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Post by petch on Apr 7, 2023 21:26:30 GMT
What items would you like to see featured in future FF books? Here are a few of mine:
Sword of Shopkeeper Slaying - Allows you to add 2 to your Attack Strength in battle with unprovoked attacks on vendors, sundry tradesmen, harmless old men or blind kittens. Invaluable in any Sir Ian adventure.
Amulet of Zxyrqwvbyzzzgbyrklmqrxxyvqlmyhpywqvymphbtywqxzyzyzyzyzyzyzqwtyxxxxxxxxxq - Sigh with despair as you realise that at some point you're going to have to convert this into a reference using bloody alphabet code.
Four fingered bookmark - Because, let's face it, at some point we've all resorted to using this, right?
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Post by CharlesX on Apr 8, 2023 6:34:09 GMT
Detect\remove cursed objects ring - Haha, Rick and Morty that Ian Livingstone adventure!
Ring of clumsiness - Let's you fail two tests and thus invaluable for perverse FF adventures (and\or pornography ).
Ring of wishing - Let's you automatically win the adventure with a single wish, better yet, do better than the adventure. Because there's no mention of any cap.
Petch above is clearly joking about "Amulet of Zxyrqwvbyzzzgbyrklmqrxxyvqlmyhpywqvymphbtywqxzyzyzyzyzyzyzqwtyxxxxxxxxxq", because not only would you have to remember the alphabet code but also + or - another number, the reference number of the tradesperson you bought it from, his name, his dog's name etc.
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Post by hallucination on Apr 8, 2023 16:52:04 GMT
Ring of Knowledge of Author Intent Especially Concerning the Distinction Between Skill and Attack Strength Bonuses
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Post by thealmightymudworm on Apr 8, 2023 20:59:38 GMT
Supreme Retail Business License – provided directly by the gods, this allows its owner to set up a shop in the most unpromising places. Every being regardless of attitude or intelligence must accept its authority, be they ghoul, dragon or manticore, waving this in their face(s) will cause them to leave the shopkeeper unmolested.
An adventure suggests itself with a hero being pursued by assassins or a horde of caarth who can only escape by founding an outlet for poorly labelled potions. But how do they pass on the business to another? Only a Divine Business Transfer and Sale Agreement can do this, but the only known example was torn in half by squabbling goblins and dark elves...
NB: even a Supreme Retail Business License is no defence against a human self-declared hero carrying a Sword of Shopkeeper Slaying.
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Post by petch on Apr 11, 2023 18:00:14 GMT
The Prov-U-Gulp Portable Blender - Formerly endorsed by Allansia's foremost celebrity chef*, this handy gadget is the solution for any adventurer confused by unclear guidelines as to whether they are able to wolf down multiple portions of provisions at once. Low on stamina but moments away from battling a horde of rampaging trolls? No problem! With the Prov-U-Gulp you can quickly liquidise as many as six portions of adventuring provisions into an unappetising paste that you can cram down your gullet in seconds.
*Endorsement officially withdrawn after the product was linked to side effects including bloating, indigestion, excessive flatulence and a spate of hilarious Mr Creosote style deaths.
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Post by CharlesX on Apr 11, 2023 18:55:15 GMT
Ring of some common sense - Let's you disregard certain options which would lead to certain death under most ordinary circumstances e.g. "do you drink the bottle clearly marked poison with a skull and crossbones", "do you attack the muscular weapons salesman", "do you let the powerful evil warlock continue casting his spell or attack", and "do you continue walking past the WARNING EXTREME DANGER sign past the door with no handle into the room with several old dead bodies"? Apparently doesn't work in certain pastiche gamebooks.
Ring of divine common sense - Tells you whether it'd be best to do something one would have no clue at all to do under most circumstances e.g. the colour of a laboratory bottle potion to randomly drink, when you should attack a kindly shopkeeper, whether to go left or right at an unmarked corridor, whether you should choose one ingredient or another.
Ring of inverse inverse outcomes - Let's you flip outcomes when a pass would result in a fail and a fail would result in a pass. Also called 'finger-turning references because gamebook has erroneously flipped outcomes'.
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