Post by thealmightymudworm on Aug 12, 2014 13:43:12 GMT
I know I said that a parody of The Crimson Tide was next on my 'to do' list, but I fancied doing something a bit different. This isn't a parody of anything (except for one pretty obvious reference). Unlike Creature of Hangover it's mostly 'straight' (and could be set on Titan), although I couldn't resist throwing in the odd joke or bit of silliness here and there which won't be to everyone's taste. That and semi-relevant illustrations nicked from Deviant Art.
You can't just blunder round as there are a couple of puzzles. Those probably won't tax any veterans though. I set them with my own level of brainpower in mind and I've been stuck in deadshadowrunner 's signature for six months.
Mindless gushing and very gentle constructive criticism gratefully received.
_______________________________________________
Background:
You had a spring in your step as you ambled into the village of Slumberdown on the journey from your hometown of Slackjaw to nearby Fairway. Your training in swordplay is complete, and you have been unable to resist swinging and brandishing your gleaming new blade as you go - even taking on a young giant spider on the way. You have much to learn, of course, including archery from a Fairway bowman who owes you a favour, but you can’t help feeling like an adventurer already.
The fight has delayed you, and the sun begins to sink in the sky too soon for you to press on to Fairway tonight. But you have a few copper and silver coins for an inn, so you feel undaunted.
There is something strange about the village, however. The valley has a great tear across the earth as if there had been an earthquake - and indeed, you remember feeling the ground trembling a little beneath your feet just before dawn broke, along with the crash of a great storm. Your greater concern however is that the place seems to be deserted.
Finally, you find your own way to The Fatted Chieftain and hammer on the door with the pommel of your sword. There is no answer as such, but you fancy you hear a faint whimpering.
“Hello?” you call, “Any rooms free?”
At length you hear the door being cautiously unbarred and half a wizened face with eye stretched wide peeps round it. “A warrior!” exclaims the barman, and bustles you in.
Half a dozen people and a small black cat are huddled together in a corner of the room, sitting stiff with terror. The barman wastes no more time on pleasantries, but starts reciting doggerel:
Slumberdown has long been cursed
The threat it holds one of the worst
A fiend who learned forbidden arts
Full focussed on the darkest parts
He twisted grew, and fond of blood
And now he seethes within the mud
The day shall come when earth shall split
And open up in one long slit
Then from the earth the bat shall fly…
And only those that fortune favours, die.
“That’s all we can quote for sure, he continues, but it’s not hard to guess what happened. A sorcerer of some colour developed vampyric tendencies and the villagers of the time decided to deal with him. However, they obviously didn’t use one of the most permanent methods. Instead they must have come across the fiend’s place of rest, sealed it shut and buried it in the fields.
“Of course that could not be expected to hold one such as he, were it not for the waters of this place. The mountain peak has been thought a place of ineffable holiness for a thousand years and water which flows down from it considered blessed. Thus they hoped the creature would be bound within, and so it seems. That is why this place is named Slumberdown - as a warning to all of the great evil that sleeps here.
“Afore sunrise there was the most unnatural storm. We cannot tell who summonsed it, but a great sheet of lightening flashed across the earth before it split, and a great dark shape seemed to float up and swoop into the roof of the sage’s house.” He points at an angle through the barred door towards a point in the valley.
“He’s a strange one, our sage - or was I should say, as I doubt he’s still living. Very clever, with scraps of magic but a little mad. Kind though - he was always given to inviting the strangest guests. Now, good sir, would you be willing to visit the sage’s dwelling, and vanquish the darkness that will take or turn us? I don’t wish to be killed, or be made a bloodthirsty fiend.” He pauses. “Although to be honest I’d probably go for the second one…”
“There is another, weaker prophesy.” adds the landlady:
Slumberdown shall see a spark
Dim and feeble ‘gainst the dark
Shall this spark begin a fire
When the darkness is so dire?
You wait for a more reassuring verse, but it doesn’t come.
“Couldn’t someone else…?” you start to say. You look around you. The Barman has a long white beard. So does the landlady. A slender youth squats snivelling under the table. Three pale girls who look like they’re made of porcelain huddle together. All of them stare at you with wide, pleading eyes. Including the cat.
“I’ll do my best.” you hear yourself saying, and glumly lift the bar on the door and trudge towards the two-storey hovel in the warm light of a late summer’s afternoon.
1.
The sage’s house is broken down and dirty with big cracks in the dark wooden boards at the front and thick cobwebs shrouding the windows from view. Behind the house the meadow stretches with the great split across it. You fancy you can see some kind of flickering above a certain point along the split and you wonder whether this has something to do with the escaping fiend.
The door of the house is unlocked and slightly ajar. Clearly the sage does not care any more about security than he does about housecleaning. Peering round the door, you can see the house has a simple layout. There’s a room to the left with a suit of armour standing alongside it.
Ahead of you, a rickety staircase leads up to a dark landing on which you would obviously turn to enter the door to the single bedroom which is above your head. You instinctively glance above you, but there is nothing remarkable about the ceiling. Past the staircase on the left at the back of the house there seems to be some sort of square in the floor which may be an entrance to the cellar.
On your right is one remaining door, which you suppose must be the kitchen.
Will you try…
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
The stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
2.
You turn the corner and are confronted by a huge warrior, the likes of whom you’ve never seen before. As tall as a horse and twice as muscular he wears heavy furs and a heavy iron helmet with strange white spiralling horns. A double-headed battle-axe stands as tall as you, balanced in his right hand and his grip tightens as he catches sight of you and stares in astonishment.
Do you…
Attack immediately? Turn to 12
Await his move? Turn to 19.
3.
You tiptoe carefully up the creaky wooden steps, knowing full well that if the vampire is in the bedroom there is every chance you are giving him plenty of warning.
You turn on the landing, which unlike the hallway is completely dark, take a deep breath and approach the bedroom door. There seems to be a slight haze around it…
Are you carrying a bottle of blessed or holy water? If so, turn to 23.
Otherwise, turn to 9.
4.
The pen’s nib penetrates just a quarter of an inch into Horace, and he flicks it away contemptuously …then his eyes bulge as he feels the tiny amount of water cause havoc in his veins. He clutches at every part of his torso, arms and face, and you are certain you see his skin bubbling.
(There is a moment’s pause for you to perform one swift action if you can think of one)
Horace gathers himself and lunges at you again, but more sluggishly.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 8 STAMINA 8
Horace’s unnatural powers of recuperation are also nebulised. Each time your sword strikes him a puff of steam leaves his flesh.
If you win, turn to 10
5.
An absurd thought crosses your mind and you suppose it’s worth a try…
“None!” you stammer.
The effect this has on the armour is immediate and extraordinary. It stands up taller, turns and lets the blade of its sword drag along the ground as it moves back in front of the lettering. It does not stand however, but sits easily against the wall with one ‘leg’ stretched out and the other folded. Placing the sword across its ‘legs’ it reaches up, unscrews its ‘head’, reaches within itself and pulls out a rag and gourd of oil.
You leave it polishing itself and stroll into the room, grateful that the sage was too forgetful to remember his own passwords. Turn to 29.
6.
Horace seems to barely touch the ground as he hurtles toward you, and the fluttering of his black clothing in the dark makes him appear somehow unreal. But the long, jagged claws on his fingers are very real, and slash at you with unnatural speed.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 11 STAMINA 16
To make matters worse, whilst your sword injures him as usual, his unnatural powers of recuperation are formidable. Every round which Horace begins with STAMINA below 16, he regains 1 point ready for the next round.
If you win, turn to 10.
7.
You jump down - and are promptly blind-sided by something sharp. Deduct 3 STAMINA points.
You turn quickly …and scream as the pale monstrosity lunges for you again. It seems like an aged man yet so shrunken and gaunt it surely cannot live, still it thrashes its arms at you at alarming speed - and those arms have many shards of broken glass embedded in them. It glows with a pale light in the darkness, and worst of all is the wide-eyed look of horror on its own face which must exceed even your own…
MONSTROSITY SKILL 7 STAMINA 8
Every hit the MONSTROSITY lands on you costs 3 STAMINA points. Also, it fights in a frenzy, so if your Attack Strengths match you both take a hit.
If you win, turn to 28.
8.
Horace erupts into an inferno and staggers around. You are afraid that the room might quickly burn down too, but even when he kicks against his wooden coffin the bright orange flames do not catch. Taking no chances - as the sun is near set - you turn full circle and swing your sword with all your might to cleave his burning head from its body. Each falls to the ground and lies still.
At length, the flames die down to leave scorched bones. You pick up the skull, which has split down the middle, and return to the village.
Turn to 400.
9.
The square room is lit by dozens of candles attached to the walls, with a great wooden board blocking what must be a large window on the far wall. The remains of a wooden bed have been hacked and bound into a rough coffin shape with some crude carpentry. It is filled with fresh soil and has a lid of sorts half-covering it.
In the far corner of the room stands your enemy: tall, pale and wearing the tatty remains of what was once a sumptuous black robe. He is waiting calmly for you.
“Greetings, noble warrior.” he intones, in a deep yet lyrical voice. You sense he is mocking you.
“I am Horace. You may have heard of me. I have been lying awake under the earth for centuries. With no blood I became as weak as a kitten yet continued to exist long after those who imprisoned me had passed. Finally I have been summonsed to return by forces you cannot understand.
“Soon I shall have my revenge on those impudent villagers. But it is kind of you to come to me now. It is tiresome waiting for twilight while I thirst. Of course I have a little blood bottled since this morning - but if revenge is best served cold, blood…” he opens his mouth and runs his tongue over his teeth, and you see the elongated fangs for the first time, “…is best piping hot.”
With that he floats rather than jumps over the coffin and comes skittering at you!
Do you have an item containing holy water? If so, treat the letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), add together the second and third letters and subtract the number of letters in the word. Turn to that reference. (So if you were carrying a COW full of blessed water, you would turn to 15 + 23 - 3 = 35. That’s not the right answer.)
Otherwise, draw your sword and fight. Turn to 6.
10.
You jab your sword into Horace’s side one too many times and he scuttles or flutters backwards to tumble into the coffin. He lies still in it with his eyes closed and a sickly yellow glow comes over him. You can see the wounds you fought so hard to inflict, healing.
You bring your sword down with all your might on the creature’s throat …and fall on your back just in time to avoid the blade as it is flung back at your face! Unbelievably, the sword seems to have been flung up because the wound closed with such immense force.
Do you have a weapon, tool or implement that might finish Horace off? If you think you do, think of the letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), add together the last two letters and turn to that paragraph.
Failing that, can you think of something to break which might help? Add the first two letters of that word together and turn to that paragraph.
Otherwise, turn to 18.
11.
You wander over the field, bathed in the egg yolk yellow light of early summer’s evening, to the nearest edge of break in the ground. You see the topsoil is scorched black. It is not a wide break - only a little too broad for you step over.
There is water flowing freely below you. This must be the supposedly blessed water which the villagers spoke of, and you can fill a bottle with it now if you have one to fill (if not, make a note that if you find a bottle you can come back here without turning to the paragraph again).
Just the other side of the breach is the cause of that ‘flickering’ you saw earlier. A crowd of red butterflies is swarming around something. A stone edge juts up amongst them.
You could jump over the breach to investigate. If you do, turn to 33.
Alternatively, you could return to the house and, if you have not done so already, investigate
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
Upstairs? Turn to 3.
12.
The warrior grins, hops the huge axe up in his hand and casually swings it in an arc which could have split marble. The huge weapon does DOUBLE DAMAGE (2 or 8 with a LUCK roll…)
WARRIOR SKILL 9 STAMINA 15
If you win, turn to 13.
13.
The warrior looks almost pleased as you bury your sword in him up to the hilt. He crashes to the floor with such force that you are nearly thrown off your feet.
A brief examination reveals nothing that you can take from him. His axe is so heavy that you can barely lift it, let alone fight with it. When you reach to pick up his helmet you are startled to find it crackles angrily at you with some strange magic. You can take an empty bottle from the shelf if you choose.
Now, if you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
14.
You’re not at all sure that your blows are causing much damage. You bring your sword crashing down on the crest of the helmet, only to have to drop to one knee before your weapon finishes vibrating as the armour’s sword swishes so close to your head you wonder if you’ve lost hair.
It would just be madness to die here fighting this opponent which will let you escape freely, just to get into a room which might contain nothing. If you have no other ideas as to how to get past the armour, you had better go elsewhere. If you have not already done so will you…
Go through the door behind you? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
15.
Cursing your luck, you swat away the last few of the accursed creatures and hurl yourself back across the torn ground, staggering a dozen paces before allowing yourself to slump to the ground. Rills of blood seem to be working their way over every inch of your face and arms. You wipe blood out of your eyes.
You look back towards the house and see that a window at the top of the house, currently bathed in sunlight, has been blocked up by a board or similar. You make your way back to the front door.
If you have not already done so, will you investigate…
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
Upstairs? Turn to 3.
16.
Horace looks astonished when you produce your water-filled fountain pen. He does not seem to guess what is within it. But how are you going to use it?
If you try to stab him with it, turn to 6 and fight as normal but with a 2 point penalty to your Attack Strength. The first time you strike him with it, turn immediately to 4.
At any time either now or if you tire of trying to stab him with it, you can fling the pen at him like a dart. In which case Test Your LUCK. If you are unlucky, it deflects harmlessly off his clothing and is crushed underfoot - turn to 6 and continue with your sword. If you are lucky, turn to 4.
17.
You feel a rising sense of panic as you realise that you have no weapon with which to strike the killing blow. But you’ve kept your wits about you… maybe there’s a little sunlight left? You beat the pommel of your sword against the window board with frenzied strokes until with a great crack it splits to reveal a beautiful sunset.
The light seems weak, but within an instant Horace is sitting up with a look of panic. You scramble back across the room to head him off as he lunges for the door. Planting your feet, you raise your weapon grimly.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 11 STAMINA 14
The vampire remains a formidable enemy - but time is now on your side. For each round you survive, deduct a STAMINA point from your opponent. However, if he wins three rounds in a row, turn to 25.
If you win, turn to 8.
18.
A sense of panic seeps through you as you realise that you have no way of completing the job. You run headlong out of the house and up the road as the sun sets. It is the best part of an hour before twilight takes hold. Hopefully you are far enough from Slumberdown for that creature not to fol…
You are knocked flat on your face as something crashes into the back of your head. Dazed and exhausted you barely react as you see a familiar figure alight in front of you and pick you up by the shoulders, his claws digging into you.
“My friend, you left in such a hurry.” he smiles nastily, “I have urgent business to take care of in the village, but I could not let you leave without saying ‘Goodbye’.”
His eyes widen and he stares deep into yours. You feel your last traces of resistance ebbing away.
“Goodbye.” he adds, and he snaps at your neck like a cobra. Mercifully, his thirst is such that your end is swift.
19.
With his suspicious eyes on you all the time, the warrior passes his axe from one hand to the other, slowly sits down, takes out a drinking flask and waits. You sense that there are only two types of people for the warrior: those he fights and those he drinks (and maybe eats) with.
You don’t have any liquor in your pack and you sense that drinking plain water would probably just insult him. But there are a few things available in the kitchen:
An open cylinder marked ‘Tea’ on the side with something that might be tea leaves in it though they look a bit strange, a freshly baked sponge sandwich cake with some kind of red berry jam in the middle, some fruit (mostly lemons) and sugar that you could probably make a drink with, and finally there are five, heavily-sealed bottles standing on the ground. A black ribbon is tied round the bottles with the word ‘spirits’ written on it in chalk.
Will you…
Attempt to make tea? Turn to 30
Have a piece of cake? Turn to 24
Squeeze some fruit juice? Turn to 32
Take a glug from one of the bottles of spirits? Turn to 27.
20.
Trembling, you raise the bottle to your lips and force yourself to gulp at the thick gunge. It tastes of little but the texture is unpleasant. As it slips down your throat you feel your body start to convulse uncontrollably…
…and suddenly you snap back into awareness of your surroundings. You feel intensely invigorated. Your skin tingles and your sword and pack seem lighter. Add 1 point to your initial SKILL and 2 points to your initial STAMINA before restoring your current levels to those maximums.
That warrior must have known some powerful magic - no doubt that was why the sage invited him.
Return to the paragraph you came from.
21.
You feel a little foolish taking the pencil out of your bag, but it’s been cut thick from a dense wood. Gingerly, you place the point against the vampire’s chest, just left of the centre. It is not flung back at you. You tap the pencil with the pommel of your sword and it pierces the vampire’s skin. Remembering that you have no idea how long it might be until the fiend is able to attack again, you raise your sword to arm’s length, and bring it down on the pencil, knocking it deep into his flesh.
The effect is instant and startling. Horace’s eyes flit open and you fling yourself backwards and shelter in the corner as he flails around and scrabbles at his chest. Waves of black energy crackle inward from every part of his body towards the pencil which even catches fire.
Horace’s body degrades rapidly. His eyes sink back and his skin stretches taut until with a sickening snap it breaks off the blackened flesh and shrivels. A moment later there is no flesh left either, just a crumbled skeleton with a few scraps of cloth and the pencil wedged between two ribs burning with a soft yellow flame. That too goes out leaving just a plume of smoke.
You edge over for a closer look. Even the skull has broken in half. You are startled to find it hot as if it had been in an oven but apart from that, and the two elongated teeth, it looks just like any other skull that has been buried for centuries. You take it with you.
Turn to 400.
22.
You slip in through the whitewashed door and peer around cautiously. The room is indeed a sort of kitchen, laid out in the chaotic way the sage has had the rest of the house, but your scalp crawls as you see a tell-tale sign that the vampire has been downstairs: There are three glass bottles on a shelf filled with what you’re certain is blood.
The room is a sort of L-shape, and round the corner you hear a shuffling sound. Could the vampire still be there?! You have time to dart back out of the door. Will you investigate? Turn to 2.
Or if you retreat, and have not done so already, will you:
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
23.
As you move close to the door you feel a slight tug on your pack. You wheel round - but there is no one there. As you move in again, you feel a firmer tug and this time a snarling voice erupts in your head.
“No flask of that loathsome priest’s piss shall pass this door!!”
You stagger back. Can the fiend see you and your belongings? Can he read your mind as well as speaking into it? You take out the bottle and move it within a pace of the door, feeling the resistance intensifying as you press it closer. Suddenly the voice erupts in your head again, repeating itself exactly. The charm is linked to the door itself and the voice just an echo woven into it. You give a sigh of relief.
Still, you must leave the bottle of blessed water here and you are loth to do so. Perhaps this limited charm will overlook a smaller container, something less obvious than a bottle, which you can fill before entering the room? If you can think of anything you are carrying which might be of use, make a note on your Adventure Sheet.
As you ready yourself once more, the thought occurs to you that the fiend could probably have conjured up a charm to keep you out if he felt he had anything to fear from a mere swordsman.
You grit your teeth and reach for the battered brass door handle. Turn to 9.
24.
You cut yourself a big slice of cake and flop down on a stool opposite the warrior, who stares at you with one bushy eyebrow raised. He makes no move to drink.
You decide to take the initiative, raise your piece of cake to him with a grin and take a hearty bite out of it. The sponge is moist and delicious and the jam …this is not jam.
Realising that you have made a terrible mistake and that this cake is the creation of a vampire with a sweet fang, you instinctively retch it out onto the table. Lose 2 LUCK points. Unfortunately, the warrior takes this as the final insult. He spits in your face and rises to his feet with his axe back in his right hand. If you stay, you must fight - turn to 12.
If you flee, the warrior will not bother chasing you. If you escape, and have not done so already, will you:
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Take a look at the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
25.
You try to stand your ground, but the third time the fiend slashes at you are forced to turn aside just long enough for it to dash through the door and jump over the stair rail, landing like a cat and darting off again.
It has probably headed for the cellar, but battered and bleeding you dare not chase it into the darkness again.
Taking advantage of the last half hour of sunlight you start scurrying along the road to Fairway. At least you can hope that the vampire will probably repair his coffinroom when night falls before thinking of coming after you. But the faces of the doomed villagers swim before your mind. This is a poor start for a budding hero.
26.
As you suspected, the square is a thick oak trapdoor down into some kind of cellar, with a heavy iron ring to lift it. You raise it halfway, and think you can hear some shuffling or panting sound below.
Will you…
Jump down immediately? Turn to 7
Wait to see what else happens? Turn to 36
Alternatively, you could abandon this investigation and if you have not already done so, head for…
The black door next to the armour? Turn to 34
The white door opposite it? Turn to 22
The stairs? Turn to 3
The broken field? Turn to 11.
27.
The bottle is so tightly fastened that you cannot remove the stopper by hand and are forced to hack it off with your sword. You nod to the warrior and you both raise your vessels to your lips. You hesitate for a moment as you prepare to swig the unknown liquor …but the bottle’s contents do not wait.
All the fluid in the bottle shoots up into your mouth at once and seems to explode in all directions at the back of your throat. For an instant you feel burning hot and icy cold all over all at once, before the SPIRIT takes control of your body and snuffs out your mind.
28.
With a desperate lunge, you bury your sword in the creature as deep as its spine, and it collapses. The eerie glow around it dissipates and the expression resolves into a strange mix of agony and relief - almost gratitude. Restore your LUCK to its initial level.
It is obvious that this is the sage, or at least what’s left of him. He has had most of his blood drained, and was only kept alive and moving by some powerful sorcery using him as a deadly puppet.
For a moment the power of speech returns to him, but he is delirious and simply burbles a string of platitudes in a croaky voice: “Look before you leap… It is always darkest just before dawn… The pen is mightier than the sword… When life gives you lemons make lemonade… Laughter is the best medicine… Ahhhh.” He is gone.
You set him down gently, and feel profoundly angry that he spent his last hours in this state. There seems to be nothing of use in the cellar, so you haul yourself out with renewed determination to destroy the evil that lurks here.
If you have not already done so, will you head for…
The black door next to the armour? Turn to 34
The white door opposite it? Turn to 22
The stairs? Turn to 3
The broken field? Turn to 11.
29.
The room proves to be the sage’s study. No doubt he was particularly keen to keep intruders out but there is little in the room that strikes you as valuable.
The only furniture is a dilapidated oak chair and a desk, both grubby but clear of cobwebs. Rifling through the drawers and compartments of the desk you find:
A spider sculpture made from black obsidian,
A pen (an old fashioned fountain pen made from ivory with a metal tip, though you can’t find any ink)
A blank parchment
A long, thick pencil, which by the looks of it was recently made by the sage himself.
A slim pamphlet detailing spells relating to turnips (how to make them grow bigger, tastier, out of season; and a ‘page turnip’ spell which can convert a turnip into a book).
A pair of notebooks detailing how to translate two languages into each other. Both languages seem to have been invented by the sage.
The items are all fairly light, so you can take as many as you like.
Now, if you haven’t done so already, you may…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
30.
The warrior looks distinctly unimpressed as you take water, heat it up on a stove and add a little of the material. He has already taken a good few swigs from his flask by the time you settle down in front of him.
You take a glug of the brownish liquid - and snort half of it out again as the acrid concoction burns your throat. Lose 1 STAMINA and 1 LUCK point. The warrior looks at you with new depths of contempt, and drums his fingers on his axe, but decides against attacking you. Instead he swallows the last of his drink, leans his head against the wall and allows himself to go to sleep.
You decide to make yourself scarce. There are some empty bottles on the shelves and you may take one of these with you if you wish. You notice in passing that a lid matching the cylinder is marked with text in different handwriting to that on the side. It reads ‘Rat Ashes’. You shudder. No doubt these are more useful for spell-casting than drinking.
As you leave, the warrior’s axe eases from his fingers and topples over, cleaving one of the stone flagstones in half when it lands. At least that wasn’t your head.
Now, if you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
31.
You break the bottle of gunge over the coffin, but nothing much seems to happen. Return to 10 and try again.
32.
The warrior looks somewhat unimpressed as you squeeze several lemons into a cup and add sugar before sitting opposite him …but then he grins, reaches across the table and sloshes a good dose of his own drink into yours. You knock back your drinks. The mixture in your cup tastes very strong, but you feel invigorated. Regain 1 STAMINA point.
You sit in silence for a few minutes, and then the warrior let’s out the loudest, heartiest laugh you’ve ever heard. At the same moment, you see a little crackle like lightning join the horns of his helmet, spread to the axe heads and then swirl over the table. The warrior casually places a glass bottle on the table and the whole disturbance somehow falls into it - in the form of a murky green sludge. He adds a stopper and passes it across to you with another grin and a wave. Mark the sludge on your Adventure Sheet.
You give a nod of thanks though you aren’t sure what use the bottle of sludge is supposed to be. Is it a drink? It doesn’t look very appetising. Or a weapon?
If you ever decide to try drinking it, (any time except during combat) note your paragraph and turn to 20.
For now, you must take your leave of the warrior and investigate elsewhere. You may also take an empty bottle if you wish.
If you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
33.
An easy leap and you’re on the other side. You stroll over to the long, flat piece of stone which stands upright in a broken stone trough. Some writing is daubed on in a dark waxy substance which has endured. It reads:
Horace of Lish
Schemer, Sorcerer and Stealer of Blood
Stay Sealed Forever
A few of the red butterflies land on you …and you feel a sharp pain in your arm. To your horror, you see that one of the creatures has pierced a vein with its proboscis and is sucking your blood. Deduct 1 STAMINA point. You crush it in your hand and grimace as you pull it away and feel the feeding tube being drawn out from your flesh. You feel the feathery sensation of more of the insects landing on you and probing your skin…
VAMPIRIC BUTTERFLIES SKILL 8 STAMINA 20
This is a strange battle. After comparing Attack Strengths, roll one die for yourself and the butterflies, deducting 3 for the winning side. This is the number of STAMINA points lost by that side (none if the result is zero or a negative number). If Attack Strengths match, neither side makes the deduction.
If you reduce their STAMINA to 3 or less, turn to 15.
34.
The door is dark and looks flimsy, contrasting with the suit of armour which gleams - the only thing in the house to do so….
The armour begins to move, and even though you were almost expecting it, you jump back in fear as it shuffles in front of the door and takes up a stance, languidly levelling its clean, sharp longsword towards your throat. You stand back with sword readied to see if the armour will advance on you, but it only seems interested in blocking the door. You see that there are words chiselled carefully into the wall, previously hidden by the armour, which read simply ‘NONE SHALL PASS’.
Do you wish to fight it with your sword? Turn to 35
If you want to try a different tactic, be it a different weapon, or something to say or do, you may already have a number in mind. Add five to it and turn to that number.
Alternatively, if you have not already done so, you can…
Go through the door behind you? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
35.
The magical armour moves with an unnerving quiet and smoothness which you suspect could be matched by few warriors if they were wearing it.
SUIT OF ARMOUR SKILL 10 STAMINA 18
If you hit it three times, turn to 14.
36.
You wait - then out of nowhere something terrifying leaps up and sweeps an arm within an inch of your face. Your sword is not ready, but you instinctively punch it in the head and it falls awkwardly. You leap after it, sword drawn.
The pale monstrosity seems like an aged man, yet so shrunken and gaunt it surely cannot live, but it thrashes its arms at you at alarming speed - and those arms have many shards of broken glass embedded in them. It glows with a pale light in the darkness, and worst of all is the wide-eyed look of horror on its own face which must exceed even your own…
MONSTROSITY SKILL 7 STAMINA 6
Every hit the MONSTROSITY lands on you costs 3 STAMINA points. Also, it fights in a frenzy, so if your Attack Strengths match you both take a hit.
If you win, turn to 28.
400.
You arrive back at The Fatted Chieftain just before twilight sets in. Predictably your knock results in a chorus of squealing inside, but the sound softens when you speak and the barman cautiously eases open the door.
The faces you remember from earlier are all here, though they’ve now comically arranged themselves to form some token resistance to the vampire. All of them brandish chair legs split lengthwise to form a point with the exception of two of the girls, who hold handfuls of silver coins ready to pelt the fiend with. Plucky resistance - that Horace would have enjoyed taking apart.
Unable to resist a moment of theatre, you walk in presenting the skull face-first to them with both hands. As they stare at it, disbelieving, you spread your hands with a flourish to show how it splits. A great cheer goes up and suddenly everyone is embracing you.
As the beer flows freely, the tavern fills with other villagers called from hiding in their cellars. You tell your story over and over and are offered surprisingly well crafted pieces of armour and weapons. The barman announces that ‘Slumberdown’ is no longer an appropriate name for the village, and suggests a version of your name instead.
You feel fantastic. Your adventuring career has barely begun and yet you are already a hero. Your archery training can wait a little: a few days of free food, drink and basking in glory await you - and hopefully some sex.
You can't just blunder round as there are a couple of puzzles. Those probably won't tax any veterans though. I set them with my own level of brainpower in mind and I've been stuck in deadshadowrunner 's signature for six months.
Mindless gushing and very gentle constructive criticism gratefully received.
_______________________________________________
Background:
You had a spring in your step as you ambled into the village of Slumberdown on the journey from your hometown of Slackjaw to nearby Fairway. Your training in swordplay is complete, and you have been unable to resist swinging and brandishing your gleaming new blade as you go - even taking on a young giant spider on the way. You have much to learn, of course, including archery from a Fairway bowman who owes you a favour, but you can’t help feeling like an adventurer already.
The fight has delayed you, and the sun begins to sink in the sky too soon for you to press on to Fairway tonight. But you have a few copper and silver coins for an inn, so you feel undaunted.
There is something strange about the village, however. The valley has a great tear across the earth as if there had been an earthquake - and indeed, you remember feeling the ground trembling a little beneath your feet just before dawn broke, along with the crash of a great storm. Your greater concern however is that the place seems to be deserted.
Finally, you find your own way to The Fatted Chieftain and hammer on the door with the pommel of your sword. There is no answer as such, but you fancy you hear a faint whimpering.
“Hello?” you call, “Any rooms free?”
At length you hear the door being cautiously unbarred and half a wizened face with eye stretched wide peeps round it. “A warrior!” exclaims the barman, and bustles you in.
Half a dozen people and a small black cat are huddled together in a corner of the room, sitting stiff with terror. The barman wastes no more time on pleasantries, but starts reciting doggerel:
Slumberdown has long been cursed
The threat it holds one of the worst
A fiend who learned forbidden arts
Full focussed on the darkest parts
He twisted grew, and fond of blood
And now he seethes within the mud
The day shall come when earth shall split
And open up in one long slit
Then from the earth the bat shall fly…
And only those that fortune favours, die.
“That’s all we can quote for sure, he continues, but it’s not hard to guess what happened. A sorcerer of some colour developed vampyric tendencies and the villagers of the time decided to deal with him. However, they obviously didn’t use one of the most permanent methods. Instead they must have come across the fiend’s place of rest, sealed it shut and buried it in the fields.
“Of course that could not be expected to hold one such as he, were it not for the waters of this place. The mountain peak has been thought a place of ineffable holiness for a thousand years and water which flows down from it considered blessed. Thus they hoped the creature would be bound within, and so it seems. That is why this place is named Slumberdown - as a warning to all of the great evil that sleeps here.
“Afore sunrise there was the most unnatural storm. We cannot tell who summonsed it, but a great sheet of lightening flashed across the earth before it split, and a great dark shape seemed to float up and swoop into the roof of the sage’s house.” He points at an angle through the barred door towards a point in the valley.
“He’s a strange one, our sage - or was I should say, as I doubt he’s still living. Very clever, with scraps of magic but a little mad. Kind though - he was always given to inviting the strangest guests. Now, good sir, would you be willing to visit the sage’s dwelling, and vanquish the darkness that will take or turn us? I don’t wish to be killed, or be made a bloodthirsty fiend.” He pauses. “Although to be honest I’d probably go for the second one…”
“There is another, weaker prophesy.” adds the landlady:
Slumberdown shall see a spark
Dim and feeble ‘gainst the dark
Shall this spark begin a fire
When the darkness is so dire?
You wait for a more reassuring verse, but it doesn’t come.
“Couldn’t someone else…?” you start to say. You look around you. The Barman has a long white beard. So does the landlady. A slender youth squats snivelling under the table. Three pale girls who look like they’re made of porcelain huddle together. All of them stare at you with wide, pleading eyes. Including the cat.
“I’ll do my best.” you hear yourself saying, and glumly lift the bar on the door and trudge towards the two-storey hovel in the warm light of a late summer’s afternoon.
1.
The sage’s house is broken down and dirty with big cracks in the dark wooden boards at the front and thick cobwebs shrouding the windows from view. Behind the house the meadow stretches with the great split across it. You fancy you can see some kind of flickering above a certain point along the split and you wonder whether this has something to do with the escaping fiend.
The door of the house is unlocked and slightly ajar. Clearly the sage does not care any more about security than he does about housecleaning. Peering round the door, you can see the house has a simple layout. There’s a room to the left with a suit of armour standing alongside it.
Ahead of you, a rickety staircase leads up to a dark landing on which you would obviously turn to enter the door to the single bedroom which is above your head. You instinctively glance above you, but there is nothing remarkable about the ceiling. Past the staircase on the left at the back of the house there seems to be some sort of square in the floor which may be an entrance to the cellar.
On your right is one remaining door, which you suppose must be the kitchen.
Will you try…
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
The stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
2.
You turn the corner and are confronted by a huge warrior, the likes of whom you’ve never seen before. As tall as a horse and twice as muscular he wears heavy furs and a heavy iron helmet with strange white spiralling horns. A double-headed battle-axe stands as tall as you, balanced in his right hand and his grip tightens as he catches sight of you and stares in astonishment.
Do you…
Attack immediately? Turn to 12
Await his move? Turn to 19.
3.
You tiptoe carefully up the creaky wooden steps, knowing full well that if the vampire is in the bedroom there is every chance you are giving him plenty of warning.
You turn on the landing, which unlike the hallway is completely dark, take a deep breath and approach the bedroom door. There seems to be a slight haze around it…
Are you carrying a bottle of blessed or holy water? If so, turn to 23.
Otherwise, turn to 9.
4.
The pen’s nib penetrates just a quarter of an inch into Horace, and he flicks it away contemptuously …then his eyes bulge as he feels the tiny amount of water cause havoc in his veins. He clutches at every part of his torso, arms and face, and you are certain you see his skin bubbling.
(There is a moment’s pause for you to perform one swift action if you can think of one)
Horace gathers himself and lunges at you again, but more sluggishly.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 8 STAMINA 8
Horace’s unnatural powers of recuperation are also nebulised. Each time your sword strikes him a puff of steam leaves his flesh.
If you win, turn to 10
5.
An absurd thought crosses your mind and you suppose it’s worth a try…
“None!” you stammer.
The effect this has on the armour is immediate and extraordinary. It stands up taller, turns and lets the blade of its sword drag along the ground as it moves back in front of the lettering. It does not stand however, but sits easily against the wall with one ‘leg’ stretched out and the other folded. Placing the sword across its ‘legs’ it reaches up, unscrews its ‘head’, reaches within itself and pulls out a rag and gourd of oil.
You leave it polishing itself and stroll into the room, grateful that the sage was too forgetful to remember his own passwords. Turn to 29.
6.
Horace seems to barely touch the ground as he hurtles toward you, and the fluttering of his black clothing in the dark makes him appear somehow unreal. But the long, jagged claws on his fingers are very real, and slash at you with unnatural speed.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 11 STAMINA 16
To make matters worse, whilst your sword injures him as usual, his unnatural powers of recuperation are formidable. Every round which Horace begins with STAMINA below 16, he regains 1 point ready for the next round.
If you win, turn to 10.
7.
You jump down - and are promptly blind-sided by something sharp. Deduct 3 STAMINA points.
You turn quickly …and scream as the pale monstrosity lunges for you again. It seems like an aged man yet so shrunken and gaunt it surely cannot live, still it thrashes its arms at you at alarming speed - and those arms have many shards of broken glass embedded in them. It glows with a pale light in the darkness, and worst of all is the wide-eyed look of horror on its own face which must exceed even your own…
MONSTROSITY SKILL 7 STAMINA 8
Every hit the MONSTROSITY lands on you costs 3 STAMINA points. Also, it fights in a frenzy, so if your Attack Strengths match you both take a hit.
If you win, turn to 28.
8.
Horace erupts into an inferno and staggers around. You are afraid that the room might quickly burn down too, but even when he kicks against his wooden coffin the bright orange flames do not catch. Taking no chances - as the sun is near set - you turn full circle and swing your sword with all your might to cleave his burning head from its body. Each falls to the ground and lies still.
At length, the flames die down to leave scorched bones. You pick up the skull, which has split down the middle, and return to the village.
Turn to 400.
9.
The square room is lit by dozens of candles attached to the walls, with a great wooden board blocking what must be a large window on the far wall. The remains of a wooden bed have been hacked and bound into a rough coffin shape with some crude carpentry. It is filled with fresh soil and has a lid of sorts half-covering it.
In the far corner of the room stands your enemy: tall, pale and wearing the tatty remains of what was once a sumptuous black robe. He is waiting calmly for you.
“Greetings, noble warrior.” he intones, in a deep yet lyrical voice. You sense he is mocking you.
“I am Horace. You may have heard of me. I have been lying awake under the earth for centuries. With no blood I became as weak as a kitten yet continued to exist long after those who imprisoned me had passed. Finally I have been summonsed to return by forces you cannot understand.
“Soon I shall have my revenge on those impudent villagers. But it is kind of you to come to me now. It is tiresome waiting for twilight while I thirst. Of course I have a little blood bottled since this morning - but if revenge is best served cold, blood…” he opens his mouth and runs his tongue over his teeth, and you see the elongated fangs for the first time, “…is best piping hot.”
With that he floats rather than jumps over the coffin and comes skittering at you!
Do you have an item containing holy water? If so, treat the letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), add together the second and third letters and subtract the number of letters in the word. Turn to that reference. (So if you were carrying a COW full of blessed water, you would turn to 15 + 23 - 3 = 35. That’s not the right answer.)
Otherwise, draw your sword and fight. Turn to 6.
10.
You jab your sword into Horace’s side one too many times and he scuttles or flutters backwards to tumble into the coffin. He lies still in it with his eyes closed and a sickly yellow glow comes over him. You can see the wounds you fought so hard to inflict, healing.
You bring your sword down with all your might on the creature’s throat …and fall on your back just in time to avoid the blade as it is flung back at your face! Unbelievably, the sword seems to have been flung up because the wound closed with such immense force.
Do you have a weapon, tool or implement that might finish Horace off? If you think you do, think of the letters as numbers (A=1, Z=26), add together the last two letters and turn to that paragraph.
Failing that, can you think of something to break which might help? Add the first two letters of that word together and turn to that paragraph.
Otherwise, turn to 18.
11.
You wander over the field, bathed in the egg yolk yellow light of early summer’s evening, to the nearest edge of break in the ground. You see the topsoil is scorched black. It is not a wide break - only a little too broad for you step over.
There is water flowing freely below you. This must be the supposedly blessed water which the villagers spoke of, and you can fill a bottle with it now if you have one to fill (if not, make a note that if you find a bottle you can come back here without turning to the paragraph again).
Just the other side of the breach is the cause of that ‘flickering’ you saw earlier. A crowd of red butterflies is swarming around something. A stone edge juts up amongst them.
You could jump over the breach to investigate. If you do, turn to 33.
Alternatively, you could return to the house and, if you have not done so already, investigate
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
Upstairs? Turn to 3.
12.
The warrior grins, hops the huge axe up in his hand and casually swings it in an arc which could have split marble. The huge weapon does DOUBLE DAMAGE (2 or 8 with a LUCK roll…)
WARRIOR SKILL 9 STAMINA 15
If you win, turn to 13.
13.
The warrior looks almost pleased as you bury your sword in him up to the hilt. He crashes to the floor with such force that you are nearly thrown off your feet.
A brief examination reveals nothing that you can take from him. His axe is so heavy that you can barely lift it, let alone fight with it. When you reach to pick up his helmet you are startled to find it crackles angrily at you with some strange magic. You can take an empty bottle from the shelf if you choose.
Now, if you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
14.
You’re not at all sure that your blows are causing much damage. You bring your sword crashing down on the crest of the helmet, only to have to drop to one knee before your weapon finishes vibrating as the armour’s sword swishes so close to your head you wonder if you’ve lost hair.
It would just be madness to die here fighting this opponent which will let you escape freely, just to get into a room which might contain nothing. If you have no other ideas as to how to get past the armour, you had better go elsewhere. If you have not already done so will you…
Go through the door behind you? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
15.
Cursing your luck, you swat away the last few of the accursed creatures and hurl yourself back across the torn ground, staggering a dozen paces before allowing yourself to slump to the ground. Rills of blood seem to be working their way over every inch of your face and arms. You wipe blood out of your eyes.
You look back towards the house and see that a window at the top of the house, currently bathed in sunlight, has been blocked up by a board or similar. You make your way back to the front door.
If you have not already done so, will you investigate…
The door to the left? Turn to 34
The door to the right? Turn to 22
The square near the back? Turn to 26
Upstairs? Turn to 3.
16.
Horace looks astonished when you produce your water-filled fountain pen. He does not seem to guess what is within it. But how are you going to use it?
If you try to stab him with it, turn to 6 and fight as normal but with a 2 point penalty to your Attack Strength. The first time you strike him with it, turn immediately to 4.
At any time either now or if you tire of trying to stab him with it, you can fling the pen at him like a dart. In which case Test Your LUCK. If you are unlucky, it deflects harmlessly off his clothing and is crushed underfoot - turn to 6 and continue with your sword. If you are lucky, turn to 4.
17.
You feel a rising sense of panic as you realise that you have no weapon with which to strike the killing blow. But you’ve kept your wits about you… maybe there’s a little sunlight left? You beat the pommel of your sword against the window board with frenzied strokes until with a great crack it splits to reveal a beautiful sunset.
The light seems weak, but within an instant Horace is sitting up with a look of panic. You scramble back across the room to head him off as he lunges for the door. Planting your feet, you raise your weapon grimly.
HORACE THE VAMPIRE SKILL 11 STAMINA 14
The vampire remains a formidable enemy - but time is now on your side. For each round you survive, deduct a STAMINA point from your opponent. However, if he wins three rounds in a row, turn to 25.
If you win, turn to 8.
18.
A sense of panic seeps through you as you realise that you have no way of completing the job. You run headlong out of the house and up the road as the sun sets. It is the best part of an hour before twilight takes hold. Hopefully you are far enough from Slumberdown for that creature not to fol…
You are knocked flat on your face as something crashes into the back of your head. Dazed and exhausted you barely react as you see a familiar figure alight in front of you and pick you up by the shoulders, his claws digging into you.
“My friend, you left in such a hurry.” he smiles nastily, “I have urgent business to take care of in the village, but I could not let you leave without saying ‘Goodbye’.”
His eyes widen and he stares deep into yours. You feel your last traces of resistance ebbing away.
“Goodbye.” he adds, and he snaps at your neck like a cobra. Mercifully, his thirst is such that your end is swift.
19.
With his suspicious eyes on you all the time, the warrior passes his axe from one hand to the other, slowly sits down, takes out a drinking flask and waits. You sense that there are only two types of people for the warrior: those he fights and those he drinks (and maybe eats) with.
You don’t have any liquor in your pack and you sense that drinking plain water would probably just insult him. But there are a few things available in the kitchen:
An open cylinder marked ‘Tea’ on the side with something that might be tea leaves in it though they look a bit strange, a freshly baked sponge sandwich cake with some kind of red berry jam in the middle, some fruit (mostly lemons) and sugar that you could probably make a drink with, and finally there are five, heavily-sealed bottles standing on the ground. A black ribbon is tied round the bottles with the word ‘spirits’ written on it in chalk.
Will you…
Attempt to make tea? Turn to 30
Have a piece of cake? Turn to 24
Squeeze some fruit juice? Turn to 32
Take a glug from one of the bottles of spirits? Turn to 27.
20.
Trembling, you raise the bottle to your lips and force yourself to gulp at the thick gunge. It tastes of little but the texture is unpleasant. As it slips down your throat you feel your body start to convulse uncontrollably…
…and suddenly you snap back into awareness of your surroundings. You feel intensely invigorated. Your skin tingles and your sword and pack seem lighter. Add 1 point to your initial SKILL and 2 points to your initial STAMINA before restoring your current levels to those maximums.
That warrior must have known some powerful magic - no doubt that was why the sage invited him.
Return to the paragraph you came from.
21.
You feel a little foolish taking the pencil out of your bag, but it’s been cut thick from a dense wood. Gingerly, you place the point against the vampire’s chest, just left of the centre. It is not flung back at you. You tap the pencil with the pommel of your sword and it pierces the vampire’s skin. Remembering that you have no idea how long it might be until the fiend is able to attack again, you raise your sword to arm’s length, and bring it down on the pencil, knocking it deep into his flesh.
The effect is instant and startling. Horace’s eyes flit open and you fling yourself backwards and shelter in the corner as he flails around and scrabbles at his chest. Waves of black energy crackle inward from every part of his body towards the pencil which even catches fire.
Horace’s body degrades rapidly. His eyes sink back and his skin stretches taut until with a sickening snap it breaks off the blackened flesh and shrivels. A moment later there is no flesh left either, just a crumbled skeleton with a few scraps of cloth and the pencil wedged between two ribs burning with a soft yellow flame. That too goes out leaving just a plume of smoke.
You edge over for a closer look. Even the skull has broken in half. You are startled to find it hot as if it had been in an oven but apart from that, and the two elongated teeth, it looks just like any other skull that has been buried for centuries. You take it with you.
Turn to 400.
22.
You slip in through the whitewashed door and peer around cautiously. The room is indeed a sort of kitchen, laid out in the chaotic way the sage has had the rest of the house, but your scalp crawls as you see a tell-tale sign that the vampire has been downstairs: There are three glass bottles on a shelf filled with what you’re certain is blood.
The room is a sort of L-shape, and round the corner you hear a shuffling sound. Could the vampire still be there?! You have time to dart back out of the door. Will you investigate? Turn to 2.
Or if you retreat, and have not done so already, will you:
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
23.
As you move close to the door you feel a slight tug on your pack. You wheel round - but there is no one there. As you move in again, you feel a firmer tug and this time a snarling voice erupts in your head.
“No flask of that loathsome priest’s piss shall pass this door!!”
You stagger back. Can the fiend see you and your belongings? Can he read your mind as well as speaking into it? You take out the bottle and move it within a pace of the door, feeling the resistance intensifying as you press it closer. Suddenly the voice erupts in your head again, repeating itself exactly. The charm is linked to the door itself and the voice just an echo woven into it. You give a sigh of relief.
Still, you must leave the bottle of blessed water here and you are loth to do so. Perhaps this limited charm will overlook a smaller container, something less obvious than a bottle, which you can fill before entering the room? If you can think of anything you are carrying which might be of use, make a note on your Adventure Sheet.
As you ready yourself once more, the thought occurs to you that the fiend could probably have conjured up a charm to keep you out if he felt he had anything to fear from a mere swordsman.
You grit your teeth and reach for the battered brass door handle. Turn to 9.
24.
You cut yourself a big slice of cake and flop down on a stool opposite the warrior, who stares at you with one bushy eyebrow raised. He makes no move to drink.
You decide to take the initiative, raise your piece of cake to him with a grin and take a hearty bite out of it. The sponge is moist and delicious and the jam …this is not jam.
Realising that you have made a terrible mistake and that this cake is the creation of a vampire with a sweet fang, you instinctively retch it out onto the table. Lose 2 LUCK points. Unfortunately, the warrior takes this as the final insult. He spits in your face and rises to his feet with his axe back in his right hand. If you stay, you must fight - turn to 12.
If you flee, the warrior will not bother chasing you. If you escape, and have not done so already, will you:
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Take a look at the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
25.
You try to stand your ground, but the third time the fiend slashes at you are forced to turn aside just long enough for it to dash through the door and jump over the stair rail, landing like a cat and darting off again.
It has probably headed for the cellar, but battered and bleeding you dare not chase it into the darkness again.
Taking advantage of the last half hour of sunlight you start scurrying along the road to Fairway. At least you can hope that the vampire will probably repair his coffinroom when night falls before thinking of coming after you. But the faces of the doomed villagers swim before your mind. This is a poor start for a budding hero.
26.
As you suspected, the square is a thick oak trapdoor down into some kind of cellar, with a heavy iron ring to lift it. You raise it halfway, and think you can hear some shuffling or panting sound below.
Will you…
Jump down immediately? Turn to 7
Wait to see what else happens? Turn to 36
Alternatively, you could abandon this investigation and if you have not already done so, head for…
The black door next to the armour? Turn to 34
The white door opposite it? Turn to 22
The stairs? Turn to 3
The broken field? Turn to 11.
27.
The bottle is so tightly fastened that you cannot remove the stopper by hand and are forced to hack it off with your sword. You nod to the warrior and you both raise your vessels to your lips. You hesitate for a moment as you prepare to swig the unknown liquor …but the bottle’s contents do not wait.
All the fluid in the bottle shoots up into your mouth at once and seems to explode in all directions at the back of your throat. For an instant you feel burning hot and icy cold all over all at once, before the SPIRIT takes control of your body and snuffs out your mind.
28.
With a desperate lunge, you bury your sword in the creature as deep as its spine, and it collapses. The eerie glow around it dissipates and the expression resolves into a strange mix of agony and relief - almost gratitude. Restore your LUCK to its initial level.
It is obvious that this is the sage, or at least what’s left of him. He has had most of his blood drained, and was only kept alive and moving by some powerful sorcery using him as a deadly puppet.
For a moment the power of speech returns to him, but he is delirious and simply burbles a string of platitudes in a croaky voice: “Look before you leap… It is always darkest just before dawn… The pen is mightier than the sword… When life gives you lemons make lemonade… Laughter is the best medicine… Ahhhh.” He is gone.
You set him down gently, and feel profoundly angry that he spent his last hours in this state. There seems to be nothing of use in the cellar, so you haul yourself out with renewed determination to destroy the evil that lurks here.
If you have not already done so, will you head for…
The black door next to the armour? Turn to 34
The white door opposite it? Turn to 22
The stairs? Turn to 3
The broken field? Turn to 11.
29.
The room proves to be the sage’s study. No doubt he was particularly keen to keep intruders out but there is little in the room that strikes you as valuable.
The only furniture is a dilapidated oak chair and a desk, both grubby but clear of cobwebs. Rifling through the drawers and compartments of the desk you find:
A spider sculpture made from black obsidian,
A pen (an old fashioned fountain pen made from ivory with a metal tip, though you can’t find any ink)
A blank parchment
A long, thick pencil, which by the looks of it was recently made by the sage himself.
A slim pamphlet detailing spells relating to turnips (how to make them grow bigger, tastier, out of season; and a ‘page turnip’ spell which can convert a turnip into a book).
A pair of notebooks detailing how to translate two languages into each other. Both languages seem to have been invented by the sage.
The items are all fairly light, so you can take as many as you like.
Now, if you haven’t done so already, you may…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
30.
The warrior looks distinctly unimpressed as you take water, heat it up on a stove and add a little of the material. He has already taken a good few swigs from his flask by the time you settle down in front of him.
You take a glug of the brownish liquid - and snort half of it out again as the acrid concoction burns your throat. Lose 1 STAMINA and 1 LUCK point. The warrior looks at you with new depths of contempt, and drums his fingers on his axe, but decides against attacking you. Instead he swallows the last of his drink, leans his head against the wall and allows himself to go to sleep.
You decide to make yourself scarce. There are some empty bottles on the shelves and you may take one of these with you if you wish. You notice in passing that a lid matching the cylinder is marked with text in different handwriting to that on the side. It reads ‘Rat Ashes’. You shudder. No doubt these are more useful for spell-casting than drinking.
As you leave, the warrior’s axe eases from his fingers and topples over, cleaving one of the stone flagstones in half when it lands. At least that wasn’t your head.
Now, if you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
31.
You break the bottle of gunge over the coffin, but nothing much seems to happen. Return to 10 and try again.
32.
The warrior looks somewhat unimpressed as you squeeze several lemons into a cup and add sugar before sitting opposite him …but then he grins, reaches across the table and sloshes a good dose of his own drink into yours. You knock back your drinks. The mixture in your cup tastes very strong, but you feel invigorated. Regain 1 STAMINA point.
You sit in silence for a few minutes, and then the warrior let’s out the loudest, heartiest laugh you’ve ever heard. At the same moment, you see a little crackle like lightning join the horns of his helmet, spread to the axe heads and then swirl over the table. The warrior casually places a glass bottle on the table and the whole disturbance somehow falls into it - in the form of a murky green sludge. He adds a stopper and passes it across to you with another grin and a wave. Mark the sludge on your Adventure Sheet.
You give a nod of thanks though you aren’t sure what use the bottle of sludge is supposed to be. Is it a drink? It doesn’t look very appetising. Or a weapon?
If you ever decide to try drinking it, (any time except during combat) note your paragraph and turn to 20.
For now, you must take your leave of the warrior and investigate elsewhere. You may also take an empty bottle if you wish.
If you have not done so already, will you…
Go through the door opposite? Turn to 34
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
33.
An easy leap and you’re on the other side. You stroll over to the long, flat piece of stone which stands upright in a broken stone trough. Some writing is daubed on in a dark waxy substance which has endured. It reads:
Horace of Lish
Schemer, Sorcerer and Stealer of Blood
Stay Sealed Forever
A few of the red butterflies land on you …and you feel a sharp pain in your arm. To your horror, you see that one of the creatures has pierced a vein with its proboscis and is sucking your blood. Deduct 1 STAMINA point. You crush it in your hand and grimace as you pull it away and feel the feeding tube being drawn out from your flesh. You feel the feathery sensation of more of the insects landing on you and probing your skin…
VAMPIRIC BUTTERFLIES SKILL 8 STAMINA 20
This is a strange battle. After comparing Attack Strengths, roll one die for yourself and the butterflies, deducting 3 for the winning side. This is the number of STAMINA points lost by that side (none if the result is zero or a negative number). If Attack Strengths match, neither side makes the deduction.
If you reduce their STAMINA to 3 or less, turn to 15.
34.
The door is dark and looks flimsy, contrasting with the suit of armour which gleams - the only thing in the house to do so….
The armour begins to move, and even though you were almost expecting it, you jump back in fear as it shuffles in front of the door and takes up a stance, languidly levelling its clean, sharp longsword towards your throat. You stand back with sword readied to see if the armour will advance on you, but it only seems interested in blocking the door. You see that there are words chiselled carefully into the wall, previously hidden by the armour, which read simply ‘NONE SHALL PASS’.
Do you wish to fight it with your sword? Turn to 35
If you want to try a different tactic, be it a different weapon, or something to say or do, you may already have a number in mind. Add five to it and turn to that number.
Alternatively, if you have not already done so, you can…
Go through the door behind you? Turn to 22
Investigate the square? Turn to 26
Climb the stairs? Turn to 3
Or will you duck back out of the door and investigate the broken field? Turn to 11.
35.
The magical armour moves with an unnerving quiet and smoothness which you suspect could be matched by few warriors if they were wearing it.
SUIT OF ARMOUR SKILL 10 STAMINA 18
If you hit it three times, turn to 14.
36.
You wait - then out of nowhere something terrifying leaps up and sweeps an arm within an inch of your face. Your sword is not ready, but you instinctively punch it in the head and it falls awkwardly. You leap after it, sword drawn.
The pale monstrosity seems like an aged man, yet so shrunken and gaunt it surely cannot live, but it thrashes its arms at you at alarming speed - and those arms have many shards of broken glass embedded in them. It glows with a pale light in the darkness, and worst of all is the wide-eyed look of horror on its own face which must exceed even your own…
MONSTROSITY SKILL 7 STAMINA 6
Every hit the MONSTROSITY lands on you costs 3 STAMINA points. Also, it fights in a frenzy, so if your Attack Strengths match you both take a hit.
If you win, turn to 28.
400.
You arrive back at The Fatted Chieftain just before twilight sets in. Predictably your knock results in a chorus of squealing inside, but the sound softens when you speak and the barman cautiously eases open the door.
The faces you remember from earlier are all here, though they’ve now comically arranged themselves to form some token resistance to the vampire. All of them brandish chair legs split lengthwise to form a point with the exception of two of the girls, who hold handfuls of silver coins ready to pelt the fiend with. Plucky resistance - that Horace would have enjoyed taking apart.
Unable to resist a moment of theatre, you walk in presenting the skull face-first to them with both hands. As they stare at it, disbelieving, you spread your hands with a flourish to show how it splits. A great cheer goes up and suddenly everyone is embracing you.
As the beer flows freely, the tavern fills with other villagers called from hiding in their cellars. You tell your story over and over and are offered surprisingly well crafted pieces of armour and weapons. The barman announces that ‘Slumberdown’ is no longer an appropriate name for the village, and suggests a version of your name instead.
You feel fantastic. Your adventuring career has barely begun and yet you are already a hero. Your archery training can wait a little: a few days of free food, drink and basking in glory await you - and hopefully some sex.