Feathers of the Phoenix

[linflas]

Hello,

I found a cool way to use my spare time at work. I've made a french translation of this little adventure written by Kieran (I hope that's not a problem btw ?)

Added extra rules to increase difficulty :
- hero has : Skill 9 Stamina 12 Luck 9 because he's just a Blacksand sc*mbag.
- potion of skill gives AS+2 for one fight
- health potion restores 8 stamina points
- potion of luck makes you lucky for sure only once, you don't lose a luck point
- luck in combat can have 3 usages : 1. limit damage when you lose a turn (as in FF rules), 2. when you win turn and are lucky, you stab your knife in enemy's arm (fencing botte), which makes him/her handicaped of 2 AS points until the end of the fight, 3. if you win turn and are lucky, you can drink your potion (if it's not the potion of luck of course) and its effect is immediate

Also did 2 small visuals : smiling pirate and red lantern tavern.

If you can read french, PDF with clickable links is attached here : litteraction.fr/livre-jeu/les-plumes-du-phoenix

Enjoy

[kieran]

Nov 24, 2018 22:33:26 GMT linflas said:

Hello,

I found a cool way to use my spare time at work. I've made a french translation of this little adventure written by Kieran (I hope that's not a problem btw ?)

Added extra rules to increase difficulty :
- hero has : Skill 9 Stamina 12 Luck 9 because he's just a Blacksand sc*mbag.
- potion of skill gives AS+2 for one fight
- health potion restores 8 stamina points
- potion of luck makes you lucky for sure only once, you don't lose a luck point
- luck in combat can have 3 usages : 1. limit damage when you lose a turn (as in FF rules), 2. when you win turn and are lucky, you stab your knife in enemy's arm (fencing botte), which makes him/her handicaped of 2 AS points until the end of the fight, 3. if you win turn and are lucky, you can drink your potion (if it's not the potion of luck of course) and its effect is immediate

Also did 2 small visuals : smiling pirate and red lantern tavern.

If you can read french, PDF with clickable links is attached here : litteraction.fr/livre-jeu/les-plumes-du-phoenix

Enjoy

Awesome, can't read French but the visuals are very nice and cool that Feathers hasn't been forgotten! Scary to think I wrote it 14 years ago - I was playing a lot of GTA Vice City at the time lol

[linflas]

14 years... I hadn't realized as well !
The ending leaves the door open to a sequel, so did you start to write one ?

[kieran]

It was an entry to a competition where you had to write a 50 section mini-gamebook which had to be written as an introduction to a larger gamebook. I had an idea for how to finish it off but never got round to it in the end.

[linflas]

Well, i would be very interested to read that.

Many Titan related adventures from FFzine have been translated to french in some kind of series named "Chronicles of Titan" (where your "Hand of Fate" is, btw) of 16 books at the moment.

If you have some time to write a small plan/map of that idea, the feathers quest could become a whole gamebook of that series.

[kieran]

Nov 27, 2018 8:12:59 GMT linflas said:

Well, i would be very interested to read that.

Many Titan related adventures from FFzine have been translated to french in some kind of series named "Chronicles of Titan" (where your "Hand of Fate" is, btw) of 16 books at the moment.

If you have some time to write a small plan/map of that idea, the feathers quest could become a whole gamebook of that series.

Cool, will give it some thought

[linflas]

Hi !

For fun, yesterday I got a little try at a sequel, chapter two or whatever you may call it. I write it default in french and translate with Deepl, plus some manual rearrangements. I guess there are wrong written sentences but that should be readable. I wrote 10 sections at the moment, here's the intro i.e. second part of section 50. I don't pretend to finish it for this year and honestly, I'm first interested to know what's not translated correctly to improve my english  (i know the translator adds lots of "the" and "of", and doesn't detect neutral "it")


Flee

At the climax of the night, a warm wind rushes through the avenues and winding alleys of Blacksand, vomiting a savvy blend of spoiled shellfishes, troll droppings and a plethora of various detritus whose origin is beyond imagination. Tetanized behind you, Dolgern's mule emits a rant of exhaustion - hardly surprising after the frenzied gallop you forced on it. As for Vortigen's black stallion, who would have been very useful to you, it fled through Palace Street after you had bewildered your former acolyte and took him back the feathers (your LUCK reaches back its starting value for this feat). You are now at the corner between Ratcatcher Alley and Clock Street. At this time, most patrols are active near the Palace because until dawn, the City of Thieves is entrusted to cats searching food or night partner.

Several options exist, knowing first of all that it is becoming urgent to leave the city. You're convinced that this sowbug of Vortigen has already told everything to Branno, who will send his henchmen after you without delay to grab the feathers. However, you also find yourself in a complete dead end regarding the search for the remaining feathers. Late Sylees lies stabbed a dozen steps behind and will never talk again. The same goes for the two Southern Men you slained at the docks. If you talked to Gwynn in previous episode, turn to 51. If not, will you :

Inspect Sylees' body? Turn to 52
Flee Blacksand by sea? Turn to 53
Or by the moor? Turn to 54

[kieran]

This is cool. Interesting to see how you develop the story.

Regarding the translation
-"vomiting" is an odd choice of word. But then it is Blacksand I suppose!
- not sure what "tetanized" means
- "rant" seems like the wrong word. "Grunt" or "gasp" might be better
- "bewildered" should probably be "bested". "Acolyte" should maybe be "accomplice". It should read "took the feathers back from him"
- it should read "your Luck is restored to its Initial value"
- should be an "a" before "night partner"
- not sure what a "sowburg" is
- I would remove the "Late" before "Sylees"
- "slained" should be "slew"
- should be a "the" before "previous episode"

[linflas]

Oh god... thanks for correcting ! I don't think I'll be able to translate to a language I don't speak naturally.

tetanized = cannot move a muscle because of extreme fatigue and fear
sowbug = typo sorry, an insulting word for Vortigen as tiny crappy insect

About the story, I think about being purchased in other Allansia cities by the local thieves guilds while collecting information about another feather. and of course, we may know about the Southern Men sect...

[kieran]

Jul 2, 2020 14:26:02 GMT linflas said:

Oh god... thanks for correcting ! I don't think I'll be able to translate to a language I don't speak naturally.

Well as someone currently struggling through a French course in Duolingo, I wish my French was anything like as good as your English! If you like though you could write it in French, run it through an auto-translate and I could correct any oddities?

About the story, I think about being purchased in other Allansia cities by the local thieves guilds while collecting information about another feather. and of course, we may know about the Southern Men sect...

My initial idea for the Southerners was that they worked for a wealthy woman who ran a penal colony in Southern Allansia and you'd have to infiltrate the prison by purposefully getting arrested to obtain a feather she owned. Of course, you probably have your own ideas!

[linflas]

Well, yours is quite interesting as well. I keep it in mind !