) Luck (8)
Mana (6): Used to cast spells and special abilities
Wit (6): Used for tests that require intelligence, smooth talking, very important for rogues.
Roll one die, add that result to 10. This is how many stat points you can allocate as you see fit. There are some initial caps to certain stats however.
Skill Cap (10)
Luck Cap (10)
Other than that you can spend points as you like.
Pick a class:
Fighter - standard you all know how it works. (recommended stats= Skill, Stamina, Luck)
Mage - Pick 2 spells from the spell book at the back. You can cast these as you wish within their limitations) (Recommended stats= Skill, Luck, Mana)
Rogue - Similar to warrior for now. (Recommended stats= Skill, Luck, Wit)
YOU START WITH 40 GOLD and 2 PROVISIONS
Combat:
I intend on having slightly different rules for ranged combat, BUT for now, compare skill as normal. ONLY DEDCT MANA IF YOU WIN A COMBAT ROUND.
Some fights will involve fear, but those individual fights will mention the mechanics.
THE STRENGTH value for enemies is how much damage they deal if they land a hit. ARMOUR is simple, deduct the amount of armour from damage dealt. so 3 damage minus 1 armour = 2 total damage. CRITICAL HITS (combat luck rolls) ignore armour. DONT BE AFRAID OF USING LUCK, there will be plenty of ways for restoring it in the game, and the game won't insta kill you for losing luck rolls (there will still be consequences though).
That's it for now. Please try to only read passages highlighted in yellow. Everything else was written when I was 12/13, it's rather embarrassing, I'm a much better writer now. The yellow is what I have rewritten and is currently complete.
The GAMEBOOK: link
At the moment I'm sitting at 81 references (which represents one of three paths you can take in the early game, this "right hand" path is now fully written, and it has a whole bunch of encounters)
I wanted to get some preliminary feedback on my writing style, the story itself, encounters, fights, items etc.
I am trying to build a more detailed environment and better characters than traditional fighting fantasy, so a lot of passages can run a bit long. Please give some feedback on that, and if I've accomplished what I'm trying to achieve with them.
Some unique aspects of my book are/will be no unfair insta deaths, this is not a methodical annoying maze you have to navigate, it's an adventure you are supposed to get invested into, deaths will come from mismanaging your health, and on rare occasion, being 10 IQ points south of stupid.
Each path will be equally viable (some better for some classes etc.) so I will not be punishing people for exploring. This also means that finishing the adventure will not be gated by items.
To compensate for this there will be multiple endings (Referring to true endings, in the style of Witcher 3, mass effect and other games with multiple endings.) There will be an ideal ending, in between ones and a bad (Although I'm getting some cool ideas for the bad ending that might make it appealing)
There will be persistent locations throughout the city. For example on day 1 you can visit the Emporium, progress through the 1st quarter of the city and sleep for the night. On day 2 you'll be given the option to visit previous key locations (though you will not be able to explore the rest of those streets. On day 2 there may be some new items, people if you had previous interactions with people they will remember it etc. Not implemented yet as I've only done right quarter 1, but in the future: Persistent locations and persistent characters, (you can get characters you like killed too).
There isn't yet an intro (I have thought of one but not written it) for now synopsis is your character is a young adult 19 years old, he is running from something in his past and is starting a new life in the City of Light.
As I have not included rules in the doc yet here they are:
You have 5 Stats (including their starting values:)
Skill (6) Stamina (12) Luck (8)
Mana (6): Used to cast spells and special abilities
Wit (6): Used for tests that require intelligence, smooth talking, very important for rogues.
Roll one die, add that result to 10. This is how many stat points you can allocate as you see fit. There are some initial caps to certain stats however.
Skill Cap (10)
Luck Cap (10)
Other than that you can spend points as you like.
Pick a class:
Fighter - standard you all know how it works. (recommended stats= Skill, Stamina, Luck)
Mage - Pick 2 spells from the spell book at the back. You can cast these as you wish within their limitations) (Recommended stats= Skill, Luck, Mana)
Rogue - Similar to warrior for now. (Recommended stats= Skill, Luck, Wit)
YOU START WITH 40 GOLD and 2 PROVISIONS
Combat:
I intend on having slightly different rules for ranged combat, BUT for now, compare skill as normal. ONLY DEDCT MANA IF YOU WIN A COMBAT ROUND.
Some fights will involve fear, but those individual fights will mention the mechanics.
THE STRENGTH value for enemies is how much damage they deal if they land a hit. ARMOUR is simple, deduct the amount of armour from damage dealt. so 3 damage minus 1 armour = 2 total damage. CRITICAL HITS (combat luck rolls) ignore armour. DONT BE AFRAID OF USING LUCK, there will be plenty of ways for restoring it in the game, and the game won't insta kill you for losing luck rolls (there will still be consequences though).
That's it for now. Please try to only read passages highlighted in yellow. Everything else was written when I was 12/13, it's rather embarrassing, I'm a much better writer now. The yellow is what I have rewritten and is currently complete.
The GAMEBOOK: link