Post by thealmightymudworm on Dec 31, 2014 4:52:54 GMT
Well ****.
I really, really meant this to be finished ready for Christmas but I simply failed. Still, it’s not twelfth night until 5th January and I’m b***ered if i’m going to wait another 350-odd days to post it. So if you’re busy giving your true love evil looks because so far they’ve only given you a few gold rings and some wildfowl, perhaps you could do this instead.
It’s a rather odd mix of silly jokes with long-winded descriptions and unnecessarily complex mechanics, but hopefully some will like it. Feedback gratefully received (unless, you know, it's brutal).
Anyway, Happy New Year to all forum regulars and returners: deadshadowrunner, tammy, sylas, champskees, hyreck, Alex, greenspine, paltogue, kieran, nathanh, fallingmast and the rest.
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Roll for Skill, Stamina & Luck as usual. You must also keep track of your Comfort and Joy points (starting on zero) which mark how well you are acting in the spirit of the season as it exists near you. You are aiming to maximise these, not just survive until the end. Unless otherwise specified, Rudolph can be restored by the same food and drink you can.
Your equipment consists of a sword, a bow and five arrows, and some presents. No provisions.
Introduction:
It is the night before the midwinter festival and you are readying yourself to deliver gifts to well-aligned children in the village of Icecrak.
The coming of Xander the Benevolent is expected and must come to pass. But of course you are not the real Xander - this year he has been unfortunately laid low with gout. Now it falls to you and your fellow elves to do the job.
Perhaps your whole life has been building up to this moment. The shame of woodland poverty forcing you to become a thief and learn all the ways, both dextrous and magical, to enter a house uninvited - before your benevolent kidnapping at the hands of your boss. For five years you have been applying your elven arts and crafts skills to the creation of gifts for the deserving at the cave complex known as The Claw (after the sharp overhanging rock feature at the entrance). But your skilful fingers remembered carving and drawing your longbow and you yearned for adventure.
Now you have a sackful of good presents and a mapped list of the village homes. You have donned the Beard of Judgment which bristles in the presence of naughtiness. You considered armour, but have decided to rely on the scraps of metal sewn into your terrifying blood-red garb. They will suffice to make some blows glance off but not slow you if you need a burst of speed, nor prevent your big fat belly accommodating a few more pies. With your finely balanced elven sword and hand-crafted bow to hand for emergencies, there is but one more thing to do: select a ride.
Your fellow elves have already laid claim to Prancer, the only winged reindeer agile enough to somersault, and Blitzen, who moves like lightning. But you have Rudolph, the fire-snouted steed. Worthy of a god, he is not pure-bred reindeer as his great-grandmother had a tryst with a dragon, and he can still snort little puffs of flame, whilst his antlers can fell oak trees. Rudolph’s eyes gleam in anticipation of the night ahead as you advance towards him and his snout glows red hot.
Xander’s coming to town.
1
You swoop in on Rudolph towards four dwellings you have on your list. There is a little moonlight, but no torches set out for general light in the village. The main source of illumination is Rudolph’s nose, and the little puffs of flame reflected off thick snow give a threatening glow to everything.
The first house is a little way away from the others so you had better try that first. Rudolph alights on the snow-clad thick thatched building. Finding the chimney warm, you restore feeling to your hands and think about the best way into the place.
You know that the chimney leads down into the room of the girl you are to visit, but also that there is a window into it down the side of the house. Both are large enough for you to fit through.
Will you…
Scramble down the chimney? Turn to 7
Enter through the window? Turn to 18
2
You open the door onto the landing. At the far end is an open window through which you see a boot disappearing. You rush towards the figure as they slam the window shut - and catch a glimpse of a sinister looking character in garb similar to your own - but by the time you have the window open they are already hurtling skyward on an unspeakably monstrous creature.
Now that the window is open you can see a footprint on the frame with traces of what appears to be coal. Make a note that if you see the word ‘coal’ again you have the option of investigating further by deducting 5 from your current reference.
You return to the room to talk to the girl. Turn to 32.
3
You hold tight onto one end of the cylinder, but you have not yet grasped how these artefacts are to be controlled. With a sharp yet graceful move your enemy draws his end a yard past his right hand side causing it to split near you.
A sound like thunder rings out, and suddenly all parts of the tube vanish into a glow like sunlight. But now the fiend is holding a scroll, and evil glee is written across his face. He begins to recite a spell-riddle from it:
“My dog has no nose. How does he smell? TERRIBLE.”
The scroll erupts into flame and a large creature leaps seemingly from it. It resembles a full-grown mastiff except for a series of slits along its body akin to a fish’s gills in reverse. Also it does indeed have no snout but only room for extra, tusk-like teeth at the front. As it nears you, snarling, all the flaps open and a yellowish gas is blasted at you, causing you to gag. The STENCH HOUND will prove a dangerous foe.
STENCH HOUND SKILL 7 STAMINA 6
The gas causes you to lose 1 Stamina point every round and fight with a 1 point Attack Strength penalty unless you have a jar of cinnamon sticks in which case you can discount this.
If you win, turn to 48.
4
You suddenly remember the coal footprint in Esmerelda’s house and you wonder whether the source of the coal for the snowman is the same one. There are unlikely to be many coal bunkers around with woodland so close.
You back out of the side passage and scan the back yard again. Sure enough, in the gloom you can make out a large metal container with dark smudges on the ground all around it. Gesturing to Rudolph, you approach it cautiously.
As you near it, you hear a muffled squelching and crunching from behind the bunker, and the container itself seems to be teeming with hissing snakes.
You creep round the dome of metal - and confront a dark elf dressed in a similar costume to your own! His costume is a sort of maroon colour but otherwise just the same as yours. Alongside him, a great beast munches on some bloody mess. It has a great lion’s body with huge claws, plus dark wings and a terrifying scorpion’s tail.
On seeing you, your doppelgänger grabs his sack and leaps onto the back of the manticore behind its wings. The beast turns and lashes once in your general direction with its tail - it seems to have been trained to avoid its rider - and then bounds into the air. An arrow thwacks into the ground at your feet a few moments later.
Will you give chase with bow and sword? If so, turn to 39.
Alternatively you may
Return to examine the snowman? Turn to to 56
Hurry into the house? Turn to 21
5
You take a few paces towards the boy …and a great weight of snow drops from the ceiling, clouting you on the head. This is hard, dense-packed snow - almost like wood - suitable for making the strange semi-spherical huts that some frost-bitten tribes craft. Deduct 4 Stamina points and 1 Skill point as the cold numbs your muscles.
By the time you’ve managed to get back to your feet, the boy has locked himself inside the cupboard with its thick oak door and is laughing at you. You hammer on the door with the pommel of your sword but as Grint has correctly calculated it just won’t be worth your while.
You must go to one of the other locations:
The underground home (if you haven’t been here before) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
6
The subterranean home of the child known as Dassador lies on the edge of woodland with a hut covering the small entrance. Rudolph sets you down within twenty paces of it. You begin to walk in the hut’s direction and then you hear a rustling sound from nearby.
Will you
Investigate on Rudolph? Turn to 25
Investigate alone? Turn to 13
Scamper into the hut? Turn to 42
7
You scoot down the stack and land in the roaring fireplace. The searing pain is unbearable, but you tumble out into the room quickly enough and pat out the flames. Deduct 3 Stamina points.
Something else is bothering you just as much as the burns: your beard is itching to warn you of naughtiness in the vicinity. Could the girl have switched alignment since last year?
She is already standing next to the bed dressed in a thick red nightgown and stares at you in seeming bewilderment. She glances at the door, then you again, then the door. The large bed has a traditional hook-ended gift-receiving bag at the end which seems quite chunky already.
Will you….
Open the bedroom door? Turn to 2
Interrogate the girl? Turn to 32
Examine the bag? Turn to 54
Leave (as you don’t give gifts to naughty children)? Turn to 55
8
You step through the door into a kind of dining hall. There is light only from a dozen candles on a square wooden table before you, with sides of about 10 paces in length.
On the far side of the table is a humanoid who is at least an arm’s length taller than you. He wears similar garb to you, but in black. You cannot clearly see his face, but you think you detect a green tinge to his skin. On the table are three long cylinders, each of a single bright colour, which stretch from one side to the other.
“Well, well, well,” the fiend muses in a mocking tone, “we have been a busy delivery boy, haven’t we?”
As he speaks, he rises slowly from his chair and places his hands one at a time on the table, like a cat preparing to pounce.
“I’m a little surprised that you made it past all the little pitfalls I’d arranged - assuming that you’ve been staying true to your duties of course.
”But now it is time for this to end. As you can see the devices are laid out ready…” You instinctively reach for the nearest one but find your hand blocked by an invisible barrier.
“But I see that you are mystified. How amusing. These are sorcerer’s duelling devices. Once the combatants are ready you must sense the …moment.” He grabs one end of the first cylinder and you grab the other.
The fiend has an initial and current Luck score of 10.
Take turns to Test your Luck starting with yourself. After you have tested three times and the fiend has tested twice, the loser is the one who has failed the most times.
If the number of failures is equal, the first to fail has lost, and if neither of you has failed you must continue to take turns testing until somebody fails.
Note that the breaking of a device restores both combatants’ Luck scores to their initial levels.
If you won turn to 53
If you lost turn to 3
9
You circle the house on Rudolph a few dozen cubits from the ground before landing. The windows are mostly tiny and the front door is too conspicuous. There is a back door, but to your great surprise neither your picking skills nor even your magic have any effect on the lock.
Fortunately there is a little side door in the house, slightly ajar, next to a full-sized snowman with a tall dark hat, coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose.
Will you…
Inspect the snowman? Turn to 56
Hurry indoors? Turn to 21
10
You pass into a dining room with a long oak table and several chairs to match. The table is not set for a meal, but there is a huge, brown, spherical pudding in the centre. It would be too big to put your arms round.
While you are peering at the pudding, a flame suddenly appears on top of it and rapidly begins to spread over the top and down the sides.
Will you…
Hurry through to the next room? Turn to 36
Wait and watch? Turn to 15
Throw brandy on it? Turn 17
11
As you charge across the floor towards Grint you feel a slight tug on your ankle.
Test your Luck…
If you are Lucky, turn to 34
If you are Unlucky, turn to 5
12
You open the door to the right-hand kitchen and are immediately assailed by welcome smells …and unwelcome sights. The room is filled with an outsized celebration dinner, all of which seems to twitch in a most unnatural way as soon as you enter.
There is a golden roasted bird of some kind, about the size of a sabre-toothed tiger; roasted potatoes like boulders; some green, vegetable spheres the size of your head; a pouring-dish filled with gravy like a cattle trough and so much more…
Will you try to pass through to the door opposite? Turn to 46
Or, if you have not already done so, you could climb the stairs (turn to 29) or try the other kitchen (turn to 40).
13
Leaving Rudolph in an open space, you creep around the shed straining to see anything moving in the darkness. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in the area. You focus you attention on a little cluster of conical pine trees no taller than you…
Suddenly your flesh crawls. One of the trees is extending out some of its branches - unfolding them like a spider and using them to stalk towards you with surprising speed!
You have no choice but to defend yourself.
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into the face of its opponent and then whipping them with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces your Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack is as normal.
If you win, turn to 41.
14
Dassador looks astonished when you raise your sword to him. He simply flings his hot cooking tongs in your face (deduct 3 Stamina points) and rushes back through the door. This is made from thick wood and you cannot open it. You notice that your beard is itchier closer to the door.
There is nothing of value in the place except for the chestnuts and these are too hot to touch so you had better leave.
If you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
15
You watch as the pudding becomes covered in an intense storm of flames. Suddenly it explodes, a brick-sized lump knocking you on the back of your head. Worse, the burning lump sticks to your chest and you are in agony until you can scrape it off and hold the cold flat of your sword against it. Deduct 4 Stamina points.
When you have gathered yourself, you stagger into the next room. Turn to 44.
16
You are flying home. But have you acted in a fashion worthy of the name of Xander of the Claw?
If you have you amassed…
145-155 points turn to 38
115-140 points turn to 31
85-110 points turn to 60
80 or fewer, turn to 59
17
You step forward and fling some of the brandy towards the intensely flaming pudding. The result is an instantaneous explosion which blasts you against the wall hard enough for you to black out. Your last experience is noticing that burning pudding is stuck to your clothes.
18
Rudolph lowers you to the vicinity of the iron-clad window. It is locked, but a puny hinderance which you have open in no time. Before you clamber in, you notice a few icicles hanging from the sill have a pleasing length, solidity and sharpness to them. You may break them off if you like (if you do, roll one die and add that number to your Adventure Sheet).
You enter the room easily, but your beard is itching to warn you of naughtiness in the vicinity. Could the girl have switched alignment since last year?
She is already standing next to the bed dressed in a thick red nightgown and stares at you in seeming bewilderment. She glances at the door, then you again, then the door. The large bed has a traditional hook-ended gift-receiving bag at the end which seems quite chunky already.
Will you….
Open the bedroom door? Turn to 2
Interrogate the girl? Turn to 32
Examine the bag? Turn to 54
Leave (as you don’t give gifts to naughty children)? Turn to 55
19
Grint offers grudging thanks as you pass him the bottle. He winces as he takes a gulp, but colour starts to return to his cheeks.
“I’m sorry about the trap.” he adds at length. “Someone told me it would be funny, but it doesn’t feel funny. I’ll be good from now on.”
You bid him farewell, noting with satisfaction the power of brandy to save a child from naughtiness. Add 25 Comfort & Joy points.
You must go to one of the other locations:
Underground home (if you haven’t been here before)) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
20
This is tricky. Even Rudolph will be tested by the manticore.
RUDOLPH SKILL 10 STAMINA 18 (unless he has lost Stamina before)
MANTICORE SKILL 11 STAMINA 20
At any time you may escape back to the choices at 9.
If Rudolph wins a round against the Manticore you get to fight a round with the dark elf. If you defeat the elf turn to 33. Likewise if Rudolph reduces the Manticore’s Stamina to 5 or fewer, it will shake its rider off and fly away which achieves the same result (turn to 33). Rudolph won’t shake you loose but you will die if he does.
21
The moment you take your eyes off the ‘snowman’ it tackles you, knocking you to the ground. Icy cold shoots into you. Deduct 2 Stamina points. Also fight this battle with a 1 point penalty to your Attack Strength as your opponent is striking down on you with slow but heavy strokes.
SNOWMAN SKILL 7 STAMINA 15
If you win, turn to 37.
22
You reach for the third device. There is something different about this one and you sense that it will not break easily.
Conduct this like a battle (using Luck in place of Skill for Attack Strength) to see who is exhausted first by the challenge.
ENCHANTER OF NAUGHTINESS LUCK 10 STAMINA 12 (don’t forget to make any modifications to this)
If the fiend’s Stamina is already 0 or below, he just sits slumped in a pool of blood helplessly watching you grab the device and you win automatically.
If you win turn to 51
If you lose turn to 61
23
Esmerelda’s eyes light up when she sees the unicorn. “Oh he’s beautiful! I shall call him Fluffyspikes. He’ll help protect me if anyone like that fake visitor comes again.”
The unicorn, to your surprise, furrows its brows and brandishes its horn as if it understands and is ready for the job. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
“Oh, and I have a gift for you too!” Esmerelda exclaims and draws a flask from under the bed. “It is the finest brandy I have ever distilled.” she says proudly in her flute-like voice. Note three doses of brandy (each of which restores 3 Stamina points) on your Adventure Sheet.
Turn to 55
24
You take out the little bag of chestnuts. They are still as hot as a branding iron and you cannot hold them long even with your gloves on. But each one you fling pierces the being’s snowy body and water flows from where it lodges like blood from a sword wound.
For each one you throw, roll 1 die and add 1 for the number of Stamina points of damage you cause.
If you run out of chestnuts (or don’t wish to use any more) before defeating the snowman, return to 56 to finish him off.
If you win, turn to 37
25
You mosey around the shed on Rudolph. The light is better with him around for one thing. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in the area. You focus you attention on a little cluster of conical pine trees no taller than you…
Suddenly your flesh crawls. One of the trees is extending out some of its branches - unfolding them like a spider and using them to stalk towards you with surprising speed! You shift uneasily back in your seat…
Rudolph however is undaunted and attacks immediately.
RUDOLPH SKILL 10 STAMINA 18 (assuming he has not been injured before)
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into the face of its opponent and then whipping them with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces the opponent’s Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack is as normal.
Rudolph attacks with his antlers, but if he wins a round, roll another die: he causes an extra 1, 2 or 3 points of damage on 4, 5 or 6 with a short jet of flame charring the tree.
If Rudolph dies you cannot complete your mission.
If Rudolph wins, make a note of any damage to him, then turn to 41.
26
As you approach the bag there is a sharp move from it and a snake lashes out at you with amazing speed. It’s probably the second fastest thing you’ve ever seen.
The fastest thing you’ve ever seen is the unicorn’s reaction. It launches from your hand with some force and perfectly skewers the snake’s head to the bedpost. The snake flicks its body feebly for a few moments before a bolt of energy crackles from the unicorn’s horn and finishes it off. The little pink creature detaches itself from the post with a sharp tug before tossing the snake’s body into the air, catching it in its mouth and starting to crunch it.
Esmerelda is delighted.
“I shall call him ‘Fluffyspikes’!” she cries and flings her arms around him. Fluffyspikes’s huge eyes gleam as it nestles against her with snake’s blood dribbling from its jaw. You remember that unicorns need to drink a lot of blood to maintain the sunset-pink tinge of their coats. Add 30 Comfort and Joy points.
“Oh, and I have a gift for you too!” Esmerelda exclaims and draws a flask from under the bed. “It is the finest brandy I have ever distilled.” she says proudly in her flute-like voice. Note three doses of brandy (each of which restores 3 Stamina points) on your Adventure Sheet.
Turn to 55.
27
You strum the string of your bow as you enter the room and the twitching of the various foods quietens. As soon as everything is motionless you scamper round taken mouthfuls of as many things as possible. Restore 4 Stamina points.
You dive for the door handle as some things start moving again.
Turn to 8
28
A pine branch sweeps clumsily across your throat and you duck out of the way just in time. Lose 1 Stamina point. You wheel round just in time to fight back against a creepily mobile pine tree
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into your face and then whipping you with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces the opponent’s Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack works as normal.
If you win, turn to 41.
29
As soon as you reach the top of the stairs you hear a muffled call for help from a nearby room. Kicking the door open you find Aloysius pinned to the floor, tied down with decorations made from chains of coloured paper and lengths of shiny coloured fluff which writhe of their own accord and seem to have descended from where they were placed on the walls.
Though these have been thickened by some sorcery to make them much stronger than they were, they are no match for a free swing of your sword and you set about them earnestly. The boy struggles free whilst a few strands are feebly lunging at you. He thanks you warmly and you present him with his gift of levitation boots. Add 20 Comfort & Joy points.
“I’m sorry that I have nothing to hand you in return.” Aloysius replies, “But perhaps I have something useful to tell you. The whole house has been taken over by an Enchanter of Naughtiness - it was he that trapped me here. He would not usually show his face on this night, but he knows that you lack experience, and he believes he can defeat you. Indeed he thought you would have been killed off before now by some of his meddling or that of his minions.”
You grind your teeth.
“He has conjured a variety of demons and spirits into all kinds of things to animate them.” Aloysius continues, “He used musical charms, and once I saw him cancel the charm on some food. He took out a cord and strummed it to give a constant drone and it returned for a while to its state. He even took a mouthful to stop it returning.”
This is a useful tip indeed! Can you think of any item you’re carrying which you could strum to produce a constant note? If so, taking letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), make a note that as soon as you encounter moving food you should add the second letter of that item to your current paragraph. (So if you were on paragraph 40 and using a string you would turn to 40 + T (which is 20), which is 60.)
Returning to the hallway,
Will you:
Take the door on the left? Turn to 40
Take the door on the right? Turn to 12
30
Dassador looks a little surprised and disappointed, but bids you farewell.
If you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
31
Looking back over the houses of Icecrak you feel a degree of satisfaction. You had a difficult and dangerous mission, and you have not only survived but done well for those of the Nice alignment.
Yet you can’t help feeling a niggle in the back of your mind; a sense of having missed something. Did you fail to confront an enemy? Or treat the children of the village with something short of the perfect fairness and generosity that Xander’s reputation demands?
Ah well, for now it is time enjoy your leisure. Perhaps you will do still better next year.
32
“But Xander of the Claw was just here!” exclaims the girl who hesitates before introducing herself as Esmerelda, “I woke up just before he left and you arrived”. You stare back at her and shake your head. She even goes to check the landing, but by now her other visitor is long gone.
For a moment you wonder how this can be resolved, but as the itch in your beard is rapidly fading you decide simply to give her her present: It is a baby unicorn with big eyes, glossy pink hair and a horn with all the colours of the rainbow. It is just about small enough for you to carry it standing in one of your hands.
Will you…
Simply gives it to the girl? Turn to 23
Place it gently in the gift-receiving bag (as is traditional?) Turn to 26
33
The dark elf plummets to the ground with a thump. You have defeated a powerful Minion of Naughtiness. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
You fly down with Rudolph to inspect the remains of the impostor. He carries a pouch containing two warm pies which contain sugared dried fruit. Each will restore 4 Stamina points. There is also a shiny green disk - a Twist of Fate talisman! This will allow you to reverse a failed Test of your Luck on two occasions.
Return to the choices at 9.
34
You stumble over the tripwire which you immediately realise must have been set by Grint and narrowly avoid being clouted by a great weight of snow which lands immediately behind you with some force. Grint utters a foul curse unsuited to his years and dives into the cupboard, which he locks behind him.
It isn’t worth your while beating the door down. Add 5 Comfort and Joy points, as at least you didn’t fall victim to a trap of naughtiness.
You must go to one of the other locations:
Underground home (if you haven’t been here before)) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
35
As you approached it, the tureen had started to judder slightly on the stove. Now in a sudden spurt the entire contents of the tureen leap out and gather into a moving, dripping mess, taller than you would have imagined possible. It reminds you of Bog Monsters made from living mud - one moment it seems humanoid, the next shapeless.
NOG MONSTER SKILL 6 STAMINA 20
It lurches clumsily but the living liquid ‘heals’ when you strike it so that you seem to need to sprinkle it over the whole room.
If you win, you continue through the far door. Turn to 8
36
You just narrowly squeak through the far door in time as the pudding explodes with some force. Indeed the door which opens towards you blocks a big lump of flaming material. The judder sent through the door suggests it was extremely heavy. Fortunately the room doesn’t seem to have caught fire.
Turn to 44.
37
Your repeated blows leave the snowman struggling to move. Remembering a story about an accursed hat, you take your chance and knock his off. Immediately the snow slumps. Taking no chances you tear the hat in half, kick the snow flat and munch the carrot (regain 1 Stamina point).
Turn to 10
38
...aka 400.
The sun begins to rise and bathes Icecrak in golden light. The place where the minion fell is already covered in snow. You survey the homes of Aloysius, Dassador, Esmerelda and Grint and reflect with satisfaction on a job well done.
Your beard is as settled and soft as down, but you still look forward to removing it. The caves in the Claw have a great store of brandy which is positioned to remain frozen until this very day, when sunlight begins to reach the ice in which the barrels stand. The next month or two will be a time of easiness and good cheer, and a grin spreads across your face as you think of it.
39
The dark elf and yourself will take turns to loose off an arrow (it’s your turn to start with).
Roll 2 dice. If the result is less than the archer’s Skill they are on target, if it it is equal or greater they have missed.
If the arrow is on target, roll 2 dice again, adding 2. If the result is less than the target’s Skill they have dodged the arrow, if it it is equal or greater they have been hit.
Roll one die for damage.
You begin with 5 arrows, your opponent has 3. If you run out of arrows you can continue with icicles if you have any (but add 1 more to your aiming Skill roll).
DARK ELF SKILL 9 STAMINA 10
If you exhaust your arrows before reducing your enemy’s Stamina to zero you can try to catch up with him (turn to 20) or give up and return to inspect the snowman (turn to 56) or hurry past it (turn to 21). If you win, turn to 62
40
This is clearly the kitchen in which desserts and pies are made. The scents are sweet and pleasant though rather intense. Sugar, flour and spices are strewn around. You can see a huge tureen of something creamy-brown bubbling gently on a stove halfway through the room.
Will you…
Search the room? Turn to 43
Stride through to exit the far door? Turn to 35
Or, if you have not already done so, head upstairs (turn to 29) or into the other kitchen (turn to 12)
41
You step over the mess of twigs and needles, wondering if the being was placed in the tree by an enemy of yours.
The trapdoor in the shed is very heavy and it takes you a couple of minutes to lift it. Once you do, you are assailed by a great gust of heat.
Descending down the warm metal ladder you are immediately greeted by a grinning Dassador who is enthusiastically roasting chestnuts in a stove of some kind. The 20 pace long room, just tall enough to you to stand in, seems to be the main one though it ends in a door, presumably to a bedroom.
Your beard is itching, though quite mildly. Is Dassador still correctly aligned?
Will you…
Give him his present? Turn to 47
Attack him? Turn to 14
Simply leave again? Turn to 30
42
You think you might be able to get down into the home before any lurkers get to you, but when you get into the hut there is a very heavy trapdoor awaiting you and whilst you are still straining at the thick iron ring you hear a rustling sound right behind you…
Test your luck. If you are Lucky turn to 28. If you are Unlucky turn to 58.
43
You rifle through the cupboards finding a variety of ingredients. There is nothing obviously useful and no prepared food but for some reason a jar of cinnamon sticks catches your eye. You may add this to your Adventure Sheet if you wish.
Then a movement in the corner of your eye makes you look round…
Turn to 35
44
The door leads directly into the corner of a large bedroom with a double-bed set against the far wall. Your beard is bristling. The boy you are visiting, Grint, stands on the far side of that (the right side) next to the doors of a huge cupboard set into the wall.
Grint is staring at you intently, with apparent anticipation. He barely reacts to your arrival and certainly does not greet you.
Will you…
Walk over and give him his present? Turn to 5
Charge over and attack? Turn to 11
Return the way you came? Turn to 57
45
To your opponent’s fury and terror the device breaks to you with a great rich scent and gives you another spell riddle which you read:
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.”
With that, a great battle-axe materialises floating high in front of the fiend, chopping down. In that instant he tries to dodge it.
Roll two dice and note that the fiend loses that many Stamina points. Turn to 22.
46
Almost immediately you realise that this was a mistake. One of the green balls leaps across the room and thumps you on the side of the head. You stagger to your left …right into a crunching blow from a huge drumstick which swings round like a cavalry mace knocking your teeth loose.
Another step forward and you slip on some red berry sauce to land flat on your face. The great gravy boat tips forward to pour a brown lake under your face. You try to raise yourself from the floor …and the great roast bird topples across your neck and shoulders like an avalanche.
Bludgeoned and drowning, you slip into oblivion.
47
Dassador is delighted when you hand him a large sachet of Banishment Powder.
“I shall use it straight away!” he exclaims and strides back through the door into a tiny room containing only a small bed. He takes a pinch of the powder and casts it underneath.
Immediately there is a truly unspeakable noise somewhere between the howl of a wolf and the squeal of a pig, the bed is flung into the air and a grotesque humanoid rushes out past you with its hindquarters aflame, leaping out of the entrance hole in a single bound. Your beard almost plaits itself as it passes but stops itching completely the moment it is gone. (Add 20 Comfort & Joy points.)
Dassador is unfazed and gleeful.
“Please, take some of my delicious chestnuts with you!” he enthuses. “They’re very hot - you might want to cool them off before eating them.” He’s not kidding - you can feel that the nuts he shovels into a little leather bag for you are scorching to the touch. Note down 6 on your Adventure Sheet - each can restore 1 Stamina point if eaten.
Now, if you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
48
You both go for the device and this time you grab it first.
Take turns to Test your Luck starting with your opponent (remember you are starting from your initial scores - his is 10). After you have tested twice and the fiend has tested three times, the loser is the one who has failed the most times.
If the number of failures is equal, the first to fail has lost, and if neither of you has failed you must continue to take turns testing until somebody fails.
If you win turn to 45
If you lose turn to 49
49
The device breaks to your opponent with a great rich scent and presents him with another spell riddle which he gloatingly intones:
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.”
With that, a great battle-axe materialises floating high in front of you, chopping down. In that instant you try to dodge it.
Roll two dice and deduct that many Stamina points. If you survive, turn to 22.
50
Slowly edging backwards, you strum the string of your bow to create a gentle, slow hum. The monster shudders, stands still, and eventually dives back into the tureen. Remembering Aloysius’s words, you take a cupful of the mixture and drink it. It is rich and warming - restore 4 Stamina points.
Turn to 8
51
The tough exterior of the device finally rends and with the smell of a rich yet bitter perfume another scroll is delivered to your hands which you read:
“A man wondered why a cannonball was getting bigger. Then it hit him.”
A great iron sphere hurtles from the scroll at lightning speed towards your opponent, blasting him back into the darkness. You do not see his end but for the first time in the house your beard stops bristling. Add 40 Comfort & Joy points.
You stagger back through the now quiet kitchens, find Rudolph in the garden and ask him to carry your tired body home.
Turn to 16.
52
The house is huge and daunting in the near darkness. You fly round to the back and find a garden door, though even this eight feet tall. A little concentration allows you to slide back the bolts on the other side and slip in.
The whole house is setting your beard off.
You find yourself in a small, cold, stone hallway. There are two doorways before you which, from the smells coming from them, must lead to the kitchens. A set of steps also spirals upwards, possibly to the bedroom(s).
Will you
Take the door on the left? Turn to 40
Take the door on the right? Turn to 12
Climb the stairs? Turn to 29
53
Scarcely understanding what you are doing, you will the device to yield to you and one more tug allows the greater part of it to do so, the rest breaking off in the fiend’s hands.
A sound like thunder rings out, and suddenly all parts of the tube vanish into a glow like sunlight. But now there is a spell-riddle scroll in your hands and you recite it without question:
“My dog has no nose. How does he smell? TERRIBLE.”
The scroll erupts into flame and a large dog leaps seemingly from it towards the fiend. Snarling, it leaps at him and releases some sort of yellow gas which makes him choke. He in turn plucks up a heavy staff from the floor and clubs it into oblivion.
Make a note that the fiend has lost 4 Stamina points and turn to 48.
54
You reach for the opening of the bag which does look a little bulky - and then something moves from within at lightning speed…
Test your Luck
If you are Lucky, the snake hidden in the bag narrowly misses your hand as you dart back.
If you are Unlucky it sinks its teeth into your hand before you knock it to the floor. The bite burns and you can feel your hand starting to swell. Deduct 1 Skill and 4 Stamina points.
You crush the snake’s head with your boot. The girl is now white with shock. “The… the other Xander must have left that.” she stammers. As the itch is now fading from your beard it seems that this is the truth as she sees it. Add 5 Comfort and Joy points for saving her from the snake.
You decide to cheer her up with her present: a pink, baby unicorn. Turn to 23
55
The remaining three homes you have listed are closer together and you consider your options as you draw near. There is a broad, dark, single-storey house on your right and a shed (marking the entrance to an underground home) to your left.
Or you could leave them and press straight on to the grand, mansion-like house further on.
Dark bungalow - turn to 9
Underground home - turn to 6
Leave them and press on to the grand house - turn to 52
56
There is something suspicious about the snowman and its position right next to an open door when the other doors are so firmly locked.
You peer at its eyes. For mere pieces of coal they seem surprisingly malevolent-looking. As you look more closely you see that the orange of the carrot seems to be fused into the white of the snow…
You narrowly dodge a heavy swipe from the snow-being, whatever it is. Perhaps some kind of frost demon has been summoned into the snow?
You back away a little and ready your sword. The snowman is not exceptionally agile but it is substantial, being made from dense-packed snow. But perhaps you have something worth throwing? If so, convert the first two letters of the word into numbers (A=1, Z=26), multiply them together and turn to that number. Otherwise, fight with your sword.
SNOWMAN SKILL 7 STAMINA 15
You can give up at any time and head for the underground home (turn to 6) or the grand house (turn to 52).
If you win, turn to 37.
57
You turn round in the doorway.
“No! You can’t go.” snaps Grint, “Come back here at once!”
He hurries over towards you …but then you notice as he nears the door that he takes a careful step over something. A fine tripwire! You feign ignorance and take out what would have been Grint’s gift - a Wand of Friendship which creates cordial feelings in those at which it is pointed - and noting that it has a decent weight to it you casually lob it past Grint onto the tripwire.
A great weight of snow drops from the ceiling, burying Grint who flounders around miserably. Whilst he is occupied, you retrieve the wand and check the cupboard. There is a piece of rich fruit cake here which you may take with you (it restores 4 Stamina points). Doubtless Grint was planning to hole up here after the snow fell on you.
You turn to leave. Grint, dressed only in nightclothes, is blue and shuddering. He stares at you balefully.
Do you have any brandy? If you do and would like to offer him a nip, turn to 19.
Otherwise, add 15 Comfort & Joy points for foiling the trap of naughtiness and head on to either
The underground home (if you have not been here already) - turn to 6 or
The grand house (turn to 52)
58
A needled branch suddenly winds tightly around your throat. You clutch at it - but more branches trap your arms and force them back.
You throw your head back in a desperate attempt to relieve the pressure and gulp at the air - but your second breath is greeted with a shower of pine needles which are sucked deep into your chest. Whatever you do now you cannot get your breath and the branches just bind you tighter as your struggles get weaker and weaker until mercifully you black out.
59
You have survived your mission, but as you reflect on the night it feels ever more like a failure. There are presents still with you which should be in the hands of deserving children by now and you feel in your beard that some Naughtiness remains at large in the village.
You ask Rudolph to set you down before reaching the main cave and trudge off in another direction. Perhaps you will find a cave of your own and become a hermit. You will not represent the cause again.
60
You feel something is wrong as Rudolph carries you back towards the Claw. Your beard writhes around a little at some point as you pass over the village and it is difficult to maintain the satisfaction you felt on defeating the fiend.
Still, Icecrak is no doubt better off for your visit than if no one had come at all. You will reflect on your experiences and wonder if you’ll ever be given a chance to do better.
61
You are just too tired. You cannot even hear the fiend as he mumbles his way through the scroll. There is only a brief moment of terror as a hefty iron ball suddenly hurtles towards your face. Your death is as quick as it is brutal.
62
Just a moment before you let your arrow loose, you know that you have him. “Ho! Ho! HO!” you scream in triumph and let the shaft hurtle through his face and sprinkle his brains over the snowy ground. The manticore shakes his rider’s remains loose and flies off.
You have defeated a powerful Minion of Naughtiness. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
You fly down with Rudolph to inspect the remains of the impostor. He carries a pouch containing two warm pies which contain sugared dried fruit. Each will restore 4 Stamina points. There is also a shiny green disk - a Twist of Fate talisman! This will allow you to reverse a failed Test of your Luck on two occasions.
Return to the choices at 9
Previous edits:
Last Edit: Jan 4, 2015 at 4:47am by thealmightymudworm: Corrected misleading reference thanks to DSR
I really, really meant this to be finished ready for Christmas but I simply failed. Still, it’s not twelfth night until 5th January and I’m b***ered if i’m going to wait another 350-odd days to post it. So if you’re busy giving your true love evil looks because so far they’ve only given you a few gold rings and some wildfowl, perhaps you could do this instead.
It’s a rather odd mix of silly jokes with long-winded descriptions and unnecessarily complex mechanics, but hopefully some will like it. Feedback gratefully received (unless, you know, it's brutal).
Anyway, Happy New Year to all forum regulars and returners: deadshadowrunner, tammy, sylas, champskees, hyreck, Alex, greenspine, paltogue, kieran, nathanh, fallingmast and the rest.
_____________________________________
Roll for Skill, Stamina & Luck as usual. You must also keep track of your Comfort and Joy points (starting on zero) which mark how well you are acting in the spirit of the season as it exists near you. You are aiming to maximise these, not just survive until the end. Unless otherwise specified, Rudolph can be restored by the same food and drink you can.
Your equipment consists of a sword, a bow and five arrows, and some presents. No provisions.
Introduction:
It is the night before the midwinter festival and you are readying yourself to deliver gifts to well-aligned children in the village of Icecrak.
The coming of Xander the Benevolent is expected and must come to pass. But of course you are not the real Xander - this year he has been unfortunately laid low with gout. Now it falls to you and your fellow elves to do the job.
Perhaps your whole life has been building up to this moment. The shame of woodland poverty forcing you to become a thief and learn all the ways, both dextrous and magical, to enter a house uninvited - before your benevolent kidnapping at the hands of your boss. For five years you have been applying your elven arts and crafts skills to the creation of gifts for the deserving at the cave complex known as The Claw (after the sharp overhanging rock feature at the entrance). But your skilful fingers remembered carving and drawing your longbow and you yearned for adventure.
Now you have a sackful of good presents and a mapped list of the village homes. You have donned the Beard of Judgment which bristles in the presence of naughtiness. You considered armour, but have decided to rely on the scraps of metal sewn into your terrifying blood-red garb. They will suffice to make some blows glance off but not slow you if you need a burst of speed, nor prevent your big fat belly accommodating a few more pies. With your finely balanced elven sword and hand-crafted bow to hand for emergencies, there is but one more thing to do: select a ride.
Your fellow elves have already laid claim to Prancer, the only winged reindeer agile enough to somersault, and Blitzen, who moves like lightning. But you have Rudolph, the fire-snouted steed. Worthy of a god, he is not pure-bred reindeer as his great-grandmother had a tryst with a dragon, and he can still snort little puffs of flame, whilst his antlers can fell oak trees. Rudolph’s eyes gleam in anticipation of the night ahead as you advance towards him and his snout glows red hot.
Xander’s coming to town.
1
You swoop in on Rudolph towards four dwellings you have on your list. There is a little moonlight, but no torches set out for general light in the village. The main source of illumination is Rudolph’s nose, and the little puffs of flame reflected off thick snow give a threatening glow to everything.
The first house is a little way away from the others so you had better try that first. Rudolph alights on the snow-clad thick thatched building. Finding the chimney warm, you restore feeling to your hands and think about the best way into the place.
You know that the chimney leads down into the room of the girl you are to visit, but also that there is a window into it down the side of the house. Both are large enough for you to fit through.
Will you…
Scramble down the chimney? Turn to 7
Enter through the window? Turn to 18
2
You open the door onto the landing. At the far end is an open window through which you see a boot disappearing. You rush towards the figure as they slam the window shut - and catch a glimpse of a sinister looking character in garb similar to your own - but by the time you have the window open they are already hurtling skyward on an unspeakably monstrous creature.
Now that the window is open you can see a footprint on the frame with traces of what appears to be coal. Make a note that if you see the word ‘coal’ again you have the option of investigating further by deducting 5 from your current reference.
You return to the room to talk to the girl. Turn to 32.
3
You hold tight onto one end of the cylinder, but you have not yet grasped how these artefacts are to be controlled. With a sharp yet graceful move your enemy draws his end a yard past his right hand side causing it to split near you.
A sound like thunder rings out, and suddenly all parts of the tube vanish into a glow like sunlight. But now the fiend is holding a scroll, and evil glee is written across his face. He begins to recite a spell-riddle from it:
“My dog has no nose. How does he smell? TERRIBLE.”
The scroll erupts into flame and a large creature leaps seemingly from it. It resembles a full-grown mastiff except for a series of slits along its body akin to a fish’s gills in reverse. Also it does indeed have no snout but only room for extra, tusk-like teeth at the front. As it nears you, snarling, all the flaps open and a yellowish gas is blasted at you, causing you to gag. The STENCH HOUND will prove a dangerous foe.
STENCH HOUND SKILL 7 STAMINA 6
The gas causes you to lose 1 Stamina point every round and fight with a 1 point Attack Strength penalty unless you have a jar of cinnamon sticks in which case you can discount this.
If you win, turn to 48.
4
You suddenly remember the coal footprint in Esmerelda’s house and you wonder whether the source of the coal for the snowman is the same one. There are unlikely to be many coal bunkers around with woodland so close.
You back out of the side passage and scan the back yard again. Sure enough, in the gloom you can make out a large metal container with dark smudges on the ground all around it. Gesturing to Rudolph, you approach it cautiously.
As you near it, you hear a muffled squelching and crunching from behind the bunker, and the container itself seems to be teeming with hissing snakes.
You creep round the dome of metal - and confront a dark elf dressed in a similar costume to your own! His costume is a sort of maroon colour but otherwise just the same as yours. Alongside him, a great beast munches on some bloody mess. It has a great lion’s body with huge claws, plus dark wings and a terrifying scorpion’s tail.
On seeing you, your doppelgänger grabs his sack and leaps onto the back of the manticore behind its wings. The beast turns and lashes once in your general direction with its tail - it seems to have been trained to avoid its rider - and then bounds into the air. An arrow thwacks into the ground at your feet a few moments later.
Will you give chase with bow and sword? If so, turn to 39.
Alternatively you may
Return to examine the snowman? Turn to to 56
Hurry into the house? Turn to 21
5
You take a few paces towards the boy …and a great weight of snow drops from the ceiling, clouting you on the head. This is hard, dense-packed snow - almost like wood - suitable for making the strange semi-spherical huts that some frost-bitten tribes craft. Deduct 4 Stamina points and 1 Skill point as the cold numbs your muscles.
By the time you’ve managed to get back to your feet, the boy has locked himself inside the cupboard with its thick oak door and is laughing at you. You hammer on the door with the pommel of your sword but as Grint has correctly calculated it just won’t be worth your while.
You must go to one of the other locations:
The underground home (if you haven’t been here before) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
6
The subterranean home of the child known as Dassador lies on the edge of woodland with a hut covering the small entrance. Rudolph sets you down within twenty paces of it. You begin to walk in the hut’s direction and then you hear a rustling sound from nearby.
Will you
Investigate on Rudolph? Turn to 25
Investigate alone? Turn to 13
Scamper into the hut? Turn to 42
7
You scoot down the stack and land in the roaring fireplace. The searing pain is unbearable, but you tumble out into the room quickly enough and pat out the flames. Deduct 3 Stamina points.
Something else is bothering you just as much as the burns: your beard is itching to warn you of naughtiness in the vicinity. Could the girl have switched alignment since last year?
She is already standing next to the bed dressed in a thick red nightgown and stares at you in seeming bewilderment. She glances at the door, then you again, then the door. The large bed has a traditional hook-ended gift-receiving bag at the end which seems quite chunky already.
Will you….
Open the bedroom door? Turn to 2
Interrogate the girl? Turn to 32
Examine the bag? Turn to 54
Leave (as you don’t give gifts to naughty children)? Turn to 55
8
You step through the door into a kind of dining hall. There is light only from a dozen candles on a square wooden table before you, with sides of about 10 paces in length.
On the far side of the table is a humanoid who is at least an arm’s length taller than you. He wears similar garb to you, but in black. You cannot clearly see his face, but you think you detect a green tinge to his skin. On the table are three long cylinders, each of a single bright colour, which stretch from one side to the other.
“Well, well, well,” the fiend muses in a mocking tone, “we have been a busy delivery boy, haven’t we?”
As he speaks, he rises slowly from his chair and places his hands one at a time on the table, like a cat preparing to pounce.
“I’m a little surprised that you made it past all the little pitfalls I’d arranged - assuming that you’ve been staying true to your duties of course.
”But now it is time for this to end. As you can see the devices are laid out ready…” You instinctively reach for the nearest one but find your hand blocked by an invisible barrier.
“But I see that you are mystified. How amusing. These are sorcerer’s duelling devices. Once the combatants are ready you must sense the …moment.” He grabs one end of the first cylinder and you grab the other.
The fiend has an initial and current Luck score of 10.
Take turns to Test your Luck starting with yourself. After you have tested three times and the fiend has tested twice, the loser is the one who has failed the most times.
If the number of failures is equal, the first to fail has lost, and if neither of you has failed you must continue to take turns testing until somebody fails.
Note that the breaking of a device restores both combatants’ Luck scores to their initial levels.
If you won turn to 53
If you lost turn to 3
9
You circle the house on Rudolph a few dozen cubits from the ground before landing. The windows are mostly tiny and the front door is too conspicuous. There is a back door, but to your great surprise neither your picking skills nor even your magic have any effect on the lock.
Fortunately there is a little side door in the house, slightly ajar, next to a full-sized snowman with a tall dark hat, coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose.
Will you…
Inspect the snowman? Turn to 56
Hurry indoors? Turn to 21
10
You pass into a dining room with a long oak table and several chairs to match. The table is not set for a meal, but there is a huge, brown, spherical pudding in the centre. It would be too big to put your arms round.
While you are peering at the pudding, a flame suddenly appears on top of it and rapidly begins to spread over the top and down the sides.
Will you…
Hurry through to the next room? Turn to 36
Wait and watch? Turn to 15
Throw brandy on it? Turn 17
11
As you charge across the floor towards Grint you feel a slight tug on your ankle.
Test your Luck…
If you are Lucky, turn to 34
If you are Unlucky, turn to 5
12
You open the door to the right-hand kitchen and are immediately assailed by welcome smells …and unwelcome sights. The room is filled with an outsized celebration dinner, all of which seems to twitch in a most unnatural way as soon as you enter.
There is a golden roasted bird of some kind, about the size of a sabre-toothed tiger; roasted potatoes like boulders; some green, vegetable spheres the size of your head; a pouring-dish filled with gravy like a cattle trough and so much more…
Will you try to pass through to the door opposite? Turn to 46
Or, if you have not already done so, you could climb the stairs (turn to 29) or try the other kitchen (turn to 40).
13
Leaving Rudolph in an open space, you creep around the shed straining to see anything moving in the darkness. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in the area. You focus you attention on a little cluster of conical pine trees no taller than you…
Suddenly your flesh crawls. One of the trees is extending out some of its branches - unfolding them like a spider and using them to stalk towards you with surprising speed!
You have no choice but to defend yourself.
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into the face of its opponent and then whipping them with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces your Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack is as normal.
If you win, turn to 41.
14
Dassador looks astonished when you raise your sword to him. He simply flings his hot cooking tongs in your face (deduct 3 Stamina points) and rushes back through the door. This is made from thick wood and you cannot open it. You notice that your beard is itchier closer to the door.
There is nothing of value in the place except for the chestnuts and these are too hot to touch so you had better leave.
If you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
15
You watch as the pudding becomes covered in an intense storm of flames. Suddenly it explodes, a brick-sized lump knocking you on the back of your head. Worse, the burning lump sticks to your chest and you are in agony until you can scrape it off and hold the cold flat of your sword against it. Deduct 4 Stamina points.
When you have gathered yourself, you stagger into the next room. Turn to 44.
16
You are flying home. But have you acted in a fashion worthy of the name of Xander of the Claw?
If you have you amassed…
145-155 points turn to 38
115-140 points turn to 31
85-110 points turn to 60
80 or fewer, turn to 59
17
You step forward and fling some of the brandy towards the intensely flaming pudding. The result is an instantaneous explosion which blasts you against the wall hard enough for you to black out. Your last experience is noticing that burning pudding is stuck to your clothes.
18
Rudolph lowers you to the vicinity of the iron-clad window. It is locked, but a puny hinderance which you have open in no time. Before you clamber in, you notice a few icicles hanging from the sill have a pleasing length, solidity and sharpness to them. You may break them off if you like (if you do, roll one die and add that number to your Adventure Sheet).
You enter the room easily, but your beard is itching to warn you of naughtiness in the vicinity. Could the girl have switched alignment since last year?
She is already standing next to the bed dressed in a thick red nightgown and stares at you in seeming bewilderment. She glances at the door, then you again, then the door. The large bed has a traditional hook-ended gift-receiving bag at the end which seems quite chunky already.
Will you….
Open the bedroom door? Turn to 2
Interrogate the girl? Turn to 32
Examine the bag? Turn to 54
Leave (as you don’t give gifts to naughty children)? Turn to 55
19
Grint offers grudging thanks as you pass him the bottle. He winces as he takes a gulp, but colour starts to return to his cheeks.
“I’m sorry about the trap.” he adds at length. “Someone told me it would be funny, but it doesn’t feel funny. I’ll be good from now on.”
You bid him farewell, noting with satisfaction the power of brandy to save a child from naughtiness. Add 25 Comfort & Joy points.
You must go to one of the other locations:
Underground home (if you haven’t been here before)) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
20
This is tricky. Even Rudolph will be tested by the manticore.
RUDOLPH SKILL 10 STAMINA 18 (unless he has lost Stamina before)
MANTICORE SKILL 11 STAMINA 20
At any time you may escape back to the choices at 9.
If Rudolph wins a round against the Manticore you get to fight a round with the dark elf. If you defeat the elf turn to 33. Likewise if Rudolph reduces the Manticore’s Stamina to 5 or fewer, it will shake its rider off and fly away which achieves the same result (turn to 33). Rudolph won’t shake you loose but you will die if he does.
21
The moment you take your eyes off the ‘snowman’ it tackles you, knocking you to the ground. Icy cold shoots into you. Deduct 2 Stamina points. Also fight this battle with a 1 point penalty to your Attack Strength as your opponent is striking down on you with slow but heavy strokes.
SNOWMAN SKILL 7 STAMINA 15
If you win, turn to 37.
22
You reach for the third device. There is something different about this one and you sense that it will not break easily.
Conduct this like a battle (using Luck in place of Skill for Attack Strength) to see who is exhausted first by the challenge.
ENCHANTER OF NAUGHTINESS LUCK 10 STAMINA 12 (don’t forget to make any modifications to this)
If the fiend’s Stamina is already 0 or below, he just sits slumped in a pool of blood helplessly watching you grab the device and you win automatically.
If you win turn to 51
If you lose turn to 61
23
Esmerelda’s eyes light up when she sees the unicorn. “Oh he’s beautiful! I shall call him Fluffyspikes. He’ll help protect me if anyone like that fake visitor comes again.”
The unicorn, to your surprise, furrows its brows and brandishes its horn as if it understands and is ready for the job. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
“Oh, and I have a gift for you too!” Esmerelda exclaims and draws a flask from under the bed. “It is the finest brandy I have ever distilled.” she says proudly in her flute-like voice. Note three doses of brandy (each of which restores 3 Stamina points) on your Adventure Sheet.
Turn to 55
24
You take out the little bag of chestnuts. They are still as hot as a branding iron and you cannot hold them long even with your gloves on. But each one you fling pierces the being’s snowy body and water flows from where it lodges like blood from a sword wound.
For each one you throw, roll 1 die and add 1 for the number of Stamina points of damage you cause.
If you run out of chestnuts (or don’t wish to use any more) before defeating the snowman, return to 56 to finish him off.
If you win, turn to 37
25
You mosey around the shed on Rudolph. The light is better with him around for one thing. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in the area. You focus you attention on a little cluster of conical pine trees no taller than you…
Suddenly your flesh crawls. One of the trees is extending out some of its branches - unfolding them like a spider and using them to stalk towards you with surprising speed! You shift uneasily back in your seat…
Rudolph however is undaunted and attacks immediately.
RUDOLPH SKILL 10 STAMINA 18 (assuming he has not been injured before)
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into the face of its opponent and then whipping them with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces the opponent’s Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack is as normal.
Rudolph attacks with his antlers, but if he wins a round, roll another die: he causes an extra 1, 2 or 3 points of damage on 4, 5 or 6 with a short jet of flame charring the tree.
If Rudolph dies you cannot complete your mission.
If Rudolph wins, make a note of any damage to him, then turn to 41.
26
As you approach the bag there is a sharp move from it and a snake lashes out at you with amazing speed. It’s probably the second fastest thing you’ve ever seen.
The fastest thing you’ve ever seen is the unicorn’s reaction. It launches from your hand with some force and perfectly skewers the snake’s head to the bedpost. The snake flicks its body feebly for a few moments before a bolt of energy crackles from the unicorn’s horn and finishes it off. The little pink creature detaches itself from the post with a sharp tug before tossing the snake’s body into the air, catching it in its mouth and starting to crunch it.
Esmerelda is delighted.
"Dessert!"
“I shall call him ‘Fluffyspikes’!” she cries and flings her arms around him. Fluffyspikes’s huge eyes gleam as it nestles against her with snake’s blood dribbling from its jaw. You remember that unicorns need to drink a lot of blood to maintain the sunset-pink tinge of their coats. Add 30 Comfort and Joy points.
“Oh, and I have a gift for you too!” Esmerelda exclaims and draws a flask from under the bed. “It is the finest brandy I have ever distilled.” she says proudly in her flute-like voice. Note three doses of brandy (each of which restores 3 Stamina points) on your Adventure Sheet.
Turn to 55.
27
You strum the string of your bow as you enter the room and the twitching of the various foods quietens. As soon as everything is motionless you scamper round taken mouthfuls of as many things as possible. Restore 4 Stamina points.
You dive for the door handle as some things start moving again.
Turn to 8
28
A pine branch sweeps clumsily across your throat and you duck out of the way just in time. Lose 1 Stamina point. You wheel round just in time to fight back against a creepily mobile pine tree
PINE DRYAD SKILL 8 STAMINA 12
This is an unusual fight:
The Pine Tree will alternately attack by flicking pine needles into your face and then whipping you with its surprisingly strong, stiff branches.
The pine needle attack only does 1 Stamina point of damage if successful but it also reduces the opponent’s Attack Strength by 2 for the following 2 rounds. The whipping attack works as normal.
If you win, turn to 41.
29
As soon as you reach the top of the stairs you hear a muffled call for help from a nearby room. Kicking the door open you find Aloysius pinned to the floor, tied down with decorations made from chains of coloured paper and lengths of shiny coloured fluff which writhe of their own accord and seem to have descended from where they were placed on the walls.
Though these have been thickened by some sorcery to make them much stronger than they were, they are no match for a free swing of your sword and you set about them earnestly. The boy struggles free whilst a few strands are feebly lunging at you. He thanks you warmly and you present him with his gift of levitation boots. Add 20 Comfort & Joy points.
“I’m sorry that I have nothing to hand you in return.” Aloysius replies, “But perhaps I have something useful to tell you. The whole house has been taken over by an Enchanter of Naughtiness - it was he that trapped me here. He would not usually show his face on this night, but he knows that you lack experience, and he believes he can defeat you. Indeed he thought you would have been killed off before now by some of his meddling or that of his minions.”
You grind your teeth.
“He has conjured a variety of demons and spirits into all kinds of things to animate them.” Aloysius continues, “He used musical charms, and once I saw him cancel the charm on some food. He took out a cord and strummed it to give a constant drone and it returned for a while to its state. He even took a mouthful to stop it returning.”
This is a useful tip indeed! Can you think of any item you’re carrying which you could strum to produce a constant note? If so, taking letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), make a note that as soon as you encounter moving food you should add the second letter of that item to your current paragraph. (So if you were on paragraph 40 and using a string you would turn to 40 + T (which is 20), which is 60.)
Returning to the hallway,
Will you:
Take the door on the left? Turn to 40
Take the door on the right? Turn to 12
30
Dassador looks a little surprised and disappointed, but bids you farewell.
If you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
31
Looking back over the houses of Icecrak you feel a degree of satisfaction. You had a difficult and dangerous mission, and you have not only survived but done well for those of the Nice alignment.
Yet you can’t help feeling a niggle in the back of your mind; a sense of having missed something. Did you fail to confront an enemy? Or treat the children of the village with something short of the perfect fairness and generosity that Xander’s reputation demands?
Ah well, for now it is time enjoy your leisure. Perhaps you will do still better next year.
32
“But Xander of the Claw was just here!” exclaims the girl who hesitates before introducing herself as Esmerelda, “I woke up just before he left and you arrived”. You stare back at her and shake your head. She even goes to check the landing, but by now her other visitor is long gone.
For a moment you wonder how this can be resolved, but as the itch in your beard is rapidly fading you decide simply to give her her present: It is a baby unicorn with big eyes, glossy pink hair and a horn with all the colours of the rainbow. It is just about small enough for you to carry it standing in one of your hands.
Will you…
Simply gives it to the girl? Turn to 23
Place it gently in the gift-receiving bag (as is traditional?) Turn to 26
33
The dark elf plummets to the ground with a thump. You have defeated a powerful Minion of Naughtiness. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
You fly down with Rudolph to inspect the remains of the impostor. He carries a pouch containing two warm pies which contain sugared dried fruit. Each will restore 4 Stamina points. There is also a shiny green disk - a Twist of Fate talisman! This will allow you to reverse a failed Test of your Luck on two occasions.
Return to the choices at 9.
34
You stumble over the tripwire which you immediately realise must have been set by Grint and narrowly avoid being clouted by a great weight of snow which lands immediately behind you with some force. Grint utters a foul curse unsuited to his years and dives into the cupboard, which he locks behind him.
It isn’t worth your while beating the door down. Add 5 Comfort and Joy points, as at least you didn’t fall victim to a trap of naughtiness.
You must go to one of the other locations:
Underground home (if you haven’t been here before)) - turn to 6
Press on to the grand house - turn to 52
35
As you approached it, the tureen had started to judder slightly on the stove. Now in a sudden spurt the entire contents of the tureen leap out and gather into a moving, dripping mess, taller than you would have imagined possible. It reminds you of Bog Monsters made from living mud - one moment it seems humanoid, the next shapeless.
NOG MONSTER SKILL 6 STAMINA 20
It lurches clumsily but the living liquid ‘heals’ when you strike it so that you seem to need to sprinkle it over the whole room.
If you win, you continue through the far door. Turn to 8
36
You just narrowly squeak through the far door in time as the pudding explodes with some force. Indeed the door which opens towards you blocks a big lump of flaming material. The judder sent through the door suggests it was extremely heavy. Fortunately the room doesn’t seem to have caught fire.
Turn to 44.
37
The Legend of the Accursed Hat
Your repeated blows leave the snowman struggling to move. Remembering a story about an accursed hat, you take your chance and knock his off. Immediately the snow slumps. Taking no chances you tear the hat in half, kick the snow flat and munch the carrot (regain 1 Stamina point).
Turn to 10
38
...aka 400.
The sun begins to rise and bathes Icecrak in golden light. The place where the minion fell is already covered in snow. You survey the homes of Aloysius, Dassador, Esmerelda and Grint and reflect with satisfaction on a job well done.
Your beard is as settled and soft as down, but you still look forward to removing it. The caves in the Claw have a great store of brandy which is positioned to remain frozen until this very day, when sunlight begins to reach the ice in which the barrels stand. The next month or two will be a time of easiness and good cheer, and a grin spreads across your face as you think of it.
Yet part of you is already looking forward to next year. You know that you have exceeded all expectations and will be entrusted with seeking more glory from triumphs against the agents of naughtiness. Soon you shall make a legend for your own name.
39
The dark elf and yourself will take turns to loose off an arrow (it’s your turn to start with).
Roll 2 dice. If the result is less than the archer’s Skill they are on target, if it it is equal or greater they have missed.
If the arrow is on target, roll 2 dice again, adding 2. If the result is less than the target’s Skill they have dodged the arrow, if it it is equal or greater they have been hit.
Roll one die for damage.
You begin with 5 arrows, your opponent has 3. If you run out of arrows you can continue with icicles if you have any (but add 1 more to your aiming Skill roll).
DARK ELF SKILL 9 STAMINA 10
If you exhaust your arrows before reducing your enemy’s Stamina to zero you can try to catch up with him (turn to 20) or give up and return to inspect the snowman (turn to 56) or hurry past it (turn to 21). If you win, turn to 62
40
This is clearly the kitchen in which desserts and pies are made. The scents are sweet and pleasant though rather intense. Sugar, flour and spices are strewn around. You can see a huge tureen of something creamy-brown bubbling gently on a stove halfway through the room.
Will you…
Search the room? Turn to 43
Stride through to exit the far door? Turn to 35
Or, if you have not already done so, head upstairs (turn to 29) or into the other kitchen (turn to 12)
41
You step over the mess of twigs and needles, wondering if the being was placed in the tree by an enemy of yours.
The trapdoor in the shed is very heavy and it takes you a couple of minutes to lift it. Once you do, you are assailed by a great gust of heat.
Descending down the warm metal ladder you are immediately greeted by a grinning Dassador who is enthusiastically roasting chestnuts in a stove of some kind. The 20 pace long room, just tall enough to you to stand in, seems to be the main one though it ends in a door, presumably to a bedroom.
Your beard is itching, though quite mildly. Is Dassador still correctly aligned?
Will you…
Give him his present? Turn to 47
Attack him? Turn to 14
Simply leave again? Turn to 30
42
You think you might be able to get down into the home before any lurkers get to you, but when you get into the hut there is a very heavy trapdoor awaiting you and whilst you are still straining at the thick iron ring you hear a rustling sound right behind you…
Test your luck. If you are Lucky turn to 28. If you are Unlucky turn to 58.
43
You rifle through the cupboards finding a variety of ingredients. There is nothing obviously useful and no prepared food but for some reason a jar of cinnamon sticks catches your eye. You may add this to your Adventure Sheet if you wish.
Then a movement in the corner of your eye makes you look round…
Turn to 35
44
The door leads directly into the corner of a large bedroom with a double-bed set against the far wall. Your beard is bristling. The boy you are visiting, Grint, stands on the far side of that (the right side) next to the doors of a huge cupboard set into the wall.
Grint is staring at you intently, with apparent anticipation. He barely reacts to your arrival and certainly does not greet you.
Will you…
Walk over and give him his present? Turn to 5
Charge over and attack? Turn to 11
Return the way you came? Turn to 57
45
To your opponent’s fury and terror the device breaks to you with a great rich scent and gives you another spell riddle which you read:
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.”
With that, a great battle-axe materialises floating high in front of the fiend, chopping down. In that instant he tries to dodge it.
Roll two dice and note that the fiend loses that many Stamina points. Turn to 22.
46
Almost immediately you realise that this was a mistake. One of the green balls leaps across the room and thumps you on the side of the head. You stagger to your left …right into a crunching blow from a huge drumstick which swings round like a cavalry mace knocking your teeth loose.
Another step forward and you slip on some red berry sauce to land flat on your face. The great gravy boat tips forward to pour a brown lake under your face. You try to raise yourself from the floor …and the great roast bird topples across your neck and shoulders like an avalanche.
Bludgeoned and drowning, you slip into oblivion.
47
Dassador is delighted when you hand him a large sachet of Banishment Powder.
“I shall use it straight away!” he exclaims and strides back through the door into a tiny room containing only a small bed. He takes a pinch of the powder and casts it underneath.
Immediately there is a truly unspeakable noise somewhere between the howl of a wolf and the squeal of a pig, the bed is flung into the air and a grotesque humanoid rushes out past you with its hindquarters aflame, leaping out of the entrance hole in a single bound. Your beard almost plaits itself as it passes but stops itching completely the moment it is gone. (Add 20 Comfort & Joy points.)
Dassador is unfazed and gleeful.
“Please, take some of my delicious chestnuts with you!” he enthuses. “They’re very hot - you might want to cool them off before eating them.” He’s not kidding - you can feel that the nuts he shovels into a little leather bag for you are scorching to the touch. Note down 6 on your Adventure Sheet - each can restore 1 Stamina point if eaten.
Now, if you have not already done so, you may visit the dark bungalow (turn to 9) or press on to the grand house (turn to 52).
48
You both go for the device and this time you grab it first.
Take turns to Test your Luck starting with your opponent (remember you are starting from your initial scores - his is 10). After you have tested twice and the fiend has tested three times, the loser is the one who has failed the most times.
If the number of failures is equal, the first to fail has lost, and if neither of you has failed you must continue to take turns testing until somebody fails.
If you win turn to 45
If you lose turn to 49
49
The device breaks to your opponent with a great rich scent and presents him with another spell riddle which he gloatingly intones:
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.”
With that, a great battle-axe materialises floating high in front of you, chopping down. In that instant you try to dodge it.
Roll two dice and deduct that many Stamina points. If you survive, turn to 22.
50
Slowly edging backwards, you strum the string of your bow to create a gentle, slow hum. The monster shudders, stands still, and eventually dives back into the tureen. Remembering Aloysius’s words, you take a cupful of the mixture and drink it. It is rich and warming - restore 4 Stamina points.
Turn to 8
51
The tough exterior of the device finally rends and with the smell of a rich yet bitter perfume another scroll is delivered to your hands which you read:
“A man wondered why a cannonball was getting bigger. Then it hit him.”
A great iron sphere hurtles from the scroll at lightning speed towards your opponent, blasting him back into the darkness. You do not see his end but for the first time in the house your beard stops bristling. Add 40 Comfort & Joy points.
You stagger back through the now quiet kitchens, find Rudolph in the garden and ask him to carry your tired body home.
Turn to 16.
52
The house is huge and daunting in the near darkness. You fly round to the back and find a garden door, though even this eight feet tall. A little concentration allows you to slide back the bolts on the other side and slip in.
The whole house is setting your beard off.
You find yourself in a small, cold, stone hallway. There are two doorways before you which, from the smells coming from them, must lead to the kitchens. A set of steps also spirals upwards, possibly to the bedroom(s).
Will you
Take the door on the left? Turn to 40
Take the door on the right? Turn to 12
Climb the stairs? Turn to 29
53
Scarcely understanding what you are doing, you will the device to yield to you and one more tug allows the greater part of it to do so, the rest breaking off in the fiend’s hands.
A sound like thunder rings out, and suddenly all parts of the tube vanish into a glow like sunlight. But now there is a spell-riddle scroll in your hands and you recite it without question:
“My dog has no nose. How does he smell? TERRIBLE.”
The scroll erupts into flame and a large dog leaps seemingly from it towards the fiend. Snarling, it leaps at him and releases some sort of yellow gas which makes him choke. He in turn plucks up a heavy staff from the floor and clubs it into oblivion.
Make a note that the fiend has lost 4 Stamina points and turn to 48.
54
You reach for the opening of the bag which does look a little bulky - and then something moves from within at lightning speed…
Test your Luck
If you are Lucky, the snake hidden in the bag narrowly misses your hand as you dart back.
If you are Unlucky it sinks its teeth into your hand before you knock it to the floor. The bite burns and you can feel your hand starting to swell. Deduct 1 Skill and 4 Stamina points.
You crush the snake’s head with your boot. The girl is now white with shock. “The… the other Xander must have left that.” she stammers. As the itch is now fading from your beard it seems that this is the truth as she sees it. Add 5 Comfort and Joy points for saving her from the snake.
You decide to cheer her up with her present: a pink, baby unicorn. Turn to 23
55
The remaining three homes you have listed are closer together and you consider your options as you draw near. There is a broad, dark, single-storey house on your right and a shed (marking the entrance to an underground home) to your left.
Or you could leave them and press straight on to the grand, mansion-like house further on.
Dark bungalow - turn to 9
Underground home - turn to 6
Leave them and press on to the grand house - turn to 52
56
There is something suspicious about the snowman and its position right next to an open door when the other doors are so firmly locked.
You peer at its eyes. For mere pieces of coal they seem surprisingly malevolent-looking. As you look more closely you see that the orange of the carrot seems to be fused into the white of the snow…
You narrowly dodge a heavy swipe from the snow-being, whatever it is. Perhaps some kind of frost demon has been summoned into the snow?
You back away a little and ready your sword. The snowman is not exceptionally agile but it is substantial, being made from dense-packed snow. But perhaps you have something worth throwing? If so, convert the first two letters of the word into numbers (A=1, Z=26), multiply them together and turn to that number. Otherwise, fight with your sword.
SNOWMAN SKILL 7 STAMINA 15
You can give up at any time and head for the underground home (turn to 6) or the grand house (turn to 52).
If you win, turn to 37.
57
You turn round in the doorway.
“No! You can’t go.” snaps Grint, “Come back here at once!”
He hurries over towards you …but then you notice as he nears the door that he takes a careful step over something. A fine tripwire! You feign ignorance and take out what would have been Grint’s gift - a Wand of Friendship which creates cordial feelings in those at which it is pointed - and noting that it has a decent weight to it you casually lob it past Grint onto the tripwire.
A great weight of snow drops from the ceiling, burying Grint who flounders around miserably. Whilst he is occupied, you retrieve the wand and check the cupboard. There is a piece of rich fruit cake here which you may take with you (it restores 4 Stamina points). Doubtless Grint was planning to hole up here after the snow fell on you.
You turn to leave. Grint, dressed only in nightclothes, is blue and shuddering. He stares at you balefully.
Do you have any brandy? If you do and would like to offer him a nip, turn to 19.
Otherwise, add 15 Comfort & Joy points for foiling the trap of naughtiness and head on to either
The underground home (if you have not been here already) - turn to 6 or
The grand house (turn to 52)
58
A needled branch suddenly winds tightly around your throat. You clutch at it - but more branches trap your arms and force them back.
You throw your head back in a desperate attempt to relieve the pressure and gulp at the air - but your second breath is greeted with a shower of pine needles which are sucked deep into your chest. Whatever you do now you cannot get your breath and the branches just bind you tighter as your struggles get weaker and weaker until mercifully you black out.
59
You have survived your mission, but as you reflect on the night it feels ever more like a failure. There are presents still with you which should be in the hands of deserving children by now and you feel in your beard that some Naughtiness remains at large in the village.
You ask Rudolph to set you down before reaching the main cave and trudge off in another direction. Perhaps you will find a cave of your own and become a hermit. You will not represent the cause again.
60
You feel something is wrong as Rudolph carries you back towards the Claw. Your beard writhes around a little at some point as you pass over the village and it is difficult to maintain the satisfaction you felt on defeating the fiend.
Still, Icecrak is no doubt better off for your visit than if no one had come at all. You will reflect on your experiences and wonder if you’ll ever be given a chance to do better.
61
You are just too tired. You cannot even hear the fiend as he mumbles his way through the scroll. There is only a brief moment of terror as a hefty iron ball suddenly hurtles towards your face. Your death is as quick as it is brutal.
62
Just a moment before you let your arrow loose, you know that you have him. “Ho! Ho! HO!” you scream in triumph and let the shaft hurtle through his face and sprinkle his brains over the snowy ground. The manticore shakes his rider’s remains loose and flies off.
You have defeated a powerful Minion of Naughtiness. Add 20 Comfort and Joy points.
You fly down with Rudolph to inspect the remains of the impostor. He carries a pouch containing two warm pies which contain sugared dried fruit. Each will restore 4 Stamina points. There is also a shiny green disk - a Twist of Fate talisman! This will allow you to reverse a failed Test of your Luck on two occasions.
Return to the choices at 9
Previous edits:
Last Edit: Jan 4, 2015 at 4:47am by thealmightymudworm: Corrected misleading reference thanks to DSR